Knights v.s. investment bankers…

We’ve all heard the fairy tales – since we were kids time and time again we have been told the story of a Knight in shining armor riding to fetch his Princess. Sounds a hell of a lot more romantic than the Investment Banker (who had gotten tired of one-night-stands) sat down in the bar after a long day, laid eyes on a Journalist (who was tired of emotional fuckwitages, fuck buddies and fucking lousy lovers), bought her a drink and that was that. Boring plot.

Now, in reality, I guess it doesn’t matter where and when you lay eyes on your darling to be, but I have contemplated this knight’s tale for a while and I think there is some truth to it. Let me explain:

Us women live with the idea of one day this bloke will come riding into our lives and we will recognize him easily as he will be standing underneath our window fighting dragons (and if not, at least defy our father and climb up to our balcony to declare his never-ending love for us). The thing is, usually we are not sitting stuck in some tower guarded by dragons. No, we tend to stumble upon him in all other weird kind of settings – from match.com to the local pub. So how the heck do we know it is him? He’s come to save us of course! No, truly he has come to save us from singledom, but for us to give up this nice secure tower where we have locked our heart up, he better well save us with some sort of glorious deed. How else will we know that it is he? Why else would we trust him with our heart? No clue. Therefore, he has to fight. Basically, he has to climb the tower and fight the dragons (I’m sad to say I don’t own any dragons to let loose on him, although between my sister and my best friend, he better watch out) so instead he will have to fight for us in other ways. That is to say: he can’t take no for an answer, he’s gotta be prepared to move mountains to be with us (whether that be to defy his mother’s opinion of us, or drive 50 miles a day to see us), he has to believe he can outdo all the other suitors out there and he better be doing his chase in style – from text messages to surprises, he’s gotta be a good warrior – if he does not stand out from the crowd, we won’t recognize him, nor trust him. We will not give a Knight our heart unless he puts up a fight.

Men, on the other hand, have been told that they will have to fight for their fair maiden. In other words – they will not go after a woman who does not expect them to fight for her. Unless they get to fight, how will they know that it is she? They won’t. They need to feel like they fought a war to win her heart – whether that was to be a master in coming up with clever dates, defy her best friend’s wishes (in my case: forget it – if she doesn’t like you, you are out the door in a heartbeat), save her life, outdo a gazillion other suitors, or move Heaven and Earth to be with her. Besides, she needs to be skilled enough in winning his trust, so that once they have fought bravely and climbed all the way up to her chamber in the tower, she is able to remove their armor, piece by piece, until she finds the man underneath it. No man will allow this unless he feels sure he has won her heart.

Of course, after the fighting has taken place the Knight and the Princess need to prove their abilities by making each other feel like King and Queen, as once you have been given a heart, your duty is to look after it and make it beat stronger and stronger by the hour. Else it is likely that the heart will take flight.

What say you dear readers? Is there any truth to this? I guess sometimes it’s reverse roles and the woman does the fighting and the man gets rescued, but it seems to me that many women sit in towers and many men hide under armor, and until a fight takes places, both are stuck in their hiding places. Love is, after all, to understand someone; to truly see them and feel for them and most of us don’t let anyone see our heart unless we think they deserves it – either because they are good at fighting, or they are good at disarming us. It’s very easy to have a crush on someone you know you will never get; the imaginary Knight or Princess, but to actually commit in the real world takes quite something. Or well, at least it takes someone walking straight into one’s life and claiming one’s heart, fully confident that they will get it, only most people don’t do that, as they are unsure of whether they want it or not. Hence, a fight is in place to make it all that more exciting and give us the feeling that the trophy is all that more valuable. There’s a truth to the saying “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” It may also be that you don’t know what you’ve got till you’ve had to fight for it.

There’s gotta be some reason why armor and amour are such similar words…so now with your amour, disarm someone of their armor…the cheese factor just reached 10,000 on a scale of 1 to 100….

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16 Comments

Filed under Courage, Dating, Humor, Life, Love, Men, Relationship, relationships, Self-confidence, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Women

16 responses to “Knights v.s. investment bankers…

  1. “…but it seems to me that many women sit in towers and many men hide under armor, and until a fight takes places, both are stuck in their hiding places.”

