It takes a fool to remain sane…

It never seizes to amaze me walking home to the hills when there is a full moon shining, stars sparkling, the silhouettes of palm trees framing the streets, the smell of blossom in the air and the lights in the hills glistening like diamonds. Beauty never seizes to thrill me and people, nature and life never seize to impress me. A dear friend of mine once said: “I thought people like you only existed in books. You are such a romantic.” And for better or worse I think she was right.

Sometimes I think people will tire of me. Rather often actually. Like soon people will just have had enough of me ranting on about magical meetings, dawn and morning dew, starry nights and how to spice up your life (with whipped cream and chocolate sauce). I want to write something more funny. Something more sexy. Something more…something… In life I have tried hard to pretend not to be a silly romantic. Appearing cute has always made me cringe. I like sharp. Cutting edge. Cool. Someone who doesn’t give a shit. Strong. Independent. Sexy. Anything but an emotional, caring person who gets a silly grin on her face from sunsets and tears in her eyes from happy endings (no, not those kind of happy endings, they stir up rather different emotions). The funny thing is though – people who know me love me for my ability to be 100% ridiculously romantic and not because I can play sarcastic and sexy (although sometimes it gives me plus points, lol).

For years I have felt intimidated by people who are not like me. It frightens me to hang out with people who have a completely different outlook in life, so instead of shining my light and showing them who I truly am, I get frightened and shy and I play arrogant and cool to try to cover it up, with more or less success (if I’m too successful I end up being called a bitch). It’s the same when I date guys who I know have dated women that are worlds apart from me – I panic thinking what the fuck do I have to offer this guy that was last dating Miss Party Queen I Know All There Ever Was To Know About Sex, Drugs And Rock’n’Roll? He can have anyone, so why me? I’m just a silly girl who jumps through puddles in spring and leaf heaps in fall. I might know how to shake my ass and look cool on the dance floor, but I’m someone who’s idea of fun is baking, cuddling up in front of a fire, doing business, directing movies/plays/musicals and painting. I love strutting around in stilettos, but when I come home I will wear clogs and I will dig for worms and go fishing.

Of course, about once a year when I meet someone I like, he is a really cool, laid back guy who would rather swallow cyanide than admit to having emotions (but he is oh so adorable, right…lol). At least I always have something in common with the guys I date…and that’s sort of the point: you get what you give.

Why is it, we think we have to pretend to be exactly like those around us to fit in, when what they like is the difference? Why is it that we are scared of showing who we are, when that’s who we should be flaunting with style? Why is it that being emotional is frightening, when people like it more if you care about them, than if you stick your nose in the air and walk by without so much as looking in their direction? Why is it that we all love to be appreciated, but we hate showing appreciation? Is it fear of rejection? Ridicule? Being the one who cares the most? But if we truly like ourselves, would we really try to become what we think others want us to be (or make a statement about who we are with a big “fuck you if you don’t like it”/arrogance attached), or would we just show up, happy to flaunt who we are and let others enjoy that to the full, should they please?

The most precious gift I can give someone is the real me. It’s the only part of me they can enjoy, because it’s the only true part of me. Everything else is a lie. From now on I am going to start treating people with respect by trusting them enough to show them who I am. If they don’t like that, so be it – I like myself, whether they do or don’t, and at least I gave them my all and not just my pinkie.

“He who does not take insults seriously, is on the path to wisdom.” @paulocoelho 🙂

“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” (Epictetus) Tim Ferriss: “Cato, who Seneca believed to be the perfect stoic, practiced this by wearing darker robes than was customary and by wearing no tunic. He expected to be ridiculed and he was, he did this to train himself to only be ashamed of those things that are truly worth being ashamed of. To do anything remotely interesting you need to train yourself to be effective at dealing with, responding to, even enjoying criticism… In fact, I would take the quote a step further and encourage people to actively pursue being thought foolish and stupid.” http://mashable.com/2010/04/29/deal-with-haters-tim-ferriss/

It Takes A Fool

Whatever happened to the funky race?
A generation lost in pace,
-Wasn’t life supposed to be more than this?
In this kiss I’ll change your bore for my bliss
But let go of my hand and it will slip out
in the sand if you don’t give me the chance
to break down the walls of attitude,
I ask nothing of you
not even your gratitude

And if you think I’m corny
then it will not make me sorry
it’s your right to laugh at me
and in turn, that’s my opportunity
to feel brave
Because ridicule is no shame
it’s just a way to eclipse hate
it’s just a way to put my back staright
it’s just a way to remain sane

That it takes a fool to remain sane
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh In this world all covered up in shame

Every morning I would see her getting
off the bus the picture never drops
it’s like a multicoloured snapshot stuck in my brain
it kept me sane for a couple of years
as it drenched my fears
of becoming like the others
who become unhappy mothers
and fathers of unhappy kids
And why is that?
‘Cause they’ve forgotten how to play
or maybe they’re afraid to feel ashamed
to seem strange
to seem insane
to gain weight
to seem gay
– I tell you this:

That it takes a fool to remain sane
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh In this world all covered up in shame
(-Oh, take it to the stage!)

