I love taboos. I mean they are so ridiculous. Like we are all on this planet pretending to be someone, or something we are not, apart from with our near and dear ones, whom know the truth. They know what we look like naked, both in the flesh and soul, if we are lucky. Some people tend to want to keep their soul hidden even from those nearest to them.
People often live behind intricate webs of lies. I guess American Beauty captured that. We all go on pretending we are “normal” and we have achieved what society calls the ultimate goals, such as owning our own house, having two cars, a dog, 2.5 kids (in Sweden) and enough money to go on vacation to the sun once a year and to the snow once a year. No one gets depressed, fucks up, has STDs, drinks too much, or have gang bangs (unless you live in San Francisco). And for sure no one has an abusive partner, was ever abused sexually or otherwise, comes from a “bad” background, or committed a crime. No one has issues and no one lives a “frivolous” life (in whatever way, shape, or form).
The problem with this is that people walk around feeling shameful for who they are, pretending to be someone they are not. Some to the point where they feel unloved, or unsupported, as no one knows the truth.
Another issue is that people often don’t nip problems in the bud – they have gotten so good at pretending they don’t have them that they simply ignore them altogether. It’s easier pretending to the wife that you don’t wanna shag the girl at Starbucks than telling her the sex life needs spicing up. It’s easier pretending to your colleagues at work when they ask about the dark circles that you are going through a lengthy process of selling your house, rather than that your kid is addicted to coke. It’s easier to avoid making the phone call you know you have to make, than actually make it. It’s easier to start off with, but when the molehill has become a mountain and everything shatters around you, it’s not so easy anymore.
What’s more is that all these friggin taboos lead to people burying their imagination in some sort of rabbit hole somewhere and usually never venture down that rabbit hole. I personally never managed to get rid of my imagination and till this day it startles some people. People are so prim and proper about how things are supposed to be. For example, I always wanted to have a house with a slide from one floor to another, but you can just imagine people’s faces if I did?! People have set ideas about things, from weddings to career paths. Personally, I have never been able to follow traditional patterns, which for one drives my dad to insanity. “Can’t you just be normal and follow normal paths?” Erhm, no. And I get driven crazy by other people, when I think they have no imagination.
Because I was so frightened of others opinion, so shy, growing up I guess my sense of liberation is not just doing what I want fearlessly, but doing it completely sans attitude. Doing something not as a rebellion, or to impress, or shock, but because my heart wants it.
I don’t know, I guess I just think people a bit stiff, a bit caught behind their own attitude, whether that be the outrageous artist, or the proper banker. Like is that really who they are, or just a pattern they are trapped in? Like who are you without all that? And what would it be like to be honest for a day? Not in a mean way, but in an understanding way? I always thought that if we were a little bit more like ourselves and did a little more of what we like, maybe it would be a little bit more accepted. No one is flawless, but we all have a heart and we should do our best to allow it to live.
I came to think of all this again (I know I’ve blogged about it before) because I was on my way to an appointment yesterday and this guy tried to stop me in the street and sell some charity thing. I told him I was in a hurry to a meeting, but then started laughing as I carried on walking as really: I was in a hurry to have a Brazilian. And who doesn’t have a Brazilian? But who talks about it? It’s not like because you talk about it you will let someone see the job (then again, some guys have too good an imagination and I’m the first to avoid certain topics with certain men)! Nor, do you have to provide details, there are some things that should be private, just not shameful, or taboo, or whatever, because that leads to misery.
A former friend of mine was once having sex on the balcony, when the Prime Minister of Sweden happened to come out on another balcony and I found this quite funny, whereas I’m sure some would find it embarrassing, but you know…why not? Even the Prime Minister must have sex sometimes! I’m not advocating sex in the streets as I personally don’t wanna see everyone else shagging, I’m just saying that we all do it, just like we all have our strong points and our weak points and an imagination that maybe needs a bit more freedom…