So to be honest, this (blogging) still scares me…it’s just me right, I say what I think in the way that I would like to say it (as non-PC as possible…). It’s just…I never really published my diary before. Only my best friend has ever read it (she thought it was boring, go figure – she already has to put up with me 24/7!).
The funny thing is: this is me. I am no different from yesterday (not much at least). It won’t make me different because I publish my thoughts. The only difference is that people can now read them. And some might not like them. I mean not strangers, but some of my friends (the ones that actually bothered to check this thing out).
Why this would make me nervous is bizarre – if they don’t like my thoughts they don’t really like me anyway, whether I speak them out loud or not, it’s just they didn’t know that before and nor did I. Now I will truly find out whether they dig my personality, or just my neat presentation of it (or my short skirts…). I guess there is also a possibility that some people will like me better. The cool thing is though – now they really will like or dislike me for who I am (at least as much as I managed to reveal on this page…).
Even though I’m scared of revealing the real me, the truth is I live with myself. Every moment I am creating me. If there was something about me I didn’t like, I would have to change that. If someone else doesn’t like me, that’s too bad, especially if I like them, but the fact is that I am not prepared to change myself for their sake. Sure there are things I am working on. Sure I have issues. I don’t want to be someone else though, not at all. And I will have to learn to live with having people dislike me. In a not too distant past I would have done anything to suck up to someone who didn’t like me. Because I wanted to be liked. Now…I just want to be me and be liked or disliked for that person.
Here I get to express myself and hopefully learn from it – some of my ideas are probably up the walls, but if I don’t share them I will never get any feedback. Feedback gives us an opportunity to grow. And who knows, I might actually help someone along the way? (That is to say when I’m not blogging about why women love bad boys…) In either case, my dream is and has always been to share my thoughts with others, whether that is through filmmaking, writing, or running companies that are putting forward my ideas. So finally, I am living my dream, no matter how much I feel like Bambi on very thin ice right now 🙂
So here’s my promise: I promise to post at least one honest, non-politically correct and hopefully funny, or insightful post a day. So if it’s only that I have to say that the new 30 Seconds To Mars song is an absolute “must hear”… (that’s the honest bit, what’s funny, non-politically correct or insightful about that I don’t know…but here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMX3qv1N37s ). And a very frightened me is making a toast to this – Cheers! 🙂