People post images of themselves standing at some Hollywood premier looking glammed up from top to toe screaming on top of their lungs: “I made it!” My question is: did your ego, or your heart make it?
After writing yesterday’s post I realized it’s time for me to start a new journey – the journey of my heart. To be honest with you (and I will be honest with you) I don’t know everything that entails. I do know it entails my heart though.
So what does my heart tell me?
It tells me I’m tired of a) having a closed heart b) rain c) more rain d) not working with what I love.
Within the next year, i.e. 365 days, I would like to achieve the following:
1) Move to sunny beach – set up a way of spending at least half the year in tropical paradise, or live there permanently with enough cash to fly back and forth to Europe minimum twice a year
2) Work with something I love and be involved with a project working with children in need
3) Open my heart and love
4) Ban rules and follow intuition (which may entail creating rules…erm)
5) Live a lifestyle I enjoy, including exercise, meditation and a lot of raw foods
6) Dare to be close to a man I love
7) Have started creating a proper home
8) Feel true connection with others (refers back to number 3)
9) I may have to change all the above in favor of number 4
It sounds quite simple right? It is and it isn’t. I have no clue of how to achieve this. I don’t even know how to be so synched that I can follow my heart at all times. I know I’ve got intuition, plenty, but it only works when I’m in the right state of mind, or when it feels like it. I can tell you when the bus is coming on certain days…but that’s certain days and that’s the bus. Sometimes I know when I will meet people. Sometimes I know something, but don’t know what I know (I once happily told my ex he was having an extremely intense thought about me in that one moment. He agreed…and refused telling me what it was. See what I mean? Infuriating. LOL). Sometimes I can tell people what they are about to tell me. I can also easily get on the tube in the wrong direction. Get what I’m saying?!
I know that once you start on a journey you will get there. You always do. The problem lies in discovering the journey. I know some simple steps to take and from there I will know more. I am still confused beyond bewilderment both when it comes to career and where I should actually be living, but my intuition says to write and go to Africa, but if I will actually live off my writing, living in Africa, or not, is an entirely different matter – I might have to go to Africa only to prove that’s not where I want to go. Besides, I still have an blossoming love affair with both LA and France. All I know is what to do now. What will come next…well that will happen then. And how do you open your heart by the way? I have a feeling this will be an interesting journey indeed…
I’m starting a new challenge. It once was “365 posts in a year.” It is now “365 steps in a year.” As I said – I’m not sure what those steps will be. I’ve spent five days finishing writing my book proposal and googled myself crazy on South Africa and their immigration policies (it’s not for the faint hearted, or the poor. Nor are their prisons, come to think of it) – spoken to some really nice people too. I’ve torn my hair out regarding my own business and started scrutinizing every part of it to see when, where and if. I’m now onto getting a British driver’s license so I can work in the film industry should I choose.
I may end up selling scuba gear in Bali, but whatever it is – the journey has begun. I think it may be wise to post at least one thing a day that I’ve done to achieve it. I’m just not sure where, or how. I will figure that out over night.
If anyone else has a 365 day journey they are doing – mail me, snail me, tweet me, or Facebook me!
Till later – dream well and listen to the song of your heart! (Did I just say that? I hope you like cheese. French cheese.)