A little while back I heard someone explain to me why someone was a bastard, pretty much, at the same time as making it clear they wanted to be with this bastard. For me this was a wake-up call as I thought it really sad and I know I’ve done it myself in the past. Basically you are saying you want the perfect friend, relationship, work situation, etc. but you are blaming someone else for not giving it to you, whether you find them flawless, or not apart from that. Because you say you are willing to do it, you blame them from stopping you. Like you are ready to set up your business, but your business partner isn’t. You are ready for a serious relationship, but the person you are dating isn’t. You are willing to have the best ever relationship, but your friend isn’t. And you are the one ending up frustrated because you are willing to give it all, but if you think about it, why do you choose to do it with them? If you truly wanted it, wouldn’t you have chosen someone who truly wanted it also? Or maybe you are just so used to being frustrated, that you always choose situations which frustrates you? Or hang around people who frustrate you?
This also reminds me of one of this year’s focuses for me which has been whenever someone for some reason frustrates, or annoys me, I look to see if this resonate with something in me. If I get annoyed because someone avoids conflict, doesn’t trust my love, or tells white lies, or whatever I look to see if I have it in me. I.e.: If someone doesn’t trust my love, do I not trust other people’s, or my own love? If someone avoids conflict, do I avoid conflict with myself, or others? If someone tells white lies, do I tell white lies to myself, or others? A lot of our own patterns we are so used to we can’t see them. You can’t see the forest for all the trees, right?! But when you look at someone else it’s like looking at the forest from afar.
I don’t think all of this applies to everything – I’m not sure every person we meet is a mirror of ourselves in every way…I just think there is something to be said for stopping to think about why we are in the situations we are in when they annoy, or frustrate us. I also think there is a lot to be said for rethinking those situations. Like whenever you get annoyed with what is, think about what you would love for it to be. Sometimes you’ve already left the situation behind, or you don’t want to fix it in that scenario, but then imagine what you would like it to be in the future. If you just left the fivehundredeth bad party, then start imagining what a good party would be like and keep your eyes open to that. There’s a lot to be said for getting out of our own thinking habits, so that what we look for in life starts changing. On that note I’m going to focus on hearts instead of six packs, romance instead of sex and love instead of dangerous attraction…but it would be nice if it all came together…
If you can’t have him, maybe you should go for a banana instead and then stick with guys who offer…banana services…
