Something I realised last week is that disappointment always stings like hell. And at first it’s easy to get angry, sad, frustrated, or heartbroken (depending on the situation). We’re seemingly wired to want quick solutions.
Like last week someone told me they couldn’t do some of my financial projections any longer due to some other client needing their time. They’d said yes to doing them two weeks earlier and I needed them asap. I got angry, because I’d slaved to get the numbers ready so I could get someone to edit them and spruce it up a bit as soon as possible. And there I was two weeks later with nothing. I knew I had to start all over again with finding someone new for the numbers and receiving them that week was no longer going to happen. Likewise, I spoke to someone about being the COO for flipping three months and it didn’t work out. Did I feel like I’d had my time wasted? You have no idea.
I was really frustrated last week because the sooner I have the numbers, the sooner I can do various things and I soon leave for the US and have meetings I wanted to get done before leaving. I had perceived pressure.
So my first impulse was anger fueled by disappointment.
Of course I realized straight away that anger was futile. I thought I might as well just crack on with finding someone new. I might end up with someone better. And I did find someone, of course. If they’re better I don’t know. What I do know is that business is about playing the cards you’re dealt. Business is filled with obstacles. All the time. The fun is partly finding solutions. I like that game, but when I really count on something to happen and I believe I will get a pay off from it, I too get frustrated. And right now I have pretty much my whole life invested in my business.
Life is ever changing. We want the guy, the job, the investment, the whatever to work out. We want it so that our dreams come true. So that we can live the life we dream of. But these things often take turns we never could have predicted. As a result we either enjoy the journey moving forward, or we get stuck in not so pleasant emotions surrounding events we perceive as negative in the current moment. And it’s not always that it’s something like one event, sometimes we are seemingly surrounded by things that don’t seem so nice. You need to learn to see that from a perspective too. If there is one thing working in a township and helping with the twins have taught me it’s that. If I’d allow myself to get caught up in what’s happening around me I’d be suffering constantly. I fell for that trap last year and have spent the past six months trying to see what I give, not what I can’t change.
It’s a real art to be able to move forward happily at all times. Especially when you feel pressure around something. But no matter how real that pressure is, there’s always something beyond it. You might lose your job because someone else fucked up. You might lose an investment. You might lose a guy because you screwed up. You might lose a lot of things. But there is something beyond that. Maybe something better. Maybe some struggle before you reach that something better. We don’t know. I’ve heard a lot of people say “there’s a meaning with it” when they fuck up their life in the same way they’ve been fucking it up for the past twenty years, living out the same patterns. We need to stop and evaluate. Sometimes we have to make changes. We also need to stop weaving negative meaning into things though. Bad things are not necessarily as bad as they seem. Tomorrow you might score platinum after losing gold today. It’s just you don’t feel that yet. So you’re not happy yet.
Something I learnt in my teens when some law was changed and I was refused entry to the high school program I wanted because of it, is that when a door closes a window is opened. I chose a different program. The laws were then changed again, but I stuck with the International Baccalaureate. And today I live the international life I chose back then. I loved the IB. They had way too little arts in my school, but it was the first time I felt I was in a place were I belonged. Amongst the international ones.
So remember, even when you lose what you hold dearest, there will be a tomorrow. Just like there was a yesterday when you hadn’t even met what you came to hold dearest. Love in all shapes and forms (jobs, people, situations) is everywhere. If you only open your window to it.
Image Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/507780926714436912/