The wind is blowing…

They come like whirlwinds, or breezes at night. They sneak in, or they arrive with a storm. Some twirl around for a while, creating patterns, or disruptions. Others gently stroke one’s skin with tenderness. It happens they stay for an hour, a day, a year, or a lifetime. Whatever their role, you find out as you go along…twirl along.

With the years I’ve come to expect the disruptions, the tenderness, the patterns and the storms…when the wind blows and the bell chimes I know that there will be change, I just don’t know which kind.

When I was younger I always thought that the change would be the best ever. That this time it was “It.” The wind would stay, it wouldn’t suddenly move away, or cause havoc. Now I only expect change. One kind, or another.

I’ve learnt that some winds just don’t move in the same direction. You have to follow your heart, they have to follow theirs. When the hearts speak the same language, that’s when you can actually talk…fly together in a dance.

I’ve never been able to predict the winds, yet they have been very predictable because of the ways I’m blowing myself…always moving, always changing, always craving more, better, higher… Only when I’m constantly striving do I feel satisfied. Constantly moving along.

The most surprising thing is that it’s not the winds one think one will, that one ends up remembering. It’s the most unlikely of winds that actually made you change direction…change course and left an imprint on your heart…

It takes a lot of courage to fully engage with a wind, because you never know where it will take you…in which direction it will blow you…but when you let yourself go entirely you are swept off your feet in the most marvelous adventure. You experience yourself through them, with them, and you see life in a different way. You get a new pair of eyes to lend you their sights.

I love it when they sort of whistle your name, because they are so you…the pure sight of them makes you dance and twirl and…fly. Fly so high and so fast and so wonderfully deliriously exhilaratingly crazy. They are the rough, unexpected winds that leave you smiling for a long time after…or forever dancing…

Ride like the Wind
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4 Comments

Filed under Dancing, Joy, Liberty, Life, Love, Men, relationships, Story, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Women, Writing

4 responses to “The wind is blowing…

  1. Lately, I can’t stop comparing my life now to my life then. Then is when I traveled the world with nothing more than a small duffel bag I could throw into an airplanes overhead bin or sling over my shoulder while hanging precariously off the side of a PMV in some God forsaken place like Lae, Papua New Guinea.

    I remember hoping on trains in Japan, getting on and off wherever, making my way through thick throngs of people, blond hair bobbing high above a sea of shiny black.

    And once upon a time, in Australia, I met this man… 23 years it’s been. I had no plans to be married. No plans to become a mom. It just… happened. Since then, I’ve fought to stay in the wind, but life has provided shelter in ways I never asked of it. I’ve now lived in the same home for nearly six years, the same community for nearly ten. During that time, my passport has expired. I haven’t adopted another child (oh, yeah, hubby and I adopted four of them in the past, talk about winds of change!)

    But that’s not really what you’re talking about here. You’re not talking about being blown by choice from place to place, you’re talking about the way life catches you up and lifts you right off your feet, I think.

    I started blogging on myspace a few years ago. I didn’t expect it to get so out of hand, to grow so big so fast. I went with it. It scared me being so public, but I was addicted. Most people in my “real” life, my offline life, thought it was just some phase. They didn’t take it seriously at all. Kate’s blogging. *pet pet* It was just some silliness; I’d get over it.

    But that silliness changed my life. I never saw it coming. If I had, I would have quit immediately. I know that. Because it was blogging that led me to a place of deep discontent, a place where I was perched on the edge of losing everything that mattered most to me. I lost perspective. But I survived that and came out stronger.

    It was also the phenomenon of becoming a “big blogger” that led me to lose my religion. My blog was bombarded by people of every ilk and I was fascinated by everything they said. I engaged in debate with fundamentalist Christians, Atheists, Wiccans, Buddhists… and I was enthralled by their differences, their passion. I began to truly THINK beyond the strict boarders that were placed around my mind at a very early age when it came to the subject of God.

    Because I embraced blogging, went with the wind that blew it BIG, I encountered people who challenged me in ways I’d never been challenged and I am no longer a fundamentalist Christian. It was an excruciatingly difficult change. My world view shifted. My LIFE changed. Always, it had been centered around “the church.” Having weathered that particular storm, I’m glad I went with it. My world has expanded. My mind is reengaged. I’m no longer drifting toward middle age… I’m LIVING fierce and hard and fully in. I’m changing and growing and…captivated.

    It’s hard to know when to surrender and when to fight. I’m not talking about apathetic surrender. I’m talking about the kind of surrender that just lets go, like a person standing in a river current who, instead of fighting to stay upright, simply lifts their feet and drifts, enjoying every bend, every twist. 🙂

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    • Hey Kate,

      Thanks for this long and interesting reply – I have thought about it for a week or so now… It’s fascinating, isn’t it, how life suddenly throws you something and suddenly everything changes.

      A few years back…two and a half to be exact, I went to Maui to do a course in personal development. I saw it as a nice vacation. Only, what happened was after visiting Maui and San Fransisco I stepped off the plane in London, only to wonder what was wrong with people? Why weren’t they friendly? Why weren’t they smiling? Why was it cold and miserable?

      I arrived at my best friend’s place and she said “I think we might move to LA when we graduate.”

      LA…city of mud slides, earthquakes, shootings and plastic fantastic. I never thought I’d go near it, unless for work. In Hawaii though, I had met some people from LA. They were nice. Super nice, in fact. So I decided to go to LA for the rest of my courses instead of doing them in London. And so, I ended up in LA. The city I call home.

      Religion fascinates me. I was never a conformist though. I believed in them all, in moderation. To me the idea of where you are born to determine your religion, your point of view in life, seemed flawed. Besides, they all seemed to be on about the same thing, in different ways. And as I have grown older I have also learnt about the problems with the bible…the facts that don’t add up as facts. You see, I always believed Jesus was like the rest of us – a child of God. I just think he knew so much more.

      Also, I come from Sweden where religion is…not so strong. New Age is stronger. We’re a bit pagan. And I always loved Native Indian American ideas. To find solace in nature has always been a big thing for me.

      I believe in wisdom, I believe in goodness and I believe there are things going on right now that we know very little of unless we tap into our sixth sense.

      I can understand how a change of beliefs wreck havoc. When I realized that just hard work and a belief that you can reach your goals, might not be enough, I was challenged. I came apart. It was me. The dreamer. That believed. If that wasn’t true, then who was I? A liar? Too “stupid” to make it? And what was life? Co-incidence? Did free will not exist? Was everything a result on things we’ve been imprinted with? To this day, I don’t know. I can only live and do as much as I can to help others and have fun. That’s it. (I will post a video today that explains some of this :))

      Actually, this post was about men…but it works well for life too 🙂

      Yes, yes, yes to your last sentence!!!! 🙂

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  2. That was lovely. I love how you dance with your own life’s winds-seeking to make each event the best it can be. Allowing those breezes to shape your soul…gorgeous.

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