If I could be anywhere, I’d be naked with you right now…

Well, we can all daydream can’t we? And we can dream whilst sleeping too and given we sleep an average of eight hours per night (when we don’t have deadlines) we can have a pretty good sex life without having to do much anything at all.

That’s just the problem. Not doing much anything at all.

In life we want many things, but it takes will and action to get there. I don’t mean forced action – I mean going with intuition kind of action. Nonetheless, the mountain ain’t gonna climb itself. If you use your intuition right you might find a bus up the mountain, but all the same there will be obstacles. There always is. It’s called the adventure of life.

I found this quote this week: “I wonder why birds always stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the Earth. Then I ask myself the same question.” – Harun Yahya. I found it and I found it profound. Not because I necessarily think much about going anywhere (apart from France, haven’t been for a while), as it appears I’ve traveled the world for a very long time. No, traveling isn’t what it brought up for me, but what you do from moment to moment. You could be anywhere, do anything – what are you choosing to do?

The truth is most of us are lazy. And it’s easier to daydream than to do. There are all these visible obstacles as well, like the laundry, the dishes, the uhm traveling, the kids, the…everything! But have you ever noticed that when you are really busy you get so much more done in a shorter space of time, because you have to?

I think the answer is obvious why the birds don’t fly – either they don’t know that they can and are scared of what’s beyond their experience, or they already love where they are. But as humans, sometimes we don’t do something not because of fear, but because we don’t have to. Is it really easier to give up on our dreams though?

It’s nice dreaming about hot dudes, but there’s something about having them in your bed whilst dreaming about them…

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Image Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/507780926708898641/

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Skinny dipping in Sweden…here comes the naked Swedes!

The other day in the rain and in between bouts of thunder our neighbor ran naked across the road and out on the bridge and plunged into the water. Skinny dipping at its best. So today I decided it was my turn. Only I kept the bikini on. It was a bit too sunny for me to hide in the clouds and rain. I do like skinny dipping though. What better than a naked moment in nature?

Yesterday I found out that one of my foster kids in South Africa, the boy, has been beaten by a relative and another kid, the third T, who I have been mentoring, his brother has been stabbed in the leg by his mom. Also, Liezel, the principal at Little Angels, is suffering from health problems and this morning it was confirmed that to get medical attention for her we need 12,000 rand, but we have to do it or she might actually die. It’s in those moments I panic, I get angry, I wanna…well kick one of those big kicking things boxers have (I’m so educated I totally know the name for it). We used to have one in the garage in South Africa. Anyway, one of those.

The feeling I get after the anger, sadness and helplessness is that I want to be on the first plane back to Africa – I’ve been away for so long this year, first Los Angeles, then London, now Sweden. I know it won’t help though – the best way for me to help Little Angels and the kids is to sort my business and my life and to spread awareness. It’s to interlink my dreams with the dreams of Little Angels. It’s to create a business that supports Little Angels and to share the story of Little Angels with the world. That ain’t gonna happen if I run back to Cape Town every time there is a crisis. Nor will it help any of them if I give up my calm and happiness and sit around feeling bad about it. Liezel tells me time and time again that I’m a role model for the youth and kids – that they all talk about me and wanna be me. I can’t be a role model if I don’t live my dreams. Nor can I adopt the twins if I don’t make money enough to do so. But it’s hard being away sometimes. It’s really hard.

Sometimes these things hit you like a door slamming in your face and you look up all bruised wondering how the hell you can walk around happy when you are in so much pain. Is it possible? It’s not possible to ignore the pain. It’s not possible not to want to hug the kids and the people you love; to be there for them. You will long to do that. It is possible, to keep enjoying your own life though and you have to. You can’t give up your life because others suffer. There is so much suffering in the world and you won’t help it one bit by joining in with the suffering. To alleviate it you have to focus on making yourself happy and help those around you find as much happiness as they can under the circumstance.

So last night, before hanging up with Liezel, I decided to make her laugh. I talked about the first thing that sprung to mind – the ghosts in our house (long story about TVs that turn themselves on and off and other interesting things). I had her laughing so much I thought she might end up with a stomach ache from working her abs.

