I found a song…

So I have been absolutely obsessed with Kings + Queens by 30 Seconds To Mars since I stumbled across it last week. This amazes me, because it was a loooong time since I found a new song that I like that much and it makes me quite happy, because someone out there managed to create something I love. Without that person/those people I wouldn’t have that experience. It’s rather beautiful, isn’t it?

When I hear a song I love, lyrics I like, when I see a performance I enjoy, a film I marvel at, when I read a poem I adore, a book I devour…when I feel that somehow someone is portraying life the way I see it, or they open my eyes to something I was looking for, then I long to talk to the person(s)…  I guess I’d like to get to know them because I believe they’d see me. Not just throw a glimpse in my direction, but truly see me. Understand me. I think that’s what we all long for, isn’t it? To be truly understood. And maybe also to understand.

I’ve always been the odd one out. For a while I tried dying my hair red to prove it, but I came to the conclusion I was just as bad as someone always wearing label clothes – I was trying to distinguish myself. Show that I did not belong to a certain group of people and that I belonged to another (the misfits, rebels, crazy ones, bohemians, what have you). I also came to realize that even the ones that were so different from me, in the ground and bottom (as we say in Sweden) are just the same. We are people.

We were born into this life as human beings you and me. We were, if you so like, an empty slate, or a piece of clay. Then life formed us. Some grew up to certain beliefs, others to other beliefs. It’s almost like we were an empty bowl and then life got poured into us. Our bowl keeps getting filled up as we age. The more filled up we get with ideas and concepts, the blinder we get. We judge instead of look. Not consciously so much as unconsciously (anyone read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, or just about anything by a good mentalist?). We see someone and we like them, or dislike them. We like a piece of clothing, a place, a thing, or we don’t like it. Most of us don’t really stop and ask ourselves why – we  just judge. Depending on which side of the border we were born, we are fighting a different war.

As a kid I used to feel sad because I felt hollow. I kept thinking: “all I am are my actions and I can choose how to act, so all I am is nothing.” This used to upset me, but now it quiet excites me, because at least potentially I have a choice – potentially I can choose what I want to have in my bowl. Maybe there are certain attributes I was born with. Maybe it’s in my genes to paint and dance and write and make movies and run businesses…I really don’t know, but at least most of the bowl was empty.

So about the choice of what to pour in one’s bowl… Maybe the mind can move mountains, I don’t yet know. I don’t know if we can choose to be whom we want to be, if we all get the “epiphany” at some point that we can take charge and mould ourselves into whatever takes our fancy (refill our bowls or empty them, what have you). Or if our own “moulding” is still a result of our experiences up until then (i.e. we decide to change/take charge only because an event occurred that gave us this idea). And even if we decide to take charge I don’t know if we can be truly in charge, because I don’t know if I, or my influences, are stronger. All around us we have this vast amount of influences: other people, the media, nature, the planets/stars, food, politics…not to mention every friggin event that ever happened to us as a child. I keep wondering if we can step out of all of that and just be? Be human?

You can make a man forget his whole life, yet he is still a man.

We fall in love with personalities. With peoples’ beliefs. Yet, by the end of the day, we go back to being energy. Wouldn’t it be nice for once to just be? Be instead of being something or someone?

We put so much energy into our goals and dreams, yet we do not know where they are taking us. We just know that our bowl got filled with some ideas when were kids and we are told that we should follow them. We fall in love and we feel stupid for falling out of love. We feel stupid, because our minds were closed when we went into it. We weren’t exploring, we were hoping. We did not see, we only saw what we wanted to see. And we stated how good we were for going there. How great our new adventure, business, partner, idea felt. We did not just say we were exploring something. We made a statement. About happiness. About being a good person. About achievement. About who we are because of it. And when things changed, we felt bad. We felt stupid. Yet all we were doing was to learn. It’s only we were brought up to believe we have come to find happiness and love and success…and if we fail, heaven help us – we are bad.

The enlightened have often said that life changes. The best we can do is keep up with our own reactions. See what they are, how we would like them to be. Fuel ourselves with love to grow into always having the reactions we like. Because life will happen and the only thing you can potentially control, is your own reactions to it.

It’s funny. I used to fight for change. I used to get so angry when I reacted to life in unfavorable ways. Now I accept. I accept that in that moment, for whatever reason, I feel hindered in doing what I would like to do. React how I would like to react. I accept it. And by accepting it, instead of fighting it, I let go of it. And in that moment there is movement. The acceptance allows the cemented behavior to soften up and allowing me to react differently. I guess the content of my bowl is no longer in charge of the bowl. I can just be. Be human.

So about that song…maybe I like it because something in Leto’s bowl represents something in mine…who knows? I might not have an as empty bowl as I would like, but I think he’s right in that “we were the Kings and Queens of promise…” In fact, I believe we still are. We have so much potential. We have built cities, airplanes, rockets… Maybe right now the world is in a place that’s not so cool. Our bowl has been filled with a fair amount of pollution, negativity, greed and corruption. Yet, compared to 1943, I think we are doing pretty damn well. And I hope that we can all see each other for what we are – bowls filled with experience…I mean humans…

The song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMX3qv1N37s

How we are affected by life: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyQjr1YL0zg



Filed under Art, Film, Life, Love, Music, Thoughts

4 responses to “I found a song…

  1. Such a usefule blogwow ! Hi great blog yea nice job


  2. Thanx very much, I appreciate your comment 🙂


  3. Amazing song, and I’m not even into that type of music. I really enjoy listening to it!


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