No one can grant you anything but you. Everything you truly seek is within you. You are your world and by the end of the day it is your judgement that matters. It is not God that you battle every day – it’s yourself, or the God in you – you were born with a conscience. It is not because someone tells you that you are good or bad that you feel something, it is because of what you think of what they tell you that you feel something. People all live within their own worlds and they will tell you what they think and feel, but it all springs from their worlds. No one who has not been through what you have can judge you, because they will not fully understand you. You are unique.
Most people have goals and dreams within society, but it is not doing what they love that drives them – it is ego that drives them. Therefore, they can never feel satisfied with their own actions – it is not enough to practice their craft and by doing so grow, but what they want is society’s appraisal.
People seek love, not to share their life with the best partner for them, but to feel that they are loved. You love yourself. It often gets easier when you see someone who is in love with you, but it is still your judgement of that love that makes you feel it. Many people are loved, but they feel unloved, because they do not love themselves. It is true that no one but you can love all of you, because no one else can see all of you from your point of view. They can, however, love what they see in you and know that like them you are on a journey through life and feel compassion and therefore love for you.
When you love yourself you live up to your image of love. When you do not love yourself, you are trying to grow a flower with no water. Whatever you strive for, what makes it grow is love. Love yourself through your hurdles. Learn. Feed love. Grow. There is no judgement, only learning. Failing is learning what does not work. If it does not work, you are unlikely to be punished for your wrong action or inaction in any other way than that you are still were you were, instead of where you long to be. If you love yourself you will find the strength to take action and try different actions until you find what works to bring you where you long to be.
People say that there are ways to success, happiness and enlightenment that you should follow. All roads lead to Rome. It is Rome, not the road that is important. In Taoist practice there is a way of reaching immortality through sexual practice. Others reach it through meditation and yoga. Some through fasting in the dessert. The truth is written in a grain of sand. If you seek you will find. The important thing is that you practice something, because it is through your road that you will learn – it is the feedback you get from moving that brings you your lessons. You may, or may not, reach your destination depending on how far it is to go, but you will be on the journey that your heart chose.
All goals outside of you must be false, because you cannot measure them, nor control them. Maybe you will only get an idea that you can and would like to be able to control yourself if circumstance taught you that this is possible and how, but at least once you know you can practice and see your own growth. To strive for success outside of you on the other hand, is to play roulette. It is likely that if you grow on the inside, your circumstance will change, but there are many variables that control the outside, which you may or may not be able to control once you control the inside.
All envy, jealousy and hatred come from desire to reach something in the outside world. If you satisfy your desires on the inside, your negative emotions will go. However, without desire, humanity would seize to exist – we would have no desire to stay alive, so we would not protect ourselves from death, or reproduce. Therefore, I believe that desire can be good. It is the intention behind the desire that matters. If you have good intention for your desires, your negative emotions will have no control over you – they will sweep through you, but they will mean nothing to you.
We were born with different dispositions – no matter how hard you try you may never become Einstein. Nor may Einstein never have become Da Vinci. Some people are really good at making jam, others are really good at making companies. Strive to be you, not someone else.
Having said all that, I still believe that creation comes from two forces meeting and that divinity lies within those meetings. You can, however, not control the meetings, only your reaction to them.
My friend once said that in India they laugh at the Western man, because his/her goals are insane. Society was man made. Maybe your dreams were too.
Life is about living, too few people do.