For myself, I decided to keep going with my career and enjoy myself as much as I can whilst I am in Sweden. I don’t get to see my family often, nor do I get to be in the Swedish countryside very often and I love nature and summer. I also love art – creativity. So I want to take this opportunity to indulge in my surroundings and allow the creativity that flows through me when I am out here to flow as much as possible. I want to create as much as I possibly can. And to clear my mind I will swim in the ocean as much as I can. So this morning I got up and did just that and there was this moment when I was floating in the water, looking at the sun and it was just me and nature and I felt perfectly alive. I wish to give those kind of moments to people, so I have to create them. I have to continue to inspire myself and those around me. Because that’s what I love.

I’m still worried as all hell. I’m human. I wanna hug my little boy and girl right now and sweep up my mentor kid and his brother and protect them with all my might. To make it worse, my “other daughter” as Liezel calls her, Zennie, was hit by her mom the other week. She, on the other hand has gumption. Liezel took her mom to the police (as she will with the other abusers – in SA it’s normal to give someone a hiding, a smack on the butt, but beating someone is out of the question) and Zennie explained to Liezel that she wants to talk to me and tell me all about it. Zennie knows her rights you see. And she tells anyone who behaves nastily that she will send Liezel on them to take them to the police. And somehow that give me hope, because that little girl doesn’t seem to think it’s her fault, but the other person’s fault if they behave nastily. So many kids get scarred thinking their parents don’t love them, but Zennie, who is plenty loved by her gran and other people, think the person is bonkers if they behave nastily, because she was taught all about her rights at Little Angels. She’s feisty. I like that about her. I like it a lot. The kid does, indeed, have gumption.

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The pier

The pier

Fields #WhiteNights

Fields #WhiteNights

My roots

My roots

The green, green fields of home #Sweden

The green, green fields of home #Sweden

Home

Home

A morning dip in the ocean

A morning dip in the ocean

Garden fresh berries #Sweden

Garden fresh berries #Sweden

By the ocean #Sweden

By the ocean #Sweden

Summer in Sweden #filter

Summer in Sweden #filter

By Maria Montgomery

Maria is a freelance writer and director, social entrepreneur and foster mommy to a pair or twins from the township. You can reach her via LinkedIn, Twitter: @OhMyMontgomery @LittleAngelsCT, or Google+

Check out the Little Angels’ Website – the place Maria works with underprivileged kids in South Africa.

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You look great with your clothes on. But I’d really prefer if you took them off…

I have met a lot of people. One does when one travels. Few of them showed up naked though. Many you have to spend a lot of time with to really get to know. Most, in fact, are so used to their own attitude they don’t even know themselves anymore.

Having polite discussions with people is often interesting, but I must admit that the rude ones are much more so. Non-PC. Naked. Uncensored. And sometimes you have those discussions and you see a little piece of someone else exactly as they are. That doesn’t necessarily mean you agree with them though. And it’s fascinating to think that you meet a ton of people you disagree with. We supposedly share reality, but we don’t agree on it.

Sometimes we find people. People like ourselves. Those that see the world the same. They may pursue different things, or have slightly different taste, but overall they see you, get you and get your world.

I remember discussing this with my two musketeers. We said, I believe the day we met, that we are the same. We are all different, but we are the same. Myself and my best friend are more the same though than the third musketeer.

When traveling and setting up lives in different towns I sometimes get frustrated because it takes time to find those that are the same. Those that totally get you. And I simply don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have my best friend. We may not always be together, but I know there is one person who gets me. Who sees the world the way I do.

I still think, till this day, the most beautiful gift you can give someone is to see them. Hear them. Feel them. We do so little of that. So very little. We are too concerned where we are going, how we are feeling, what we want, what the other person triggers in us. And it’s sad, because somehow we’ve stopped seeing each other. We may not all be the same. Not everyone will be your best friend. Not everyone will live in your world. Your little Universe. But we can all look at each other with all our senses and pay attention to what we see and feel. We can experience each other as fully as possible, given we usually still view each other through the lens of our own Universe. At least we can try to see people. Maybe then, we’d stop being so obsessed with where we are going and what Kanye West had for breakfast.

So often in my life I’ve been with people and shared beautiful moments like travelling, or staying up all night and watching the sunrise, and I knew those were special moments. But something was always wrong. I wished I’d been with someone else. I knew that what I was feeling, exactly what was so important to me, they didn’t understand. But I’m happy to be with you. – Celine, Before Sunrise, by Richard Linklater

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I actually found this image so hot that when I first saw it I almost fell off my chair. That’s my universe of hotness for you…

Image source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/507780926708898307/

By Maria Montgomery. 