    Great analogy there. So how do you really get the Princess to come down and the knight to reveal himself?

    Dating websites are great but to me, I think some women and men are just too afraid to communicate with each other. The Princess probably knows that this is her man and the Knight probably that this is her woman but nothing happens because neither party does anything. Now there’s your problem.

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    • Well in that case it’s just about each person’s courage and that’s where the problem lies. I believe you normally sense if there is something with someone and then you do do something. I mean nine times out of ten you know if someone likes you, whether they say so or not!

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  2. Another great text…just one thing, we don’t always have to fight, as I don’t think that fighting for someone means she is the one…I didn’t put up much of a fight if I put any fight at all, but I simply know she is the one…

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    • Well I agree that you may not have to fight, but I believe if you think someone is the one you are prepared to fight and you put in the time and effort to show someone that. I did say things such as vowing her, which is, in a way, fighting for her!

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  3. megawfa79

    I agree with the Gentleman: too often the Knight and the Princess are waiting for the other. They are too busy playing The Game. “what does he/she want? what do they like? would they like me?” it is about communication. Forget the pickup lines, talk to another. I was recently in a sports bar to watch the Stanley Cup finals, and there was a woman staring intently at the screen. I have a poor success rate with opening lines, but that was in another life. In this situation I walked up to the bar, ordered a beer, and asked the woman who scored the goals. Immediately I had a connection with this person I’d never met before that night.
    That may be an atypical situation because you don’t find lasting relationships with people you meet in bars. It’s usually one-night stands or a few weeks of fun, then it burns out. For something lasting, you need something more – a true connection that sparks a thousand conversations and can bloom into love. But you never know when that special love comes along. The cliche is correct, “you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince” – or this case, your Knight.
    It’s frustrating, yes. But it’s worth waiting for, and fighting for.

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    • I used the metaphor – you have to have a bite of the cake to figure out if you like it, haha, kinda like kissing frogs!!

      To be honest, I’m not so sure it’s about the line – it’s about the person delivering the line – so long as it’s not the worst line ever =)

      I guess most of my opinions on love can be found under the Love page on this site.

      I think you can meet Mr or Mrs right anywhere – if you go to bars, then surly your second half might as well?

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  4. tbo

    I agree with the above comments. There is such blatant lack of communication between men and women, I think the distance is far greater than Mars and Venus- it may as well be different dimensions.
    I agree also agree with the whole Knight analogy, and I must admit it’s one of the reasons that I’m a little bit sexist that way. Not at all that women are inferior or anything like that, but the way the culture was set up in the past (where most women weren’t in the workforce, couldn’t vote etc) it made sense that a man had to court and fight other suitors for a good woman. Than we reached equality, yet that courting part of the culture stayed the same. Why is that? Why does the man have to do absolutely everything, and at the slightest misstep the woman disregards him forever and than complains that there is no white knight knocking at her door? If society and culture is really going to be equal, than women have to start flirting, being aggressive and asking for numbers as well as men. Enough with the locking yourselves in the impenetrable tower in the clouds already, lol!!! Come down and buy us a drink! Let’s see you girls fight dragons for a good man for a change.
    And finally, open your eyes ladies- I know so many good guy friends that are single- they don’t smoke, don’t do drugs or drink too much, they’re well educated etc, aren’t these modern day white knights? Yet the girls seem to *love* the evil sorcerers…
    haha why do I feel like I’m going to get a bunch of angry replies.

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    • because you’re absolutely right 🙂

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    • First of all, I believe that any relationship that has potential for being great, is something worth fighting for. I think when you realize that you maybe can’t have something, or can lose something, you are suddenly more prepared to fight. I also agree with Robin that if you have fought for something, you appreciate the value more. That was sort of the point to this blog post. I also think that when you see someone prepared to fight for you, you like them more – both men and women.

      And to answer what you said below – there’s a difference between men that over rule your “maybes” and men that disregard your honest wishes. A man has to be persistent, and he has to be confident, but he he has to be able to pick up on whether you like him or not, basically. What I’m trying to say is that it’s one thing if a guy knows you are interested to refuse taking no for an answer and a different thing if you make it clear to a guy that you definitively aren’t interested and he keeps pursuing you.

