Our ever so easy fuck…

OK, so the headline isn’t meant to read like that. It’s meant to say “our ever so easy frock” but dizzy here almost fell off the bed whilst reading it in an email, as of course I read it as the headline of this blog reads – in other words: our ever so easy fuck. If I can, I always put a fuck in the sentence, so the line didn’t shock me. The shock was that I thought my favorite interior decorating shop had put it in their headline. Anthropologie aren’t exactly known for their crazy headlines if you know what I mean.

The other day a bus had an ad on it that read “Dress to suit the town,” which I believed said “dress to shit the town.” I thought this a really weird ad, that’s why I looked twice and realized it was I that was weird, not the ad, which kind of sums up life right there: often life is beautiful, but our insides perceive it as anything but. That’s the spiritual lesson you get from seeing shit on the bus.

Now, of course I managed to draw some spiritual enlightenment from “our ever so easy fuck” as well. First of all I concluded fucks should be easy. In other words: don’t fuck fuck-nots. If there isn’t flow – if someone doesn’t love and adore you – fuck it. Don’t fuck them, fuck it.

Secondly, this reminded me of Branson’s “screw it let’s do it” – as an easy fuck means you just go for it, glide forward gracefully instead of getting stuck hiding.  You see, recently I’ve been reminded that life is this very moment. This very moment. And how I spend it is very important. It’s my life I’m spending. It’s not rich uncle Edward’s antique gold coins (if you know a rich uncle Edward, please tell him I’d love some gold coins), it’s my life. And my life is priceless. There is only one of me, which is why it’s priceless. You can’t exchange me. There is no substitute for me. I’m one hundred percent unique (at this point some people are sighing, wishing they could indeed exchange me, or get their money back – especially my dad who would like his money back for the years he kept this starving artist above starvation level) and my life is here and now – this is my only chance to spend it. It’s time to screw it and just fucking do it – stand up for myself and claim my birthright: the life of my dreams.

This came about partly because recently I did an intuitive exercise, a tune in, to reveal what was going on for me, and what I realized was that I was feeling ridiculous. I felt ridiculous for living my dreams – like I was this little girl in fairy tale land  (the land everyone used to tell me it was impossible to reach) and I was petrified people would ask me who the hell I think I am? Surely I’m just a silly dreamer and soon my dreams will crash around me and then everyone will laugh at my little invented fairy tale? What gives me the right to be so bloody happy? I’m not important enough to be that happy, am I? So instead of going full force forward claiming my dreams I got petrified and almost backed down. I was very far from “screw it let’s do it.” It was more like I was dressed to shit this town.

Looking at this I realized that I have been close to living my dreams before, but I have always backed down. As soon as someone doubted me, I doubted myself. I did not have the conviction to follow through. My companies are great proofs of this – I’ve been close to launch so many times and yet never done it.

I used to feel like a complete waste – people praised my talents wherever I went, but I always ended up working with something that did not serve my talents and made me feel miserable and inadequate. I had guys chasing me in every town, but never fell for anyone but the ones that didn’t want me. Time and time again I proved to myself how worthless I was. I was brave enough to do some things, like starting this blog, but crikey the book proposal for it has been sitting on my desk for A YEAR. I wrote it a year ago and never sent it. I felt it wasn’t perfect enough and now I’m a freelance writer but I only apply for the jobs I think I can get, not the ones I really want. Like my own published articles. Hallelujah.

I’m the kind of person that leaves a party if I sense someone dislikes me. I back down. I was going haywire for a while because some people did not agree with me mentoring/fostering the kids I now look after. It was my dream and yet I listened to them and question every blooming aspect of myself before saying yes to doing it. I know others will question the companies I want to launch. If I start dating someone, he will question me. That’s life. Every treasure comes with a threshold guardian and a few demons to boot.