Maria is a freelance writer and director, social entrepreneur and foster mommy to a pair or twins from the township. You can reach her via LinkedIn, Twitter: @OhMyMontgomery @LittleAngelsCT, or Google+

Little Angels’ Website – the place Maria works with underprivileged kids in South Africa.

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We could go on a dinner together. Totally casual. But if we have sex afterwards that’d be totally OK…

So I sort of kind of stole the headline. From an FBI agent. I think that’s OK. Not stealing from an FBI agent necessarily, but going on casual dinners…

I don’t actually think I’ve stolen anything, apart from toilet paper and a few people’s hearts. I confess to being guilty when it comes to the toilet paper, but as for the hearts…that’s a two way thing, right? And sometimes a one way thing altogether.

I was stirring a pot of chocolate and suddenly it occurred to me that you can only stir a pot of chocolate for so long. Sure I enjoy stirring pots of chocolate. It’s a passion of mine. I love chocolate. I really love chocolate. And  being in the kitchen always cures my frayed nerves (and let’s face it: with the life I’m living they get frayed rather often). Whatever it is I’m dealing with, the kitchen is my recovery spot. I might process things when writing, but it’s in the kitchen I step away from them and enjoy life. It’s instant meditation – there’s you, the ingredients and an empty canvas. You can invent what you love. Mother nature in full force in the form of fresh ingredients always makes me feel alive. Right now I’m in the countryside as well so we can triple that feeling of life force flowing through me and being seen all around me. It makes me happy.

So anyway, I was stirring a pot of chocolate, feeling rather content with myself, as I tend to do when stirring pots of chocolate. Then I walked over to the TV (I was multitasking) and saw some soppy love scene in a terrible movie. Like a really terrible movie. And that’s when it occurred to me – you can only stir pots of chocolate for so long. Sooner or later you have to face life. And in this case that means facing love.

You see, I’ve done this single thing for a long time. Which has been good. I became myself. I’m happy now. Like really happy. And I wasn’t before. And that’s really cool. I love the life I’ve created for myself. It has some work to do, like earn a bit more money from my writing, raise a couple of million for my business, fix up Little Angels, that kind of thing. That needs to be done. The thing is I always come back to that. Things to do. Adventures to be had. And I sort of dodge the relationship side of things.

It’s not that I don’t ever so often have the grand idea of trying the relationship thing. Last year I joined the online dating thing, which I did on and off in L.A. a few years back as well. It’s fun. I have very few complaints. Can’t complain about the avalanche of men that wanted to date me in Cape Town either. I still don’t know how the hell the sites over there works. Like 1000 men sending you requests? Seriously?! Not that most of them would have been any kind of realistic match, which they probably would have gathered if they’d met me in real life, but anyway. However, some guys were…great distraction, but that’s it.

I’m kind of petrified when it comes to men. Skip the kind of: I’m petrified. And that too I realize ever so often, but it’s one thing to play on the outskirts of it and another to really face it. Maybe I just haven’t been ready. And sometimes, honestly, I don’t know if I believe in love forevermore, but then I can’t really muster the idea of open relationships either. I find dedicated love the best kind, but given the kind of men I date it might be better if I didn’t.

So here’s the question: how do you not do casual dinners? You meet someone so hot you don’t want do casual dinners anymore, that’s what you do. And then you learn to trust them, believe in them, respect them and love them, before, you know, proceeding to after dinner activities. It’s really that simple…just as simple as chocolate and cream making the perfect ganache…

I’m pathetic, I know. I shall refrain from blogging about men till I date someone I really care about. Or until I see a hot guy walking down the street and feel an urge to make a comment…and there are a lot of hot guys. So maybe I will talk about men.

Anyway, I’m going to bed. I shall refrain making a joke about this…until tomorrow at least…

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I’d like to take you home… Poetry…

And so you find your soul

reflected in a another human

in the lines of a poem

in the sounds of a song

in the interior design of a shop

in the taste of a cup of coffee

so you sit there and muse

as you watch yourself reflected

in your surroundings

and you think it silly

and you think it profound

your words linger

in the air like puffs of woven sugar

like candy cane

you taste it in your mouth

and you wonder

why and how and if and yes and no

and you wonder

and maybe

maybe one day you will know

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Image Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/507780926708898275/

 

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Perfectly fuckable…

Our magnetic attraction to different people puzzles me. As you might have noted in my previous post. Our own preconceived ideas about others and ourselves also puzzle me.