      I believe you know if someone has an interest in you or not – whether they say so blatantly or not. If there is an interest, you pursue them, if not, you don’t. Believe me – I will make it quite clear to a guy if I have an interest in him, given I feel he has some sort of interest in me. I mean basically we flirt with people we like. If they respond, you pursue it further. If not, you leave it. Still though, I believe he will appreciate you more, if you make it clear that you ain’t just gonna go with him unless he is willing to invest some skin in the game.

      Have you actually read the book by the name Men are from Mars and women are from Venus? It’s a good book. So are The Five Love Languages. Communication is an art and there are tons of information on the subject.

      Also, with regards to the comment below – of course you spend time with people to figure out if you like them or not – after that initial spark you have to figure out if you can grow it into a flame.

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      • tbo

        I think it’s impossible to tell whether a girl is interested or not because most of the time “ignoring the guy” “appearing uninterested” or “giving the cold shoulder” is what they’ve been told they’re supposed to do to indicate attraction. The more I think about this the more it doesn’t make sense.

        My point was mainly that there’s no reason the guy has to be the “savior” anymore- women don’t realize how rude and insulting it is to have to go out on a limb constantly trying to make first contact, trying to make the effort- most of the time leaving your pride and integrity at the door, and I just wish the culture of equality would catch up to the game so that women have to do the hunting as well.
        Maybe we should have one holiday in the year in which the roles are switched over so that each party would understand where the other is coming from a little better.

        And I have to admit, I don’t see any truth to the the effort and fighting thing- maybe this is because I’m a guy. I think it’s obvious from the get-go whether you’re attracted to someone and you don’t need 16 dates to figure it out. But than maybe we’ve reached the core of the difference between male and female attraction- men can feel attraction right away, whereas a woman’s attraction depends more on random events and things such as time and how much effort a guy makes rather than the his looks and the content of his character.

        To be honest this is the first time I’m leaving the blog more confused and with less hope than when I started reading it, it’s definitely cemented the idea that I don’t think men and women will ever understand each other or be on the same page.

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        • I still think you know somewhere if someone likes you or not. You may have to play a bit hard to get to keep a guy’s interest, but you still show interest if you like him. And I, for one, do make contact with guys I like. Besides I don’t consider it rude for a girl to wait for a guy to make contact, because that’s normally what a man likes to do and has nothing to do with being rude.

          I think you know if you are attracted to someone from get go, but you don’t know that person from get go – it takes time to figure out whether you want to be in a relationship with them or not. I don’t suggest you go out of your way to try and date someone who isn’t nice. I meant when you reach further on in the relationship. However, I believe in doing your best in the dating game also.

          I don’t believe that you fall for any guy who fights for you, for me it’s obvious that everything I have talked about before (under the Love page on this site) is there. All I’m saying is that I know a guy is worthy of me if he is prepared to fight to be with me, as I’m prepared to fight to be with him. The above is a metaphor, it’s only part of what dating is. My main point was that everyone hides their heart, whether in a tower or under armor, and it takes some skill to unlock it. If someone tries that hard and you love them, well then they are worthy of it.

          I have friends that do free seminars on men v.s. women. I have heard it’s the shit, so if you wanna go I will give you their info.

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  6. It is in the effort that value is created. We will never appreciate something that comes easily, which is why rich parents that dote on their kids’ every whim are quite literally “spoiling” them, and poor parents that figure they have no chance anyway are just as much “spoiling” their kids. All value in this world is the result of effort.

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    • tbo

      that is incredible- it’s like I said, it’s far more distant than Mars and Venus. Value is created in effort???? wow… So all those films about the guy spending months trying all sorts of different ways to get the girl when she keeps saying no aren’t total bullsh*t?
      In modern society you can’t even know a girl well enough to know if she’s worth the making the effort unless she agrees to spend time with you, so it’s a catch 22.
      That is so odd. I thought guys who insisted and didn’t take no for an answer were considered creeps by women.

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