Right. I never claimed sanity, although I think I’m more sane than most, yet more crazy too… The funny thing is, when I write, or for that matter, when I live, I can only show up as whatever I choose, not knowing what others will think of it. If it is right, or wrong, who knows? I guess as an artist though, it’s even more visible to you, as you literally get feedback thrown at you. If people don’t like your work – you get booed at. And having said that I’m about to post a short film script that’s not the best I’ve ever written. I do think it could be funny to make it, as then I could play with the actors and get what I want for each scene. As a plain script though…well, it’s plain. It was originally part of Quickies. Plain, or not plain, thoughts are welcome!
(It hasn’t been formatted properly.)
The Morning After
Two people in a bed are awakening. The woman awakens first. Realizes she doesn’t know where she is. Orientating. Slight panic. Trying to peek at the man who has his face the other way. The man starts moving and she slips back to where she was and closes her eyes. Man stretches. Realizes there’s a woman in his bed. Still with his face away from her panics, then prepares, turns around and peeks at her, searching his memory for who she is, clearly confused. She opens her eyes again.
Man: Slept well?
Woman: Yes. You?
Woman: Mind if I use the bathroom?
Man: No, no, go for it.
Woman starts to sit up.
Woman: Uhm, where is it?
Man: The bathroom? Just out there. In the hallway.
Woman sits up properly. Realizes she’s naked and panics – pulls the cover over her. Scans the room for her clothes, but can’t see them anywhere.
Woman: I think I’ve lost my clothes…uhm, do you know where they are?
Man: (looks around) No. Let me have a look.
He is getting out of bed naked, realizing it half-way and grabs one of the sheets off the bed.
Woman waits in bed, having a look around – scanning for clues of who this guy is.
Man comes back.
Man: Here, I found them in, uhh, the kitchen.
Man: On the stove.
Woman awkwardly starts dressing underneath the covers.
Man: I’m gonna go make some tea. Do you want some? Or coffee?
Woman: Tea would be great.
Man goes out. Woman sits up and puts on her bra. Man sticks his head in again.
Man: Oh, I’m sorry. (Pops his head out of the room again) I’m just wondering what kind of tea? Mint, green tea, rooibos, camomille…
Woman: Mint would be nice, thanks.
Man: Sure thing. There’re towels in the left cupboard in the bathroom, I mean if you want to shower.
Woman: Thanks, that would be nice.
Woman gets dressed and looks around. Sees a picture of the man with a young kid.
Woman: Son? Brother? Cousin?
Int. Later – day.
Man in the kitchen. Making a phone call.
Man: Hey Rob, waz up?
Rob: Just chillin man, got home late last night, the party and all. You?
Man: Well…do you know who I brought with me home last night?
Rob: No, tell me bro.
Man: I don’t know, that’s the problem – thought you might.
Rob: You forgot to get her number before she left?
Man: No, she’s still here. She’s in the shower, I just can’t remember her name. I can’t even remember what we did last night. I have no memory of ever having met her.
Rob: Haha. That’s a good one man.
Man: It’s a fucking disaster. Oh, she’s finished showering. Talk soon bro.
Woman comes into kitchen. Dressed in a party gown. The back of the dress is tucked into her knickers. Man doesn’t notice as he sees her from front.
Man: Here’s your tea. Have a seat.
Man: I would offer you something to eat, but I need to do some shopping. Busy week you know.
Woman: That’s alright.
Man: Mind if I just go for a quick shower?
Woman: No, not at all.
Man leaves the room.
Woman looks around.
Woman: Shit, my handbag.
She goes into his bedroom, then the living room. His suit is spread all over. There’s an open condom package.
Woman: Shit, shit, SHIT.
Finds her handbag next to the couch. Calls a friend and walks back into the kitchen.
Woman: Hey, Julie, it’s me.
Julie: Hi girlfriend, what’s up?
Woman: Fuck knows. I woke up in this stranger’s apartment. Apparently we had sex.
Woman: (And) I can’t remember it.
Julie: So he told you you had sex?
Woman: No. I don’t think he can remember either. I found evidence though.
Julie: Oh, shit!
Woman: You don’t happen to remember who I left with last night, his name I mean.
Julie: No. I left early, as I have to leave today for our vacation. You weren’t really getting it on with anyone before I left. There were quite a few nice single guys, you know.
Woman: Yeah, it’s just I can’t even remember seeing this one.
Julie: Is he good looking? Nice?
Woman: Mhm, stinking hot…
Julie: Well then what’s the problem?
Woman: That I can remember fuck all!!! Oh crap, he’s finished showering. Talk to you later.
Man enters kitchen.
Man: Tea any good?
Woman: Oh, I don’t know yet, it was too hot to drink straight away.
They sit in silence with their cups.
Man: I might have asked you this last night, but to be honest I can’t remember: how do you know the hosts?
Woman: Well, I can’t remember if you did either. (both laugh) Must have been pretty drunk ehh?
Man: Uhhm, yeah. I don’t think I have been that drunk in years. My head…ouch!
Woman: Me neither. I don’t really drink that much normally, but they had really good cocktails…
Man: It was pretty wild.