We constantly judge ourselves and our own progress. We have goals, we have dreams, we have ideas about what society, friends and family think about us. yet, if we learn to accept our present reality we can be happy with whatever it is. Of course, there are dire circumstance that most would like to avoid. But if you think about it – who cares about scoring things? Apart from ourselves? Some people see dungeons as castles and couldn’t care less about earning more money to live somewhere else. Now you might not appreciate living in a dungeon, but how big a home do you need for your ego to fill satisfied? We are constantly cheating ourselves of enjoyment by letting our ego get in our way.

This is no news. This is old. But no matter how old, my ego is a bit slow to comprehend certain things. I still measure success in accomplishments at times. Goals are nice, working on things and accomplishing things are nice, but happiness is a different topic altogether. Only we often think it isn’t.

Today this hit me as I was pondering a project of mine. I tend to have a few. And I was thinking well, I could get this person to contribute this one thing and that’d be pretty cool. And then I suddenly stopped in my tracks and though “But I could supply that myself to the project, what difference would it make? Why would it make me feel different if this person contributed?”

Sometimes it seems obvious why we do something. We get a person on board our movie project because they are a good actor. Other times we do it because we consider that actor impressive and it would make our ego feel good being seen next to them. When I feel myself, in whatever situation, gravitating towards the latter, I know I’m not just enjoying an experience, like directing a good actor. No, I’m getting my ego involved. And that, somewhere down the line, means disappointment. It’s not real. It’s just a perception. And perceptions change. Even if this actor continues to be impressive for the rest of our lives, our situation will change and if we rely on looking impressive to feel happy we are in for a ride of the more unpleasant kind. Life has ups and downs and we have to come to terms with enjoying the exploration, rather than counting on results to become happy. If you investigate you learn, even if you don’t win the Nobel prize, you can live perfectly happy.

At times I’ve found it hard to know what attracts me to certain people. Is it looks? Is it similarities in thinking about life? Is it their incredible drive? Is it that they are impressive to others who use the ego to judge people? Is it that they will treat me as I’m used to being treated? What’s my real intention in getting to know them? There is a connection, of course, but is it a good one, or a bad one? Is it a “heart to heart, soul to soul” connection? Is it a “physical attraction” connection? Is it a “reliving my past” connection? Is it a “our minds, whether right or wrong, perceive the world the same way” connection? Is it an ego “you impress me, I look good next to you” connection?

I like connections, I often find them magical, but some will lead us to happiness and some, although exciting to start off with, will lead us straight to hell because we don’t really get what the connection is really about. We fancy it is something it isn’t. Someone might be incredibly intellectually stimulating, bring you a ton of laughter, turn you on like no other, but be so destructive that once you are emotionally attached (if you haven’t mastered going above that when you see the destructiveness) they will bring you down with them. You have memories of happiness with them. You have a genuine love for certain aspects of their personality. And before you know it you are defending the good in them and ignoring the bad. Before you know it you are an addict – addicted to the ups and thanks to them willing to take the downs.

I normally keep good friendships with people. There are few ups and downs. Men have been an entirely different topic – I don’t fall in love very often and when I do it’s not always a sane decision and I would like to change that.

There is nothing better…almost…than when you meet someone you just feel a connection with. Whether a new friend or potential date. But it has hick-ups. If our judgment is screwed because we are judging from a place that doesn’t serve us, then we end up becoming friends with or dating nut cases. It’s not preferable, even if they are intellectually stimulating, funny, gorgeous, adventurous, stylish and totally irresistible…even if they can cook and make love and drive too fast in little cars whilst the wind is messing up their perfectly messy hair…

I’m trying to sort out my priorities. Perfectly messy hair should potentially not be one of them, but it doesn’t stop me from liking perfectly messy hair, does it? But why? Why, why, why?

Right, I’m off. It appears I have work to do. Other than figuring out why perfectly messy hair is attractive.