I have been running around in circles for so long because I couldn’t stand facing other people’s dislike. I avoided dating, launching companies, publishing my book…I avoided truly pursuing what I loved, even if on the outside it looked like I was going for it. I never stood up for myself. I never told off the guys that messed me around, I never said I’m gonna launch my companies and publish my book so if it’s the last thing I do. I never showed up at a party feeling utterly pleased with myself, not caring what others thought of me. I just feverishly tried to make myself better so as to have everyone’s approval for everything. I mean it’s scary saying you will do something with the potentiality it will fail and all those non-believers will be having a party! But so what, then you learn and move on instead of regretting all the things you never did. Life is about exploring, not achieving. Of course you have to have the right purposes behind what you do and always question yourself, but that’s different from not believing in yourself.

A few years back I asked myself if I feared success and I thought I must, because I was already failing so that couldn’t be what frightened me. No, what frightened me was hearing others say how great I am and actually acknowledge it. Dare to believe in it. Not think they would turn around and start laughing and humiliating me two seconds later. I was scared of being exposed in the light. It was much easier hiding in the shadows.

I think it’s time for an ever so easy fuck, don’t you? I’ve been dressed to shit this town for way too long – hiding in my own shit and behind my ever so complicated fuck-nots. It’s time to shine my light. I feel ridiculous just saying that, but it really is time. Maybe I will stand up on my high heels and fall straight into a duck pond (that was blocking the road, clearly) classic blondie style, but if I do, then I want to do so in the light, enjoying my splashing. Enjoying living life to the full – experiencing all it has to offer. Besides, what could be sexier than a blonde in a duck pond…erm…a blonde proudly walking with her head up into a party?

Freedom!

My love, the shadow that touches the flame…

Sometimes I hear you speak to me. Words echoing somewhere, just out of reach. Glimpses of light, fractured memories spin by like a carousel. I get that awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach, as if love sick. That longing, that sense of elevation…like flying and at the same time a melancholic sadness, like the unfulfilled lover. Waiting. Hoping. Praying that one day our roads will meet again.

I remember you as someone who used to fill me with fire. All my artistic dreams came to light. I would wander the streets, pen and poetry book in hand. Page after page would be filled with caffeine covered notes of beauty, mingled with my own inner pain. Everything was a little bit shattered. It was that pain I could never shake, the pain that made me fear my own pursuit. I had the fire. I had the desire. I just lacked the clarity, the knowledge, but I tried. I really went for it. That’s when I realized that beneath the fire was that pain, that insecurity and everything I did was tainted by it. The fire kind of got subdued. I censored myself. Artistic expression became about perfection, about following rules and guidelines. Sure enough some of those guidelines gave me so much – I created things I came to love, things I was truly proud of. I gained the knowledge. Yet I had let go of that sense of complete abandon. Of fully giving of myself. Like when I used to wander those streets.

Sometimes a street light, or the sight of a perfectly yellow lemon will take me right back. I’m once more where I belong, walking those streets, poetry book in hand. Everything I see is filled with beauty – I search for beauty in everything; in smells, tastes, sounds…and life is blissful. I’m immersed in the art of life and my creative juices are overflowing. Everything I see adds another piece to the puzzle. Everything I hear brings me one step closer to completing a script, a poem, an artwork… Around me answers are swirling in the air like leaves in autumn. Everything is there to help me create my art, like a giant jigsaw puzzle I’m gathering one piece after another. One step closer to fulfilling the dream of completing another project.

I’m allowing myself to create again. Stains of red wine next to my laptop. Delirious words flying by. This blog is no longer just about sexy confessions, sexy life lessons with a twinkle in their eye…ever so often I take a break from those and I play. Words enchant me and I let them. The garlic bread and the wine…I’m suddenly eleven years younger and I’m walking the streets of Paris with a dream in my hand.

I still dream. The dancers at the Moulin Rouge are still as colorful as they were when I left Sweden all those years ago. When I dreamt of a bohemian revolution, of beauty, truth, freedom and love…when I took my backpack and left and ended up in Paris. The sunrise by the Seine, the artist studios in Montmartre…every part of the city touched me with her beauty, every part made me ache and wonder.

