Daily Archives: August 14, 2010

Plus, minus sex…

In Swedish that actually also means plus minus six, but I’m going to be talking about something different. I.e. the English meaning…and the difference in that. You know you want to right? I mean you want the difference. You want the opposite sex. Preferably served naked with whipped cream on top and bubbly on the side (or am I just thinking aloud here? Ahem. Mind you, if I was thinking aloud I’d add strawberries and subtract the bubbly…I like ‘em without distractions…oh and that was me thinking out loud.)

Most of us have been in love, or “in attraction” with someone at one point or another. They are rather interesting phenomena whereupon you want to get as close to another human being as humanly possible. When it comes to love it’s as close as possible in mind, body and soul and when it comes to attraction it’s as close as possible body wise only. However, we have all, from time to time, suffered “love colds” (a variation on the theme of the normal cold), with symptoms such as “I want to reject you because I love you,” but that’s another story for a sunny day (given it’s pretty rainy today…).

It has been brought to my attention lately, that a lot of women, myself included, sometimes complain about men. It’s usually when a man and a woman both have gotten smitten with the “in love” phenomena, or just one of them suffer from it. Men are peculiar as they often suffer from the  in love phenomena at the same time as they suffer from the in attraction phenomena and the in attraction phenomena is  with another woman than the in love phenomena, or with all the rest of the world’s women. I have recently considered setting up a new branch of AA – Ass Addiction Anonymous.

Actually, let’s talk about ass addiction for a while, as many men seem to suffer from it and women suffer from their suffering. So, what it is, is that men naturally suffer from this. It’s in their genes – they were wired that way. All the women out there – let them stare at asses as you are out shopping, then take them home and let them feel yours. It’s the best cure. Really. They will get even more addicted to that which they can feel. Especially if you sometimes put them on a probation period at the same time as you are wearing mini-skirts for a week and sending them dirty text messages about what they will get to do when the probation period is over (I never thought of that when I had a boyfriend…hot damn..well the next one will get it…hot..!).

Women suffer from ass addiction too, they just don’t seem to feel it as strongly as men, because they are wired slightly differently. There is nothing wrong with this type of ass addiction, so long as we all know where our heart belongs.

For others, women included, ass addiction is nothing but ego – they need to know that they can have any man or woman any time they like and as they don’t feel secure in themselves knowing this, they have to act it out. So they are addicted to asses for real. Some people are natural charmers, but that’s rather different – they enjoy people and making people feel good about themselves. When it comes to this certain type of ass addiction it’s the other way around – they enjoy knowing that people would shag them if they could, so they need to make everyone think about their ass. They charm people to feel charmed themselves, usually wasting a lot of people’s time, as no one can think straight when they are thinking about an ass.

Personally, I believe I have suffered from ass addiction in all its different shapes and forms and being pissed off with men for ass addiction in all its different shapes and forms…the addiction that is, not the asses…I like one kind in particular…. ;0)

The thing with being in attraction, or in love, is that we are so because there is a difference – our anatomies and personalities were built to complement one another and when we see something that we think/feel would complement us in particular we want it, we want to try each other out to see if we fit. The problem also lies here though. Why I hear women complain about men, is because they are different. They want them for the same reason they end up hating them (although hating is severe attraction gone severely wrong – that’s why “hate love” is so popular. It’s something you love, but when it goes wrong you hate it. “Hate like” doesn’t exist, because you don’t care enough to hate it. It’s also why people stay in hate love relationships – the love is too strong for them to give it up. I’d suggest a cure of “love sort out.”).