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Image Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/507780926708897045/

In the dime stores and bus stations

People talk of situations

Read books, repeat quotations

Draw conclusions on the wall

Some speak of the future

My love she speaks softly

She knows there’s no success like failure

And that failure’s no success at all

- Bob Dylan

 

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The problem with nice asses, zen thinking and horniness…

So, let’s talk dirty – it’s been a while since I really had a go at steaming it up on here. I’ve been philosophical. I’m tired of that so let’s talk horny. People get horny all the time. For all the wrong reasons. Like they see a guy and boom, they’re horny. Not because they like the guy (because they don’t know him), not because it will serve them any use being horny (and bang, they walked into a lamppost whilst checking him out…or is that just me?) and most certainly not because it’s practical, because they will never see him again. They just walked him by (and then walked into a lamppost) and he had a nice ass, so they got horny. But why? Is a nice ass worth walking into a lamppost for?

I have absolutely nothing against nice asses. I think I’ve got a rather decent one myself, if I may say so and I may as it’s my blog. And let’s face it – it works great having a nice ass, because men keep staring at it. You score all the time if you want to, only problem is that you score someone who loves your ass. As much as I love my ass, I can’t really say I want to date a man who fell in love with my ass at first sight. I’d rather prefer if he fell in love with me at first sight (or second sight for that matter – I don’t mind if he sees my ass first, so long as he sees me after). Likewise, I really do adore men with nice asses, but that’s just it – suddenly, without warning, you end up horny or falling in love with an ass. Literally. 

Is it for the sake of procreation we have these instant impulses to fuck random strangers? They call it Darwinism, but let me tell you, in that case Darwin had a funny idea about the survival of the fittest because I’ve heard my fair share of weird love stories. Like fall in love with total douche and make babies. Now how’s that serving mankind? Let’s produce more douchebags? Yay. Or are we just trying to extinguish ourselves? Like, there are too many of us, so we will just want to suddenly make babies with all the wrong people, so we end up with crazy offspring?

I guess the real point that made me think about all my pent up frustration around men is that I’m leaving L.A. and I’m frustrated because this whole town is filled with hot men and I can’t stay to practice making babies. Terrifying, I know. Real massive fucking problem. No more walking into lampposts whilst checking out derrieres. As I live this hectic life where I seem to travel non-stop and come up with new crazy ventures every other minute, I sometimes reflect on having a boyfriend (especially the idea of coming home to someone at night to calm me down after another hectic adventure), but I usually don’t really desire it all the way until I slow down and think, which happens about once a year. It happened about three weeks ago and then I realized I will be traveling all year and that kinda means no boyfriend for me. I might join the mile high club, but that’s about it. Unless I find some miracle man who’s happy to date someone who is in and out of town every few months, it just ain’t gonna happen (and no need to mention that my fear of being hurt would have to be resolved as well. That’s clearly a parentheses). So I got frustrated. And I got thinking about how it makes no sense. Like being horny for the impossible seems like a great waste of time. 

Really, honestly, I’m more upset about leaving LA than I am about men (or, well, if there was a real man in my life, then I’d probably be more upset about the man, but there isn’t). When I left three years ago I was devastated and even though I know I will be doing business in this town and it’s nothing like my last farewell – I’m bound to be back in three months, not three years – I still sulk about it. I’m horny for this city, apparently. And more than anything I think I’m horny for a home. A solid spot amongst all my travels. A place to come home to.

Why do we have to have dreams that are so difficult to obtain? Why do we fall in love with all the wrong men (or women, if you prefer)? Why do we have this inherit horniness that makes life difficult? I love my dreams, I love my ventures, I love my passion, I just sometimes wish I could…could relax a little bit more instead of being super attached to achieving it all right now. This very minute.

I know, I know – be all zen about it. Live in the moment. Enjoy the moment. Let go of desire and live your heart. But sometimes, sometimes you just want to tell the zen people to go screw themselves, or even better: screw you. Because sometimes, sometimes when you’ve chased your dreams around the globe for years you just want instant satisfaction. I know, if I turn my attention to the moment, I have it. I know. I know. And if I open my heart and live my truth I will accomplish it. But instant fulfillment of most sacred dreams wouldn’t be so bad either. 

I guess I will just have to do that. Open my heart and live it and leave the rest to the power of love, God and the Universe (I am a bit confused about which one) to take care of my most sacred dreams including meeting a sacred ass, which belongs to a sacred man (no, not a priest. Please)…only there used to be this guy in my hometown, Malmo, who biked around, taking his hands of the handlebar, saying his faith would take care of the driving, yelling: “Jesus drives.” He drove straight into a shop window. Then again, maybe he found what he was looking for in that shop?

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Image Source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/507780926708279822/

 

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