I can feel you again, your streets so filled with beauty. The streetlights that would fill the night with magic. How you inspired me! How every step I took felt like I was lost in an artwork, or in my own dream. And then as I kept pursuing my dreams everyone congratulated me on one school after another, one city after another. London, Los Angeles, Cape Town…but somewhere along I died. I started believing I’d never come to accomplish anything. That I would be stuck doing something other than what I trained in. The irony in following your dream to become an artist.

A light flickers in the night. A wind caresses my ear. I can hear you speak to me. Soft words. A soft welcome back. Back to the core. To who I always was. Without the pain. Without the destruction.

I remember sitting in our first flat…I was writing on my laptop. The laptop suddenly died, although the battery was full. The lights were flickering. My flatmate was talking about writing erotica as a means of survival as a writer and I laughed. I was so filled with youthful enthusiasm. I told her our flat would be put on the map. A tourist destination. We would become famous. I believed in my dreams, but fame was a false dream, my heart was the true dream. I loved the artistic life. The feeling of living the dream, but as youthful fools do they pursue before they are ready, they start feeling ashamed for having listened to the ego as much as the heart and then they lose the fire as challenges extinguish the flames…just like my laptop died. Just as the lights flickered. A ghost? A story foretold?

I’m sitting by my laptop writing at night. The can can girls still dance. The creperies are all still there. Paris’ streets look the same. With my eyes I seek out the angles for the camera. My heart dreams the same dreams. Nothing’s changed, but everything is different. And from the wilderness in Africa you can hear a different roar…

Naked in the night…

You close your eyes and you find yourself standing naked in the night. It’s only you and the night sky. Stars twinkling, moonbeams caressing your body. A moment of relaxation. Eyelids fluttering. Enter dreamland.

Dreams haunt you. Maybe that’s why they are called dreams? Because whenever you close your eyes they are there. Like a whisper. Like a soft-spoken voice from far, far away. You run. You move countries. You start all over again. But the minute you close your eyes, they are there.

They don’t leave you, because they have taken up permanent residence in your heart. Like your pulse you can always feel them. They are pumped around your bloodstream as much as any mineral you are made of. They are you. And like a crayon in your hand they are waiting for your expression. The crayon won’t ask you to draw for others, or become an image that’s better than you can paint. The crayon will simply ask you to express yourself. To love your own creation. To live the love you create, to create the love you live.

As sure as the sun will rise, as sure the dreams will be there just waiting for you to wake up and realize them. Dreams don’t leave you. And not unlike ghosts they will haunt you until the day you face them. Until the day you open your eyes and look them in the face. Acknowledge them. Look at them until you realize they are you.

Dreams are regrets until they are realized. They will not leave you alone. All they are asking for is your courage. Your courage to realize them. You see, dreams don’t care if they don’t happen quite the way they were planned. All dreams care about is to be acknowledged and treasured. Not unlike that treasure map you find in an old chest, dreams are waiting for you to find them in your heart and start walking towards their realization. The day you start that path, that’s the day you start your adventure. And they will smile with you. Sing softly in your ear. Hug you in your dreams. You will find peace again.

As you act out your dreams weird things happen. It’s as if you are finally you. As if the person you are looking at in the mirror has gone from being a puppet to a puppeteer. It came alive. It’s is creating instead of being created. It’s broken free to live its heart.

When you look at the stars at night and wonder what’s out there, the dreams are whispering “it’s about what’s in there.” Your heart beats and if you are lucky you will listen to your own heart beat and in it you will find a strange peculiar rhythm. Your heart rhythm. And as the night covers your body in its dizzying allure you might start swaying to the music. Softly, as you close your eyes, you will find what it was you were looking for. There, inside your heartbeat is the dream you tried to find. The music of your mind.

This picture was stolen from my favorite illustrator’s website…Delphine Lebourgeois.

