I’ve heard that if you want a good Valentine’s day you have to serve your man a steak and give him a blow job the day before.Then you are guaranteed at least some roses. Now, sometimes it isn’t just blow jobs that blow men’s minds (thankfully – would give you a sore jaw if it was, wouldn’t it?!?!!), nor roses that blow women’s (there are many more imaginative gifts, if you are gift giving inclined). In each person we love, whether friend, lover, or other, we find something unique, something that, literally, blows our mind, so if it’s just their kindness or their genuine smile.
I was walking to the tube the other night, head banging after a day at work, tired, hungry and on a mission to go to Ikea. Suddenly I had this flashback of walking down a street in Sweden, on my way to meet my gran and I missed her so much tears threatened to well up. I guess it was the need for comfort, care and love that suddenly overtook me and my gran has always been the closest person to me in many ways. Just as I was overwhelmed by a wave of self-pity this plastic bag came flying level with people’s faces, making them react in various ways. It reminded me of the movie American Beauty - it was such a playful and beautiful moment and I thought to myself “Gran would have liked that.” Suddenly I was smiling instead of crying.
To this day I miss having a mother’s figure – I miss having someone I can call and just really know is always there for me as a pillar of support, of unconditional love and caring. Someone who pours me hot chocolate and gives me a hug. Someone who just says it’s OK and I’m great no matter what. Someone who pampers me mentally as well as physically I suppose and not because I’m going through a crisis, or having a problem of some sort but just because.
Of course I have my dad, but I’m happy to say he’s a man. He has a wicked sense of humor and will help me sort out almost anything with his business like and down to Earth approach to life (he’s a funny combo of a sailor and a business man), but if you want someone just to tell you you are great, forget it. My dad will list all potential problems and good things, and tell me to sort it out (and if not I will get a long lecture on responsibility. He loves to lecture me. Give him five minutes and he will give a speech worthy of the President. In fact it’s probably better.). He kicks my butt in other words. He taught me independence and gave me a fighter spirit and he is thankfully a very good chef and can run a household seamlessly, so I have hope for the male population in general, just not their pampering abilities. I really hope I will meet a man who knows how to pour hot tea though. Hell, imagine coming home and being looked after from time to time. I think I’d even agree to sex after that. Ha.
Anyway, there are days when we all feel like we could do with a hug and there is absolutely no one around to hug us (or no one we feel like hugging – there are always Tits-Herberts lurking about and any opportunity given they will squeeze your tits…or well, in my case it would be my ass because I doubt they’d find my tits even if they were looking for them. Especially not if they are nearsighted. And then there are the “I am certain we are perfect for each other you just haven’t realised” it types too. No, no and no.). Therefore it’s super important to remember all the people who would have hugged you if they were there. To remember their energy. Their love and the lessons they taught us are always with us. Even their sense of humor, or their appreciation for something that we can now appreciate just because they taught us how to. Above and beyond anything – to know how much love you yourself carry within you. Love is everywhere – we just have to remember to feel it. And for the love of God – do give your man a blow job whilst you still can – you never know how much time you will have with someone. Do your very best to enjoy and relish in every moment, pampering them as much as you can and giving them the freedom and support to grow to become the most they can ever be. Your love, after all, is the most precious thing you have to offer. Be generous.