I don’t know, but to me it seems the main problem lies in communication. I don’t know how many stories I’ve heard from female friends where “he just went from totally into me, to the next day not replying to a text and I never saw him since.” And a variation on that theme is: “he suddenly disappeared, only to suddenly reappear.” For us women this is massively confusing as we do something called talking. Men don’t really do that. They do actions (see there’s a reason why they love action movies and we find them boring – they lack intelligent conversation, but they have intelligent action…if you consider fighting intelligent.). Of course, we love men for their action and men love us for the way we sweet talk them. The problem comes when there’s friction as the man will do actions and the woman will talk. All the men then say “I wish she would respect me and leave me alone and stop being so damn needy (to talk).” All the women then say “if he respected me, he would have told me what he was thinking and not just disappeared.” The thing is, if you do wanna work it out, if so only to keep the friendship (and when women lose that, that’s when they feel really upset as they feel disrespected as a person) you have to communicate, one way or another.

The disappearing and reappearing thing is simply because men want to be alone when they think (and as they are slow creatures, it can take them months) and women need to discuss things. So the men find the women clingy and the women find the men disrespectful.

The funny thing is, when things are working, women love men because they are different – they will hug them instead of talking to them. And men love women because they will tell them they like them, instead of only tearing their clothes off.

Plus attracts minus, but plus does not always understand minus. If plus and minus would only learn that they have to speak their minds, but maybe in languages that the other understand, then the war of the sexes may come to an end. In the meantime, I will enjoy the dirty fighting…metaphorically speaking…in reality I’d like a man who hugs me and then tells me why, tells me why and walks away, comes back and then tells me why. What a man would like me to do…well I guess he will have to tell me. In words. Then I’ll tear his clothes off in response…so he understands what I’m saying…

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Your heart…

There is a wisdom of the head, and a wisdom of the heart. – Charles Dickens I personally believe that the heart knows the answer way before the head, because the heart knows what your subconscious knows – it has taken into account all the gazillion things you would never consciously have known you knew. It also knows what’s underneath your fears, belief systems and other thoughts that create your reality, but aren’t necessarily real.

A friend of mine was spending a lot of time with a man. She told everyone about him as she enjoyed his company so much, but to her he was just a friend. Her friends then told her how gorgeous he was and that really, she was blind. If she missed out on her opportunity to be with this man, she was crazy. So she had a think and realized that maybe they were right. Next time she met him she got heart palpitations just looking at him, because she saw him from a completely different light.

Thoughts make things into things – they complicate them a thousand times over and often leaves us frustrated as we just don’t bloody know – the mind can see something from a thousand different perspectives, that’s why it’susually a good idea to make up your mind to see things from the perspective that would be most useful to you when it comes to every day things, such as the weather. A storm can be exciting and exhilarating with a chance of curling up with a good book and a cup of tea, or it can be something other than the sun and you can’t go hiking…

Once upon a time there were two guys I met at the same time. One was obviously attractive to me, the other was obviously irritating, yet both caught my attention. As destiny would have it I got the guy that was obviously irritating, because he was also irritatingly stubborn and as events unfolded…it just happened that way. Looking back I find it rather amusing – if you would have asked me who to go for I would have picked the obviously attractive one, but to this day the obviously irritating one brings the biggest smile on my face you could ever imagine.

It has therefore become apparent to me, that sometimes my heart’s message must get lost in translation…I mean I am dizzy and all that so I usually get caught up in ten thought of train at the same time…

The other day I decided to spend a few minutes thinking with my heart. I immediately came up with a branding solution that’s been bugging me for quite some time. I don’t necessarily know how to figure out what the heart is always feeling, as my thoughts usually create my feelings by forming opinions, but I figure one can do as one does with expanded awareness – realize that what you are thinking about is about one millimeter of the world’s surface – your world is tiny and so also your perspective. Allow yourself to be open to seeing things from a different angle and seeing more than what you are currently seeing (always remember that you might, unknowingly, be staring at a cow’s ass – being so close to the cow that you mistake that for being the world as it’s all you can see). Then, ask your heart to open up to you and share what it’s truly feeling. After all there is the saying “ask and it shall be given.” Think and it shall remain obscure. Your thinking is always swayed by your perception of the world, your knowledge, your experiences…the heart does not have an opinion. It just feels what’s best for you. At least, I believe that…but then it may be my head thinking…;0)

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