Hands down your pants…

Want some hands in your pants ladies and gents? Well it’s NYE, time to get naughty…

Seriously speaking it is time to get naughty – it’s time for new year’s resolutions – whether the ones you intend to keep, or break. Personally I aim for no fear. That means I will probably break my vow at least ten times a day when I chicken out on things, but it also means that I will watch my thoughts and see when something comes in to stop me from what I would love. Because it’s all about what we would love by the end of the day (I mean really – your resolutions are to do what you love, or create what you love, or be whom you love being) and if you aren’t doing it, chances are you have some fear around it. Fear you might not even realize you have – most of the stuff controlling our behavior isn’t conscious until you stop and really think about what you are thinking about…

I don’t think it’s about curing fear either, I think it’s about hanging with the tension and instead of avoiding something, or forcing yourself to do it pretending to be cool, being vulnerable to your own fear and doing it without forcing. Can’t really explain it, but if you force you usually put something on top. Ever tried “impressing” instead of just sharing of yourself, of your heart and what you are good at? Or even if it’s your first ever dance class and you aren’t good at, just relaxing and having fun? Living your heart in other words. I’m making a movie about this next year…a dance movie. Now that’s a dream come true.

So what would I love? I would love to live my dreams, that’s what I would love. And I would love to share those dreams with those I love. I don’t want to blog about all of them right now…I really just feel like sitting down and sharing them with those I love, but man, family, writing and making movies would probably sum them up. Oh and creating a life in Cape Town…I’m still new in town so it will take a while, but buying a car next week will make things a lot easier.

Feel free to share your resolutions with me…the world…your loved ones, or just your own heart! Happy New Year folks – may it bring you the life your heart truly dreams of and lots of love in every area of your life!!! Go create magic!!! Cheers!!!

If your thoughts wander and your hands don’t follow, are you living your dreams???

Mistakes and miracles…

I had a dream tonight. A really naughty dream. You know those dreams that are so vivid that even when you wake up you are insanely happy? Well, I dreamt I was making out with Jared Leto…I never dream of making out with celebrities, but let me tell you – this dude is hot. And he was amazing.

Sometimes dreams foretell things right? Not least because it shows our state of mind. So I’m thinking this means I will get to make out with gorgeous man, who is super cuddly, open, intimate and has a voice like an angel. preferably he also play the acoustic guitar, but that would just be a plus.

In all seriousness to me Jared Leto represents LA, a place I love, and doing what I love, because he’s in the movies/entertainment industry. And I am so much looking forward to going to Cape Town and work with C.A.R.E.S. and my venture  The Wandering Tales on movie and theatre projects that incorporate community work and drug rehabilitation.  It rings so true to me I start crying every time I speak about it (that is I feel I could cry…I rarely ever proceed to crying…apart from when I first got the job – I cried for an hour). You see, my whole life I wanted to work with people and I was set to become a doctor (and go on adventures, working with kids in places like…Africa) before I decided to go with the arts and become a director, but I never felt entirely fulfilled. When I mix the working with people aspect with the film and theatre aspect…I just…even writing this, I got moist eyes. I love it so, so much.

At the same time going to Cape Town scares the shit out of me (Swedish expression…don’t know if it translates), because let’s face it: I don’t know. I don’t know how anything out there will go. I don’t even have an online job yet so as to be able to support myself, but I will make it. I may go there and hate it though. I doubt it, but there is a chance. Or maybe I will love it for a while and then head home to LA, or France. Who knows? My intuition tells me to go and that I will live there, but who knows? Who knows anything?

We just have to follow our hearts and do what we would love and I would love to go to Cape Town. The adventure is this: what you think one day is a miracle, looking back may be seen as a mistake and what you think to be a mistake may one day be seen as a miracle.

Life is a lot about following your heart and enjoying the journey. About exploring and learning. Where it takes us…who knows? But I want to enjoy the ride as much as I can. I am quite a determined soul once I get my heart, or mistakenly: head, into something, but I don’t want to live my life getting stuck on things and getting angry with obstacles. If I in the end couldn’t go to Cape Town, then I would have to find another way of doing what I love. I doubt very much that I won’t go, because I am putting all my creative juices into going (I have worked so much on it this week I’ve hardly slept). What I am trying to say is just: life is a combo of mistakes and miracles, one leading to the other. The more we learn, the more we know what we love and the more grounded and in tune we are with mother nature, the easier it gets…but relax and enjoy the ride, because it will be a ride. You can get yourself worked up about all the problems along the way, or you can just deal with them with love in your heart. For example it’s taken me a lot longer to get everything ready for Cape Town than I thought and I can either get really worked up about it, or use my time wisely, relaxing and enjoying what I’m doing. I’ve made mistakes that I can turn into miracles.

