You’re ugly, but I’d shag you anyway…

OK, so this is not a PC (politically correct) headline, but life is not PC. Have you ever met anyone who complains they are shy? Ugly? Feel inferior? Don’t like their body? Well, welcome to the world – that probably goes for 99.9% of the population. That is to say – anyone who is not a guru.

Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game. – Voltaire

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. – George Bernard Shaw

Excuses. Blame. I am. I can’t. Let me ask you, are you something? Or do you have tendencies? Now, most people think that they are something. I can’t predict myself. Therefore, I can’t be something. I have certain tendencies. I also have choice. Most people walk around all day long saying that they “are” their past. Please. I was my past. Today, I am me. Is that “me” a sum total of all the experiences I have had so far, so that when something new happens my reaction will be as a result of all these experiences? Probably. I have a theory though and it’s hardly unique: I believe, or at least I hope, that anyone who is told that s/he has a choice to be whom they choose to be and believes that to be true, will make a decision that they are going to educate themselves to become the person they want to be. In other words: they won’t think that they are the events that happened to them, but rather, they will search for the knowledge they need to be able to make new choices – form new behaviors. It is true that we can only make decisions from that which we know, that’s why education, if experience is lacking, is essential. If you wanna get somewhere: ask the people who got there. No, I’m not saying you can copy them exactly – you are unique, but you can only see as far as you look. Most people don’t look very far.

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many—not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. – Charles Dickens

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why am I so passionate about this subject? Because I see people all the time that have a ton of excuses as to why they are not living the life of their dreams. Also, at the age of 13 I hardly spoke unless spoken too; I was called geek, ugly and, obviously, shy. I know what it is like to feel like a pieces of worthless shit. Excuse my language, but that’s how I felt as a kid. I made a decision though – I saw people who had what I wanted to have and behaved like I wanted to behave and I set out to become like that. Today people think I am lying when I speak about my past. I’m not. That kid really was me and it really is possible to change. Was it easy? No, because I believed I was my experiences. It took some time to figure out I was just a human – I wasn’t shy, I wasn’t ugly and I wasn’t a geek. I was just a person. Did it take some time to figure out how not to be shy, ugly and geeky? Yes. I wasn’t a master socializer and oozing self-confidence when I first set out, let’s put it that way, but through trial and error I learnt to be a fairly outgoing, confident person. Sure I still slip back into old patterns sometimes, but I realize that’s not me. I am whom I choose to be, minus a few genes.

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. – Seneca

It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, “Always do what you are afraid to do. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you think people become popular because of their genes, or because they have a certain kind of behavior? Do you think people succeed because they are intelligent beyond belief, or because they have a certain kind of behavior? If it is because of behavior, would it maybe be wise to check what they do and start applying that? I have spent a lot of time amongst sales people and life coaches and read a ton about mentalism and hypnosis – believe me when I say that there are ways to deal with people and there are ways not to deal with people. It has nothing to do with having to change who you are, it’s just how you deal with things.

If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it. – Jonathan Winters

If I could give you one gift, I would give you the ability to see yourself as I see you, so you could see how truly special you are. – Author Unknown

Did you ever meet someone who is excusing themselves all the time for their existence? They show up at your b-day party with a gift: “Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t know whether to bring a gift or not, but I did get you one. I’m sorry if it’s not what you really want, or if it’s too stupid and I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have brought you a gift in the first place.” Then someone else walks in and says “Hello gorgeous, I brought you a gift. I am the worst gift buyer in the world, but it’s the thought that counts, isn’t it?!! Happy b-day hun.” Of course there is a person behind each of these behaviors. Of course they mean equally well. I’m just wondering, who do you think has the most luck in love of the two? The most luck with their career? It can also be said, that both of them will probably become luckier and better at most everything if there is someone next to them who believes in them and feeds them enough love to give them wings, so if that person is themselves. No, it’s not easy to find that energy to love yourself sometimes, but it is the key to flying without wings.

I am so glad that you are here… It helps me realize how beautiful my world is. – Goethe

Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

My dad always taught me that you can eat a brick if you really want to. He also used to say that second place is no place. He made me highly motivated, which I am sure he regrets by now – he didn’t realize exactly what I’d go after in life when he made these statements. Sufficient to say though, I was taught to fight. Had I not been I’d still be a shy, inferior little thing that believed she was worthless. I’m not worthless – no one is. You just have to stand up for yourself. And don’t tell me you are ugly. So is Jaquin Phoenix, in my opinion, and I swear he is the hottest thing since chili in Walk The Line. It’s character, not looks that shape a face and makes you wanna shag someone 90% of the time. Fitness and thinking you are a great shag helps too and all that takes is exercise.

Perseverance is failing nineteen times and succeeding the twentieth. – Julie Andrews (if it would only be that ratio…I believe I have failed a lot more often than that!!)

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi

Also, a lot of women apparently think that because they have small boobs they can’t get men. In that case I would NEVER get a guy and I have absolutely no lack of men wanting to shag me. I don’t think Kate Hudson does either.

