“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.” – Unknown
My best friend walked down the street one night with a stern face, then all of a sudden she lit up like a match stick, stopped abruptly, turned to me with a big smile and said “I’ve got it, I’ve got it! I had an iffy-piffy!!” Meaning epiphany… (Yesterday she ran into my room, jumping up and down from excitement, saying “I’m gonna go make some concussions now.” …meaning concoctions…we are trying out some old spa recipes by Cleopatra – I will let you know if they work!) Point being: I had an iffy-piffy!
A friend of mine asked on FB what women are looking for in men. I felt compelled to reply. I was thinking about all my 300 posts on love here and I quoted Rumi and some replies I had given to people commenting on various posts:
How’s…I love him, he loves me, he’s in love with me, I’m in love with him and together we create health, wealth and happiness? I think it’s a soul connection =) It does potentially help if…he’s a mixture of Richard Branson and Gerard Butler – extreme charm, rebellious nature, down to earth, adventurous, cheeky and with a BIG heart. A rough teddy bear 😉 *sigh* *double sigh* …but soul connection above all else…
“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”
The epiphany came a few minutes later (whilst brushing my teeth). I was thinking about all the lists I’ve written in the past (because everyone tells you you have to know what you are looking for and write it down, as with goals) and all the things I have had in mind when it comes to blokes. It started when I was around fifteen – I had this idea that I wanted to date a guy who had cendré (I guess light brown would be the correct translation) colored hair and green eyes. I also had a certain look in mind. One day, whilst I was having dinner somewhere, this guy walked in. I almost fell off my chair. It was HIM.
Then, there was that list I described in The mousetrap… which I have to say was rather long. As described: I met him too.
Next, I decided I was going to marry an American millionaire, mainly as a joke. Only I did. Twice. (I didn’t marry them – that was clearly a miscalculation in the manifestation process…)
Then I had this general thing in my mind. Like the type I like, as described above in the FB comment. I mean I wrote a whole book and the main character was kind of like that and I kept comparing all the men I met to this fantasy. I met that one too.
Another time I was talking to my best friend. We were joking about how we fall in love with different kinds of men and I tend to fall for the leader of the pack, let’s put it that way. We were reminiscing about when I was in love with one such leader (King) and she was in love with the best friend of another leader (Prince). As we are both in love with the idea of owning a castle in France, we were joking about when we one day find our King and Prince, we will be living in our Queendom with our men. A few minutes later it knocked on the door. I opened. Outside stood a guy that said: “You must be the Queen of the castle.” I just stared at him, unable to speak. Sadly, it was not my King by the door…
Now, it’s not that I just meet any odd dude that happens to have the qualities I am looking for – I am always attracted to them, so it feels like they are a match; some more than others. I wouldn’t shag someone just because they matched a few words on a list, let’s put it that way. Most of them I had flings with, with others there was just something there in the air.
“We love force and we care very little how it is exhibited.” – Emerson …that would be one of my flaws – force floors me – was that love? No it was me being in love with the force I wanted to have…be…
So, whilst brushing my teeth I was wondering about this curious case of manifestations. It’s not like I always think that next I will manifest this or that, I just have a wish, or I’m joking about something, and whoops – he appears. The thing is though, none of them worked out. And although I love being single (I get to keep the ice cream tub all to myself when watching movies), I’d prefer that if I do meet a guy I like it would be Mr Wonderful, because it’s just such a waste of energy to get involved with maybe babies – I mean I am thankful for each one. They all taught me things, I had fun with them, they gave me a push in the right direction, etc., but they do take up thinking space when it doesn’t work out (some five minutes, others five years…well maybe not…slight exaggeration…I am not at all prone to those…ahem). Plus, you’d rather shag the greatest guy on the planet, right? Second best just doesn’t do it for me… And if you feel there is a mismatch there somewhere: either that you don’t quite fit, or you don’t quite like him, or he doesn’t quite like you…well, you don’t really wanna commit, because you feel there’s opportunity cost. Like you’d rather be single next time you go on vacation and sip Pina Coladas and check out all the men…
Then, voilà I had my iffy-piffy: I do not know what my soul mate and life partner is like. I keep having ideas of what I’m currently attracted to in guys, but that’s not to say that my soul mate will be like that. In other words: I don’t have a clue – I mean the dude might be standing right in front of me and I am not seeing him because of my pre-conceived ideas. As Rumi said: we are already inside one another. When we are both ready we will be together. It’s all about me – where I am at in my heart and soul – screw the list (…or rather: stop screwing the list…).
“A thousand half-loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home.” – Rumi
Why am I always blogging about love? Because everyone who has found it say it’s the greatest thing in life and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna miss out on that! In the meantime though, I’m gonna enjoy this single life…
“Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.” – Unknown (…typically male behavior…please swallow your pride and ask for directions, knock on my door and ask for the key to my heart…and if I don’t recognize you at first: knock, knock again…and if that doesn’t work – hit me in the head with a baseball bat – if nothing else we will have a lovely fight and once we have measured our strengths I can determine if you are worthy my attentions or not…it really is that simple…)
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