Life is the adventure when you go for what you love. Life is the miracle. But that miracle is filled with mistakes, that will then turn into miracles…

Laters. I need a miraculous breakfast now. Oh and Jared Leto. Naked…

Some men are such a delicious mistake…some chocolate cakes too…

Strip off…a naked sense of play with the lions and lionesses…

I’m starting to feel quite naked these days…and I’m also starting to sense the lioness inside me roar. The eagle take flight. The owl of wisdom gently whispering advice. I’m starting to feel ready to play. Play fiercely and wisely, but most of all: play. A naked sense of freedom is coming over me.

I was looking at the photo from yesterday’s blog, the photo of the lion, and an array of thoughts entered my mind. You see, I get completely lost in that photo – it must be one of the most beautiful photos I’ve ever come across. I absolutely love it. I can literally just sit and stare at it. As I was looking at it, it occurred to me that maybe one of the things I am so drawn to is the almost human look on his face. As if I can see a person in there, or an animal with human characteristics. Other photos I looked at when searching for lions included the same and I thought that maybe what we look for in animals is proof that they too have emotions. That they too love. And when we see love, we love….and that’s the most magical state of being there is.

Secondly, and this thought really struck me, there are these majestic, magical animals and what do we do? We put them in cages and teach them tricks. In the wild they run like the wind, they perform incredible feats, they play, they display their majesty…and we put them in a cage and teach them 1+1=2 by pressing some buttons with their paws? God must be laughing.

Thirdly, I was thinking that what we do to lions is what we do to ourselves. We get a job in a cubicle somewhere, or we spend our lives coming up with “the next big thing” so we can get rich and successful and get a different cubicle – one made of glass and stainless steel. And maybe that’s life. Maybe if we couldn’t do that we would still be having to plough farmland in Siberia. I guess I just think one should be aware that we have made up society and where you want to keep your focus is up to you. You can devote your life to come up with the next great app, or you can raise your kids on a farm, picking strawberries and watching the stars at night…and maybe there you will be inspired to come up with an app for helping people find their heart’s desire, without you even having to try. Or maybe people already know. Naturally.

I love technology. I love that we hunger for knowledge and development and I am in awe of Apple and their apps. I love all that. I just think one should learn to question and think for oneself. Because I’m not really sure if guns, or bombs improved humanity, or if where people tell you to focus your energy is necessarily the best place to focus it.

I think if I can dance, make movies and theatre performances, work with people and live in a natural house say somewhere in the hills outside Cape Town, or LA, with my family…I think I would be happy. I don’t think a Mercedes, or a Hollywood contract would do that much for me. I’d love to spread my work if there’s an audience that would love to receive it…I’d love to have money so I can live without worries…but I get happy from staring at a black and white photo of a lion. I get happy typing my blogs. I don’t need to chase cubicles, I need to live my heart, but I used to feel really bad about it…because I used to think I was a failure because my heart rather go on an adventure, than stick with one job, follow the normal path and gain secure money and sure as hell that would have made me a lot more money…but I would never have seen the Hollywood Hills at sunset, whilst writing this blog. And words can’t describe how much I love that place and this blog. I thought chasing my dreams made me unhappy as it was so unsettling, but really what made me unhappy was thinking of what others thought of me for doing it. For being a gypsy, an artist, a hippie dreamer (who loves Louis Vuitton). And I was also very scared I’d never succeed and be forced to do work I hate for the rest of my life. But there are ways around everything if you just stop focusing on the traditional path and start making up your own.

I have a right. I am entitled to live as I choose. To explore what I love. Unlike those lions we have caged, I am free.

Who wants to play?