If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. – Glenn Clark

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know that so it goes on flying anyway. – Mary Kay Ash

I believe it’s only when you see yourself as inferior to someone else that you make excuses for whom you are. No one is better than you. They may have practiced their skills for longer, or learnt earlier where they wanted to go, but they are NOT better than you.

We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you love me because I’m beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me? – Oscar Hammerstein

YOU deserve LOVE. Especially your own love. And when that happens, you will stop being an excuse and start being the person whom you truly are. At least, that was the case for me. Of course most of our lives would be easier if we were surrounded by people who loved us and infused us with strength (for one it we would stop us from seeking love from inappropriate places, such as douche bags, diva queens and emotional fuckwits) – so here’s to you: warm big loooong hugs, hot cups of tea, tons of laughter and lovely smiles.

RT @guy_finley D truth is that real success, ultimately the only success, is determined by how much we are in actual possession of ourselves

More from this guy here:

You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die, or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live now. – Joan Baez

Love makes the world a hell of a lot brighter =)

That would be me!!! =)

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Filed under Courage, Dating, dreams, education, Emerson, Humor, Inspiration, Joy, Liberty, Life, Love, Men, Motivation, People, Personal Development, Relationship, relationships, Self-confidence, sex, socializing, Society, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Women

9 responses to “You’re ugly, but I’d shag you anyway…

  1. tbo

    lol when I read the quote “If I could give you one gift, I would give you the ability to see yourself as I see you, so you could see how truly special you are.” I was sure it was going to say
    “If I could give you one gift, I would give you the ability to see yourself as I see you, so you could see what’s wrong with you.” haha I don’t know why that makes me laugh.
    Seems like that orangutan and dog were best friends in a past life or something.
    oh finally, I hear what you’re saying about changing your attitude and being yourself and becoming who you want to be, but I’m not convinced that’s all it takes. People keep talking about the law of attraction, confidence, hard work pays off etc but there seems to be something else to and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I’m looking for the missing element right now, the last key to the puzzle of success. Is it luck, destiny, or just everything aligning properly at the right moment? For instance, one woman may be really attracted to that bumbling, apologetic guy one week and the confident guy the next. Well, that’s a long discussion.


  2. We all have things we could get better at, I’m sure, but we are also all uniquely gifted – we all have the ability to make someone smile, maybe even laugh =)

    Seems like it!!! Or they just have a lot of things in common in this one!!!

    Well, maybe there is destiny, maybe there is choice, maybe there is both. It’s I guess a pointless discussion, because who knows? If I can do my best to help others, I’d like to do that. Is that a choice or is that my destiny? At least I can give it a go.

    Maybe the two guys have something in common that rings true to her? Maybe they both have a piece of her in themselves?


    • tbo

      woah, good answer. haha 🙂

      I think there is a lot to be said about environment. A guy can be an asshole and in the right environment, women will keep throwing themselves at him. Taken out of that place and put in a library, he may only get the cold shoulder. A nerd on the other hand, will be consistently ignored by girls in many environments, but thrive in others. So the whole thing about “being yourself” puzzles me, because we all become someone different when combined with someone else’s energy. And isn’t that what really attracts us about someone in the end; who we become when we’re with them? I’m many different people depending on which friends or family I’m with. I wouldn’t use the same language or humor with every friend. I will be extremely silly with my brother, and very serious with a Harvard girl. The trick seems to me to know which “self” to be around which person if you can actually control that.
      Wow I feel like I just totally went off on a tangent. I do that.

      can’t stop thinking about that orangutan and dog, I totally want to write a story about them. Maybe they were two hairy thieves that were thick as thieves in a previous life, and for a life of crime they were reincarnated as even hairier animals. hmm I need a better angle than that. And a female lead. And some minority characters, and big, talking robots. And ninjas.


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  4. megawfa79

    We are all works in progress. Some are further along in their journey, but it’s all about the journey. What we learn along the way is what shapes us to be who we are, but not necessarily who we want to be. It depends on whether we want to apply that information in our lives. It’s great to have countless bookshelves, full of interesting books. But if we haven’t read them, that’s the point?
    Every person had attractive qualities, but may not be able to, or choose not to, see them. We get hung up on what we believe others find attractive. It’s so easy to look in the mirror and spot all the changes we want to make, the things that we believe will make other people attracted to us. But those changes must be made to satisfy us, not others. If I wanted to lose 20 pounds so that women would find me attractive, that’s up to me. We can lose those extra pounds or change our hair color or get nip-tucked, and that will make you feel good. The true attraction goes beyond the physical. You haven’t allowed the other person to look into your soul. That’s where the true attraction lies.
    For the record: boob size doesn’t matter. My ex-wife has large breasts, but that’s not what attracted me to her. She has sparkling blue eyes – that’s what I noticed first. Women also don’t need to be rail thin. I’ve read that the average dress size of an American woman is 16. There is something very sexy in the curves of a woman. It’s something she should be proud of and flaunt to all.
    Throw in some kisses with those hugs, laughter and tea, and I’ll follw you anywhere. Thanks for sharing this with us.


  5. Sultana

    A very motivating post. I haven’t read such in a while. Nice one!


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