Have you ever had that thought? That fear? You see someone you care about and you know you might never see them again? And you want to shake the world and scream…you feel like a three year old throwing a tantrum. Because you don’t want them to die.
I don’t want my friend Tony to die. I have seen him shaking and shivering for a year from cancer and I’ve read up about every cancer cure on the planet. I’ve helped where I could with foods and what have you, but I’ve also been busy with my own life. Sometimes that plagues me, together with everything else in the township that I can’t fix with a magic wand, but whenever it’s plagued me the most, he’s always sent some note via Liezl thanking me for all my help. We all had a very difficult year last year and the news about Tony was part of it. And I don’t want him to die. He has two young kids, he’s a caring father and partner and he always sorts my car out. Which in and of itself has been a life insurance for me as my car has a mind completely of its own.
I’m angry. I work in a township where people steal, rape, fight and even murder. Tony is a mechanic with two kids and his partner is one of the teachers at Little Angels who work for $50 a month to make the world a better place. And cancer had to take Tony. Why? Why not the thieves and the murderers?
Last week someone broke into Tony and his family’s shack and stole their only heater and some food. Thankfully the police found the heater, but you wonder what ass could do something like that? It must be someone who knew the heater was there. Someone who likely knew Tony was sick. Someone who knew they couldn’t make money and still they’d steal from them.
Thankfully a friend of mine on Facebook read my blog last week about Tony and his family and they decided to help out. As a result we can now buy him food and fix a leak in their very, very cold place. It was leaking into their beds. We’re making a video on Wednesday so as to try and raise some more money and also so that the kids can have it, should we loose him. He got very, very sick last week and we thought we might loose him then. He survived and I’m very thankful he did as the little support my friend gave the family has already made him feel better. At least he knows his family will be dry.
I saw Tony today, just briefly because I was in my car and stopping traffic to say hello to him. And I had this fear, this paranoia that I’d drive off and never see him again. I’d just been hugging his kids moments before as they were down at Little Angels. And he told me he thought he was dying last week and I told him he gave us all a scare and joked about my car. We decided to shoot the video on Wednesday and then I drove off. Hoping Wednesday would not be too far away.
We have another teacher at Little Angels with breast cancer. She beat it once before and just now had surgery. And sometimes I think the world is mad. And unfair. And cruel. As a spiritual person I believe we all return to each other. I believe life can be seen as a gift we know will come to an end, for this time round. But there are days when I don’t understand why animals were made to eat animals, or why wars and disease exist. And I don’t want Tony to die.
By the end of the day it’s a choice we make how we see things, and there’s a possibility to find peace in everything, but that doesn’t stop you from sometimes wishing for a miracle. Or bawling your eyes out.
Tony’s kids today. In the township many kids wear bathrobes and onesies on top of clothes to starve off the cold.
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