A dragon, or a fierce lover??? You choose…

Today I’m going to talk about dragons and fairy tales, but bear (I always write bare…it’s the nature of the blog…baring ones soul, or else I just talk about sex too much, but I prefer the first explanation…) with me as there is a point and I haven’t just lost my head to a Prince Charming…

So about dragons: Sometimes I think the fairy tales about women in towers guarded by dragons are simply women guarded by their own dragon, trained to keep evil at bay, but by now mistaking everything for evil. Hence, only the man who silences the dragon wins the heart. Sadly if this is the case, anyone with force can enter. A real woman controls her own dragon – opening the gates to the man who will respect her heart and whose heart she respects. Of course any man wanting to enter will have to fight the dragon though, if so just for a while to prove himself worthy of the heart. Men sometimes get confused and start fighting for any heart they can’t have, so you have to make sure he’s really fighting for you. In other words: give him a run for his money.

We all have dragons in our heart in one way or another – they sit there moaning about the bad, fearing the good in case it isn’t good enough and generally trying to protect us from everything by warning us about one hundred and one different things at the same time. They are the what ifs and the watch outs and the buts (I could have that hot butt, but…). They distract us from everything and stop us from enjoying what could have been, had we allowed it.

It’s so easy to think what if? When you aren’t involved in something you think what if that would have been the solution? When you are involved in something you think what if things go wrong? And when things go wrong, because they always do to some extent, you have to know you really want to be there and happily work to sort it out. This is where many people get lost – they move from one thing to another, because as soon as they hit a wall, they leave. Or they simply never get involved enough in the first place to stay – they never allow themselves to love and let go, so they never feel a deep attachment and the glorious happiness that comes when you love like a fool. And “like a fool” simply because you have given up every reservation and completely dedicated your heart…only it feels more like you opened it and magic happened.

A healthy, happy person knows that if something crashes and burns, they will rise from the ashes. They are willing though, after looking at something with an open heart listening to the wisdom of the heart, to invest their all should the investment be wise. They know that they have the go ahead from their heart, not from an over excited state of mind, so they are at peace investing themselves.

When wise people immerse themselves in something, they do so without losing their head and their footing in the world. They are not a teenager in love, but they love as fiercely as a teenager would, with the heart and soul of an adult. They know things can go wrong and they will come out OK should that be the case, but their focus, once invested, is on the good and how to continuously build that.

To let go and fully enjoy something; to learn to build the positive aspects of whatever it is, is a true gift and it means that you fully embrace what you have. You start enjoying it. You start putting in a positive effort to make it even better. You get excited when there is a problem, because there will be a thrill solving it. Things may still go wrong to the point where you know it’s time to quit and hell, it’s 2012 – the whole world might go under, but to know if it could work, you have to give your all.

Commitment sounds boring. I think it sounds terribly boring in fact. To me it sounds much better to say: I have a dream. If you have a dream to set up a company, to have great loving passionate relationship, to build a house, to do whatever it is you want to do…then you have to give your all for it to work. You decide that’s what it is you are going to do, then you leave the reservations somewhere else and give your heart and soul to the project at hand. It will grow exponentially because all of you and all your love is invested in it. If you say you’re gonna give it a go and stir it with your pinkie whilst thinking about everything that could go wrong and all the other things you could be doing, all the other wo/men you could be shagging…it won’t have a chance. You will never feel the joy of it overtaking your heart. Of it building until it becomes the most fabulous thing. Of it making you extraordinarily happy.

It’s really quite weird, because to go for anything is a sacrifice, because you leave everything else, at the same time, without making that sacrifice you will never achieve the greatness of love.

For anything in your life to happen, unless it’s something you are forced into, you have to allow it. In fact, even if you are forced into something, it will never make you happy, unless your heart and soul accepts it. Sometimes, a bit of a force though, shocks the system and you open the gates involuntarily, but you can’t hope that someone will steal your heart, or force you to build your dream. If you want something, you tame your own dragon and get ready to fight all the other people’s dragons you will meet along the way. There’s a thrill in fighting for your dream, you just have to decide it’s worth the fight and be open enough to know when it’s time to quit, should it not be the right fight you’re fighting.

Go on gladiators….attack!!!!!

I think I choose the fierce lover over the dragon…don’t you?