Woman: So anyway, I’ve known Lucy since college. We both majored in film at USC. You?
Man: I know Brad from work.
Woman: Oh, you work for CNN?
Man: Mhm. Lawyer. Do acting and screenwriting in my spare time. Won a few awards for shorts – nothing major, but hoping to move into that field.
Man: Yeah, I enjoy it. Got a new project coming up now actually. What do you do?
Woman: Actress…and actually a journalist too. Write for the LA Times. A weekly entertainment column.
Man: I guess we have something in common then…
Woman: Yeah, well, it’s LA after all – I moved all the way from Scandinavia to be part of this madness.
Man: Hollywood, eh?
Woman: Yeah. What kind of shorts do you make? Any particular genre?
Man: I like comedy you know. I have written this feature script that we already have some funding for so we are filming this summer, holding auditions this week and next. You? I mean what parts do you like?
Woman: I take the parts I get, so long as the script’s decent, but I love doing comedy actually. I’ve done a lot of shorts, a few indie features, some TV…
Woman finishes tea.
Woman: I guess I should be going. I need to get to a casting in about 2 hours and my clothes…well, I gotta change!
Man: Of course.
Woman (picks up phone): I’ll call a cab. What’s your address?
Man: 224 4th Street. The crossroad is Santa Monica.
Woman: No kidding, I live around the corner. Well, I guess I can just walk home. I must have been pretty drunk last night not to remember this…
Man: So we are neighbors, ha?
Man: Coincidence. Anyway, if you wanna grab a coffee some time…
Woman: Sure, here’s my card.
Man: Cool. I’ll show you out.
He leads the way. Opens the door.
Woman: Bye, thanks for the tea.
Man: Sure, sorry about not having anything else. Bye.
As the woman walks out the man sees her dress tucked into her knickers. Is about to say something, but doesn’t know how to tell her. Closes the door.
EXT. Day Later, Street.
Woman walks down street. Men are stopping and staring.
Int. Day – later, woman’s hallway.
Woman opens door. Sees skirt in the mirror.
Woman: As if it could get any worse…
INT. Day – later, woman’s kitchen.
Woman is standing by her macbook, Facebook. Ready to leave, just putting down the last things in her handbag. Sees a video someone’s just posted. “Last Night At Lucy and Brad’s…a must see LOL” Clicks on it. The video shows the woman and the man playing various games.
Woman (sits down): OMG. OMG. I haven’t been that drunk since I was sixteen…
Woman talks to camera (something really indecent and embarrassing). Her friends are cheering on.
Woman: Oh no! No, no, no.
INT. Day – later. Casting.
Woman is waiting in a room. Reading her lines.
Casting Assistant: Michelle Holm
Walks towards the room. Freezes in doorway.
INT. Day – later. Casting.
The audition panel consists of three men. One of them the guy Michelle woke up with this morning.
Guy 1: Hey, come on in and let’s do the profile and hands first please.
Guy 2: So in this scene you are really drunk and really in love with that guy. Ted here will do the lines with you.
Ted: Hi again.
Guy 2: You know each other?
Pause. Everyone’s waiting for an explanation.
Guy 1: OK, let’s roll. Michelle, you start. Remember you are really drunk in scene. And Action.
INT. Bar. Night.
Michelle: So I totally like abs you know. Like abs are just my thing. (Realizes how stupid it sounds)
Michelle: I mean, you know…people that look after themselves.
Michelle: So you are a lawyer…what kind of law do you work with?
Ted: The American one.
Michelle: I just meant, entertainment, biz, that kind of thing…
Ted: Entertainment. It’s LA you know.
Michelle: Yeah, it would be entertainment, or divorces in this town eh? Hollywood and all that. So anyway, I’m an actress.
Ted: Go figure.
Michelle: Yeah, I have this part coming up in this series. I mean it’s on soon…I can’t tell you what happens though because of contracts, then I would break the law. You’d have to sue me. (laughs)
Ted: If you just excuse me, I have to go to the men’s room…
Guy 2: Cut. That was great guys!
Guy 1: Yes, only Ted in this scene you still need to be drooling over her hot looks…remember when you meet her a few weeks later and she is sober you actually end up liking her. Start off sitting a bit closer to her. (they move) Exactly, that’s it.
Guy 2: One more take then let’s wrap up for the day.
INT. Bar. Night. Later.
Still sitting as in scene that was just filmed. Things are being packed away around them.
Ted: I think we nailed this one.
Michelle: It was pretty good.
Ted: You…wanna grab a drink to celebrate?
Michelle: I’m not sure.
Ted looks awkward.
Michelle: I mean, how about a coffee? With our history, coffee might just be a safer bet.
Ted: Scared to get drunk?
Michelle: I never get drunk…just that one time.
Ted: Just that one time, eh?!
A collage of what happens during that night:
They are looking serious drinking coffee.
They are smiling drinking drinks.
They are laughing, dancing.
They are trying to get out of a cab.
They are lying in bed.
Michelle: You know, I have a feeling I might not remember this tomorrow.
Potentially this could be the start to a feature.