Disclaimer: inappropriate jokes about God (I think we came with a sense of humor for a purpose) and other profanities.
Maybe I should become a nun? That way I’d always get unconditional love, but I believe in monogamy and God seems to have a harem. It’s kind of like marrying a bottle of wine – you’ll get constant drunken happiness, but nothing much more. You can fall asleep next to the bottle, but it won’t hug you in the morning. It’s like marrying a police officer thinking you’ll be safe – well you’ll be safe from thiefs, but not from the officer himself. Who knows? He might be a criminal specializing in love affairs?
We have to know our priorities, or we will end up making love to the things we like, instead of what we would truly love…or we end up having sex instead of making love, even if it is love we seek…
I evaluated my life a little while ago and came to the conclusion that my career comes first. Doing what I love and making a good living from it, getting involved with charity work with kids in Africa and having enough time in my spare time to build my artistic portfolio – acting, directing, writing, photography. Second came finding love in my personal life and keeping up a good social environment. Thirdly came living somewhere I love, or at least spending a lot of time in a place I love. Having my priorities clear made making decisions and sticking to them very easy from then on (do not fall on your back for every random surfer you meet…if you are a man trying to stick to the making love thing: watch out for the playboy bunnies…I’ve heard they are tempting…).
Priorities is also about more simple things like where do I spend my leisure money and where would I love to spend them? What’s the things I enjoy the most? Do I save up for travels, buy Louis Vuitton (I stole my Louis Vuitton bag – someone had left it in a cupboard where I used to live…it’s more or less antique, but I love it…), spa days, exercise, eating out, etc. Dancing is high up on my list, the highest after social engagements with friends. So I’ll want to spend my money on dance classes, which means I will think twice before eating out from now on, or order something small.
We may not be able to have it all, but I think there is always a way of doing what you love one way or another. If you love to act you don’t have to be a Hollywood star, you can just put on a play. Everything takes a bit of creativity if you don’t have cash (well maybe not love…that seems to be free of cost) but it is possible if you are prepared to invest time and energy into it. Basically you just have to make it a priority.
Priorities change with the years – you may prioritize money now so you can go off and make a movie for a year, or spend more time with your family in the future. Just bear in mind also that life is in the now and you have to live it to the full in every moment, no matter what you choose to focus on.
Basically, priorities is a way of simplifying life and magnifying what you need to do when so that you have a chance of making love to life as often as possible.
Here is the process I used to get clear on career and I added a number of questions as I was coaching someone else regarding their career choice:
1) WHAT ARE YOUR MAIN PRIORITIES IN LIFE RIGHT NOW? WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO ACHIEVE?
LIST THEM, THEN ORDER THEM IN THE NUMBER OF IMPORTANCE TO YOU.
(EXAMPLES: GREAT HEALTH, MONEY IN THE BANK, A BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SPOUSE, SELF-CONFIDENCE, MOVING HOUSES, ETC…)
2) WHAT ARE YOUR VALUES IN LIFE? WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU IN LIFE?
(EXAMPLES: ADVENTURE, PLAYFULNESS, LOVE, JOY, SPIRITUALITY, FREEDOM, INTEGRITY, ETC…)
3) WHO ARE YOU COMMITTED TO BEING? IS THERE ANYTHING I NEED TO DO RIGHT NOW TO BE THAT PERSON ALWAYS?
(EXAMPLES: SOMEONE WHO ALWAYS DOES HIS/HER BEST WHILST LIVING A LIFE FILLED WITH PLAYFUL ADVENTURE, SOMEONE WHO IS ABSOLUTELY 100% DEDICATED TO MY PURPOSE IN LIFE WHILST STILL INCORPORATING A GREAT SOCIAL LIFE AND A LOVING RELATIONSHIP, SOMEONE WHO WITH INTEGRITY AND HONESTY LIVE EVERY DAY LIKE IT WAS THE LAST WITH NO REGRETS AND AN OPEN HEART, ETC….WRITE AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE, THEN YOU MAY FIND YOU CAN FIND A SHORTER PHRASE THAT SUMS IT ALL UP.)
4) WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THE THING YOU ARE DOING NOW CAREER WISE?
5) WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR CAREER NOW NOW?
6) WHAT’S YOUR EDUCATION?
7) WHAT DO YOU KNOW REALLY WELL? WHAT ARE YOU GOOD AT?
8) WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?
9) WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE THINGS TO DO/PASSIONS?
10) IF YOU WERE TO CELEBRATE YOUR 95TH BDAY, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR? WHAT WOULD YOUR SPEECH BE ABOUT? WHAT WOULD YOUR BEST FRIEND’S SPEECH SAY ABOUT YOU? WRITE BOTH SPEECHES – YOURS AND YOUR FRIEND’S!
11) WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN FIVE YEARS IF YOU KEEP GOING DOWN THE SAME PATH AS NOW (HONESTLY)?
12) WHAT’S GOOD WITH THAT?
13) WHAT’S BAD WITH THAT?
14) WHERE WOULD YOU TRULY LIKE TO BE?
15) WHAT WOULD YOU TRULY LOVE TO DO?
17) WHAT’S STOPPING YOU FROM DOING THAT RIGHT NOW?
18) HOW ARE YOU SPENDING YOUR TIME RIGHT NOW?
19) HOW SHOULD YOU BE SPENDING YOUR TIME RIGHT NOW TO ACHIEVE WHAT YOU TRULY WANT TO ACHIEVE?
20) WHAT COULD YOU BE DOING EVERY DAY TO MOVE IN THAT DIRECTION?
21) HOW CAN YOU TURN IT FROM DREAM TO REALITY?
22) WHAT ARE YOU NOW COMMITTED TO DOING TO GET TO WHERE YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO BE NOW?
23) GENERAL QUESTIONS YOU MAY WANT TO PONDER:
CASH – WHAT DO I EARN RIGHT NOW? HOW CAN I EARN MORE? WHAT DO I NEED TO DO TO BE ABLE TO SAVE UP MONEY TO INVEST/LEAD THE LIFE OF MY DREAMS? RIGHT NOW? IN 6 MONTHS? IN A YEAR? IN TWO YEARS? IN THREE YEARS?