Bottom down vs. tits up…

There are a few things in life that can go tits up if you don’t get to the bottom of them, so to speak. In fact for most things I believe you should put your bottom down firmly, but to do so you need a firm ass.

Essentially, to get a firm bottom, I believe there are three questions you need to ask yourself to work the right muscles:

Whom would I truly love to be?

What would I truly love to do?

Whom do I truly love?

If you ask yourself these questions every morning you will spend the rest of the day shaking that ass of yours to your own rhythm, following your own heart. You gotta move baby, but you gotta move in harmony with that bottom of yours…because the true foundation is all in a firm ass…

Sad be the day when I am not thinking of those I love, sending them my prayers. Sad be the day when I do not dance in harmony with those I love. Sad be the day when I do not dance with those I love at all. Sad be the day when I do not move to the beat of my own drum, following my heart. Sad be the day when my steps disagree with my heart. Sad be the day when I do not create choreographies I love. Sad be the day when the dance is not one I love. Sad be the day when the steps I take are not those written in my heart. Joyous be the day when my heart is the leader and I the partner, swirling through life in a most beautiful dance. Joyous be the day when I love.

Living ‘the tease’ in striptease…

Some dreamers do. That make them stand out from those that only dream. I was writing this in response to some Jared Leto blog yesterday that I stumbled across on Facebook. He had written a few words about Jobs. Having written that I dropped my Blackberry into my tea and realized it was time to get an iPhone. The funny thing is I told my biz partner I will get it as soon as we set up our bank account so that I can get it through the business. This means I now have to make sure that the bank account gets up and running immediately. My ten pound phone that will be the BB replacement for now is truly horrendous. There are a lot of other things I also have to tend to. There are a lot of things to do to make the dream come true. And it’s easy to get side-tracked when you are tired and working on a million other things, just to make life go round. That’s why you need inspiration that’s stronger than your wish to sit on your ass. That’s why it’s important to look at people like Jobs, because they inspire you and their path gives you ideas of how to walk yours. They give you the courage to go beyond your inhibitions and make your fantasies a reality.

And I’m not talking about making millions, that’s a by-product if you are lucky, I’m talking about living your dream every single day. Making your dream come alive. Making your state of mind that of a pursuer, an adventurer, one who lives life to the full. Right now. This moment.

Thanks to those that makes the world a better place to be by making their dreams come true and living every day like it were their last. Those that share their passion with the world at large and those they care for. Those that say “I love you” to their life and their loved ones every day. Those that dare to not only dream, but do.

Don’t just tease – live the tease…

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” — Steve Jobs

Entering through the back door…

So many people are on about success – success up my ass (actually, that would be considered a success to some…apologies all you that are prim and proper). OK…so maybe I’m overreacting, but I’m tired of people hunting success in ways that are harmful for them.

First of all what is success? Is it achieving top results compared to others, or yourself, in every area, or is it to be happy with every area of your life? Most people say they want to do this that or the other, but usually they are wanting to do/achieve something because they think it will bring them happiness. This is where things get iffy. It’s extremely nice to make progress in every area of your life, but if the need to make progress comes from a sense of lack, you will never be happy.

I heard a story the other week. A friend of mine talked about some movie where a coach was training someone for the Olympics (or similar). When the student said “I will do this. I will win. I need to win.” The coach said: “No. If you need to win, you aren’t yet ready for winning. It’s only when you don’t need it that you are ready for it.”

To go for success for success’ sake is like entering through the wrong door – your goal might be great but the entry point isn’t. (I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with back doors in general btw…).

If you want to succeed at anything I don’t think it has all that much to do with not fearing money, running towards riches instead of away from poverty, thinking rich people are bastards and so on… I believe it’s quite simple: love yourself and you will feel deserving of all good and have proper confidence in yourself no matter what shit hits the fan. Moreover you will feel that others deserve all good. Plus you won’t be petrified someone will kick you off your throne, as your throne is in your heart. Basically, you won’t have fears attached to either succeeding, or failing!

Go get your goals – just don’t be attached to them – make sure you live for the sake of living enjoying all the twists and turns along the way…and the odd back door, or at least: rear view…

Ralph Gibson, Leda