If you like dumb blondes…

Never wash your car without them...

Dizzy blonde moment of the day two days ago was a classic: I decided to wash the car. It’s pollen season. The car wash was long over due. So, I got home from work, dropped my things off and went back to wash it. In high heels, naturally (who can be bothered to change shoes anyway??). I was using my landlord’s hose as it was conveniently placed in the driveway. It’s an old-fashioned kind with a metal handle. Of course I pressed the handle and sprayed my face instead of the car. When I say I’m a comedy show, it’s not a joke….but it’s only funny if you like daft blonde jokes…

You have to laugh at yourself and your life if you want to have a fun ride, but some things are serious. If you don’t deal with them you will always be a tad uncomfortable under the laughter…or under the chocolate cake, or the beautiful scenery, or the amazing sex, or the workload…. Yet even when you do the “heavy stuff” you have to do it with lightness, with laughter. As my former principal said: “whatever it is in your mind, it’s just a thought. It isn’t real.” Anyway, below someone explains something I find very important to do, so that you clear your mind and can fully enjoy your own jokes…ahem…

Austerity means to eliminate the comforts and cushions in your life that you have learned to snuggle into and lose wakefulness. Take away anything that dulls your edge. No newspapers or magazines. No TV. No candy, cookies, or sweets. No sex. No cuddling. No reading of anything at all while you eat or sit on the toilet. Reduce working time to a necessary minimum. No movies. No conversation that isn’t about truth, love, or the divine.

If you take on these disciplines for a few weeks, as well as any other disciplines that may particularly cut through your unique habits of dullness, then your life will be stripped of routine distraction. All that will be left is the edge you have been avoiding by means of your daily routine. You will have to face the basic discomfort and dissatisfaction that is the hidden texture of your life. You will be alive with the challenge of living your truth, rather than hiding from it.

Unadorned suffering is the bedmate of masculine growth. Only by staying intimate with your personal suffering can you feel through it to its source. By putting all your attention into work, TV, sex, and reading, your suffering remains unpenetrated, and the source remains hidden. Your life becomes structured entirely by your favorite means of sidestepping the suffering you rarely allow yourself to feel. And when you do touch the surface of your suffering, perhaps in the form of boredom, you quickly pick up a magazine or the remote control.

Instead, feel your suffering, rest with it, embrace it, make love with it. Feel your suffering so deeply and thoroughly that you penetrate it, and realize its fearful foundation. Almost everything you do, you do because you are afraid to die. And yet dying is exactly what you are doing, from the moment you are born. Two hours of absorption in a good Super Bowl telecast may distract you temporarily, but the fact remains. You were born as a sacrifice. And you can either participate in the sacrifice, dissolving in the giving of your gift, or you can resist it, which is your suffering.

By eliminating the safety net of comforts in your life, you have the opportunity to free fall in this moment between birth and death, right through the hole of your fear, into the unthreatenable openness which is the source of your gifts. The superior man lives as this spontaneous sacrifice of love.

— David Deida (The Way Of The Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Woman, Work, and Sexual Desire)

A damn sexy thief came in the night…

Mwah!

Yeah, OK, so I stole most of this post, but that’s alright ‘cuz more than one sexy beast has broken into my heart in the past and stolen some love. Usually happened before I knew what was REALLY happening. I mean, it was dark, right??!! LOL. So I bought myself a flashlight so that I can now see whomever enters and rob them of their mask of darkness. See them for whom they truly are and use my judgement to choose whom to give my love (that kind of love) to, whom to surrender to. And, uh, be ready to surrender. I mean heck, I feel guilty asking for a hug on days when I feel I actually need one, because those are the days I believe I have to prove my strength. Show that I can do fine all by myself. Well, guess what? I am doing fine all by myself. Now I think I have to learn to do fine next to someone else. The right someone else.

If you are with a man you don’t trust, it is only because you prefer unsurrendered love to surrendering wide open in total trust. It feels safe. You are afraid to let go of control–part of you doesn’t trust love’s command–so you have chosen a man who doesn’t demand your surrender with his depth of integrity. If you did trust the command of love, you would only settle for a deep man capable of opening you more deeply than you could instruct him.

Few men are worthy of your total trust, but if you were with a trustable man would you be able to offer your body wide open, surrendering open beyond the edges of the universe, offering him more of your awesome pleasure than he has ever had the blessing to behold?

A deep man of integrity takes your heart into his heart as he navigates, fine-tuning his actions while feeling your heart’s response, always valuing your feedback. But his navigation is not relinquished or weakened by your feedback or anyone’s.

The feminine is a miracle of surrender, a flower of force that either opens or closes. As a woman, you can use your masculine discrimination to decide which direction to move in, but when you are polarized into your feminine energy–by a man of great masculine presence, for instance–then you may lose access to your masculine directionality. In moments like these, you may find yourself unable to say no. (Thiefs, thiefs, I say…you make me dizzy then I fall…LOL!)

How would you be breathing right now, sitting right now, moving right now, if your body were being entered by a man of enormous love and integrity, a man who felt so deeply into your heart that you were forced to reveal your most subtle closure, taking you open so exquisitely you could hardly bear to open in so much love and trust?

Surrender means to love without limits. It means to relax your guard so your lover can feel your core–authentic, unhidden, and undefended. Your muscles relax. Your breath becomes full. Your body and heart willingly open to your lover. If you are hurt, then you are hurt, but in any case you practice to remain open and full, like the ocean. Surrender is the doorway to the deepest possible sex.

Masculine anger is always because you are feeling constrained, trapped by life. Feminine anger is always because you are feeling unloved.

Direction and depth: these are the qualities in your man that will most determine how fulfilled you are in relationship with him. Many other factors certainly influence your enjoyment, including how your man smells, what kind of father he is, his level of income–everything from his height to his sexual style to whether he likes country-western music will influence the quality of your time together. But if your direction and depth do not match, then no degree of similar interests will make the relationship very fulfilling.

Men are terrified of a woman’s depth of love and the energy that moves as a woman’s sexuality and emotions. And, at the same time, men want nothing more in this life than to merge completely with a woman’s devotional love and wild energy.

Few men are capable of entering a woman’s heart and opening her body to God’s bliss, but few women are capable of offering their heart and body to be claimed open in this way.

You don’t want a rigid man, but you want a man whose heart’s courage and authentic truth runs deep. You want a man who feels you, listens to you, considers everything you have said, and then claims you, taking you to where you couldn’t tell him to take you, even if you tried. He takes your heart to new depths of adventure and openness, and he shows you new aspects of life. A woman ready for opening deeply in two-bodied devotion won’t settle for less. She has matured to know the sublime pleasure of surrendering open to be lived as the untamed force of love, so she chooses a man whose command takes her deeper and beyond where she even trusted was possible.

Somehow all of this reminds me of another truism: Don’t assume that they know you care. I remind myself to tell my wife that she is beautiful, that she is a good person, that I know that she is loving and caring. Often times we can only give people our negative attention, whether at work or at home.

Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease, or women.

If you are waiting for anything in order to live and love without holding back, then you suffer.

Anyone who separates being and doing is still enjoying separation.

You can ravish your woman so deeply that her surrender breaks your heart into light.

The simplicity of it is this: give everything you have to give in every moment, completely.

Be willing to change everything in your life to live a full one. I have gone down this road myself and couldn’t agree more. Not just change for change’s sake. Change for betterment’s sake. And don’t expect the transition to be easy. Point is, the outcome is worth it all.

- David Deida -

And now everybody – this is how you do it. Go on then – grab a hold of someone and smack ‘em on the lips…!!!