Like hello, gooooood morning everyone – it’s Saturday!!! Hooooray! And I’m like totally sulking because I have some office work to do before I set out for tea with a friend of mine and do other important things like writing the scripts I have promised people to write during the time I don’t have, but first I needed to blog. You know, pour my heart out on paper (no wait that’s like a totally blonde statement…because this isn’t paper, this is like my Mr MacBook and maybe he would be totally offended if I called him a paper…really I’m like pouring my heart out by caressing his buttons and unlike a floppy paper, he remains hard for me so it’s like totally orgasmic).
I’m thinking I should do some positive affirmations too, even if it’s Saturday and I’m feeling lazy. Like instead of sulking about work you know, I should be positive. Like hello I’m alive, I can write and sing and dance and all that. Well, that’s a minor lie: I can’t sing, but I will be your favorite on the dance floor in stilettos (instead of falsettos). Guaranteed. I mean especially if you are dancing with me because I’m like totally hot. I mean that’s a positive affirmation right?!! Believe in yourself.
So I do believe in myself but me and London Town are still having severe trust issues. I mean I woke up this morning and I saw frost (like it looked totally white in the blur of things I can make out without contacts on, so it was either like frost, or fog…or magic) and that’s like totally cool apart from the fact that it is totally cool. Fucking freezing. And then I came across this video below, which like totally reminded me of Cali and all the things I love. Like waking up in the morning actually being excited about the place you are in. I used to like jump out of bed and run barefoot out on our terrace watching the sunrise over downtown. That’s like so not happening here. Ever heard of frost bite? That’s like serious. And seriously I know I need to be in London right now, but that doesn’t mean I am necessarily all that thrilled about it. Or well, I’m thrilled, because I wanna be here for the things I need to be here for, but I still only like this town for on and off living. It’s like totally amazing going here because there are so many cool people and hot spots and things you like know you wanna do, but then it’s friggin fantastic when you leave for sleepy sunny I love you town somewhere.
So now I’m thinking I have to fulfill my promise of going to Africa. I mean you know I promised to set up a boarding school for street kids when I was like seventeen and one and a half years ago I gave myself three years to get going with my life before I sod off to that continent to get it going and a friend of mine actually got so excited he promised to pay the ticket. He lives in San Francisco which totally explains why he did that. Like they’re all hippie orgasm nature kids kinda people so they like this do good spirit thingamigy….but I think he like said my eyes shone and my heart sang (see that’s totally awesome because that like proves one part of me can sing and if I like affirm it maybe it like reaches my vocal chords), or something to that effect when I spoke about it, which is why he made that promise. And I like remind him every few months so that he like doesn’t take too many hallucinogenic drugs during tantra courses and forgets.
So as you can see there’s a whole load of promises involved here. Which is like totally awesome because there was like this sign during Christmas. I was like reading one of my sister’s Elle Interiors when I saw this backyard and I thought to myself “If I ever move to Africa that’s how I wanna live.” and then it turned out that it was in Kapstaden (Cape Town), which is in Africa (duh). Then my dad, whom I have somehow forgotten to tell about this Africa thing, told me that some friend of his was sailing round the world and happened to be in Cape Town and it’s like seriously dangerous there and one should like not go there (which led me to the conclusion that to spare his nerves I better not mention Africa, till I like have a bodyguard). So I took that as a good sign, because when I told him I was becoming an Actress he told me about all the homeless people in LA ad I ended up in the Hollywood Hills. And as I keep dreaming about LA every other night…like being in our house in the hills, in my true home, I figured I gotta listen to the signs, so I like prayed for a solution (more like you know crying for help and surrendering to that like place of not knowing in sweet desperation) and came up with this ingenious idea (or like maybe whoever I prayed to did, I mean you gotta be open to the fact that these things actually work. Because like that’s so like Cali and LA has like always looked after me, because I like love her so she’s like nice to me) of how to change my business plan around to be able to live here and there and everywhere, only I haven’t told my business partner about it yet…or there’s two of them really but on paper there’s only like one. So yeah, I have to like do that today as well. I mean somehow kindly suggest the change to my business partner, who is also my boss, so now I like have to do the office work I was like sulking about because otherwise I would be toast. And being a burnt toast is even worse than being a bit frosty. I might like not end up on the front of Time Magazine as the most influential woman of the year in 2020 and that would be like seriously devastating as I like totally believe in positive manifestations.
So now I have to like go and work…well, like you know: continue sitting in bed, but doing other things….but like not those kind of things that one should like do in bed….I’ll just continue to like caress some buttons…on my MacBook…and then run out and buy a Mr Canon so we can have a threesome. Awesome.