So, take it to the stage in a multicoloured
jacket take it jackpot, crackpot,
strutting like a peacock
nailvarnish Arkansas
shimmy-shammy featherboah crackpot haircut
dye your hair in glowing red and blue,

-Do, Do, Do! What you wanna do, Don´t think twice,
do what you have to do,
Do, Do, Do, Do, let your heart decide
what you have to do that´s all there is to find
Cause it takes a fool to remain sane,
Oh It takes a fool to remain sane
Oh In this world all covered up in shame

– Ola Salo –

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8 Comments

Filed under Courage, Dating, Inspiration, Joy, Life, Love, Men, Motivation, People, Personal Development, relationships, Relationsip, Self-confidence, socializing, Society, Thoughts, Truth, Uncategorized, Women

8 responses to “It takes a fool to remain sane…

  1. EACH NOTE

    Advice doesn’t help lovers!
    They’re not the kind of mountain stream
    you can build a dam across.

    An intellectual doesn’t know
    what the drunk is feeling!

    Don’t try to figure
    what those lost inside love
    will do next!

    Someone in charge would give up all his power,
    if he caught one whiff of the wine-musk
    from the room where the lovers
    are doing who-knows-what!

    One of them tries to dig a whole through a mountain.
    One flees from academic honors.
    One laughs at famous mustaches!

    Life freezes if it doesn’t get a taste
    of this almond cake.

    The stars come up spinning
    every night, bewildered in love.
    They’d grow tired
    with that revolving, if they weren’t.
    They’d say, “How long do we have to DO this!”

    God picks up the reed-flute world and blows.
    Each note is a need coming through us,
    a passion, a longing-pain.

    Remember the lips
    where the wind breath originated,
    and let your note be clear.
    Don’t try to end it.
    BE YOUR NOTE
    I’ll show you how it is enough.

    Go up on a roof at night
    in this city of the soul.

    Let EVERYONE climb on their roofs
    and sing their notes!

    Sing loud!

    Rumi

    Like

  2. Eric

    I know what you mean; I think that the parameters people use to govern their behaviour have a lot to do with deep bonds like their family or community. People loop themselves with protective barriers to preserve their culture or traditions or the image that represents those things.

    Because you have that ability to see the small details, you can notice when people are genuine or not, you can see the real side of them that wants to be free but it is afraid of the protective barriers around it. And you think to yourself, if only they just tried.

    Change of environment around them, I think that’s the way forward, when they see they’re not the only ones that feel a certain way…

    (I hope you didn’t think what the hell is this dude talking about lol) (“Yes Eric nice perception you have – you fruitcake lol”)

    But that’s also it, when you act too smart you end up distancing yourself from regular people. Is it because they are programmed to reject you! Or is it because you are out of touch? Hmmm too many variables for me to decide :p

    My conclusion: Or maybe we’re all special but theirs too many layers of fat around it for us to even realise? I think everyone should go on a life diet like you ;o)

    I know I’m special :p

    Like

    • It’s not about the people around me – who they choose to be is up to them. I just want to be free in myself. Sure I’d be happy if everyone lived truthfully, but that’s not up to me.

      Yes, I do believe we are all special underneath our layers of ego =)

      Like

  3. storiesfromthestove

    You hit on it in a number of times: Fear of being compared, criticized, failing, succeeding, being different, being genuine, too this and too that. I’ve got a headache thinking of all the permutations. .

    I just posted a story of a high school memory, including an interest in a hot looking classmate. I agonized over so much: should I use names, should I describe my actions, my feelings, who will be hurt, who will be pissed off, am I too critical, too sarcastic, all to the point of frenzy. The inner sensor is a demon.

    Anyway, as for the little poster at the end of your post, “Be the Revolution of you: Reinvent yourself,” I’ve never been too fond of the phrase reinvent yourself. How about, Rediscover yourself? There’s no need to reinvent; it’s all there, it’s been there, and it’s waiting to be rediscovered.

    Like

    • I guess the only judge we need is ourselves – what’s true to us? What’s not attitude, anger, fear…what’s real, what awakens us, what inspires us? I believe we often ask the wrong questions… (like I think blogging is hard, because each day you write a new post, and one day it’s funny, one day it’s deep, but you may not have two chances to give a first impression…but I guess I just have to post what’s true to me.)

      I now have to read your story =) When it comes to blogging I ask people permission or I make sure no one can connect them to the story if it’s of any relevance, but each has their own method.

      I guess we need to discover what’s true to us and maybe that’s peeling off the layers, maybe that’s a decision to change. I think both exist, at least for me.

      Like

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