So it’s still I challenge you to love month. My emotional challenges vary daily. Today I decided to write a few love poems. I just wrote whatever came to mind, or came to heart if you so like. I really dislike posting it, because it makes me cringe, so that’s why I’m doing it: it’s a challenge. It makes me cringe because it’s not a consciously nicely written post. It’s a post written without thinking, allowing parts of me I don’t even agree with to come out.
Whatever part of me that wrote it, whether grand, or small and insignificant, whether amazingly wonderful, or totally messed up….whatever the part, it is part of me and I would like to uncover myself all the way until I reach my heart, my core and live from that core every single day. I think the way to do that is to acknowledge every part of me. To love and heal every part of me. To gently, gently love myself open. And for me that means allowing the girl with the broken heart to speak. The girl who has had a broken heart for more years than she can remember. It’s allowing the girl who loves so much she’s ashamed of her love to speak. The girl who felt her love was never welcomed and tried to hide it somewhere deep inside. It’s allowing all that, coming to peace with all that and going beyond all that and becoming the woman who simply loves. Loves all.
It is one life, one love. That’s all there is: your life and how much love you pour into it. To hold back in any way is folly. I want to live my heart. To do so, I have to shed all the layers of memories, beliefs, guidelines about myself and life… Acknowledge them, accept them, love them and let go of them. Writing without thinking (which for me often is writing sort of poetry) is quite a good way of doing that, because you let yourself speak the truth. Then you can accept it, love it and move on.
It’s been years since I wrote poetry. I used to write poetry (or whatever you want to call the maze of words that came out onto the paper) all the time. This is a tiny piece, one of the shortest I’ve written. I will now move onto my next challenge: write love poems about people who have touched my heart and write a love poem about myself. I’m already cringing so I feel this will be good. Maria coming to terms with being Maria.
Like a gentle morning
His eyes awakening
Sun streams of summer
Glory of dawn
The power of the ocean
The call of the sailor
Awake, awake and away
Forget, forget the sailor that sailed by