When hot men in chocolate sauce are the only solution…

Winter. Coriander. Winter with no indoor heating. Coriander in my favorite Latin and Thai dishes. Those are the things that should be banned. Or at least kept at a distance from me.

It’s winter in Cape Town. Or it’s autumn, but they only have two seasons here, really. During one it’s windy and sunny, during the other it is cloudy or rains at least 70% of the time. It’s dreadful. If I had panoramic views of the oceans on one side and the mountains on the other, a fireplace in every room, plus proper insulation and heated floors, a hot tub and a steam, it would possibly be better. But now I don’t have any of that.

The only place I like winter is in L.A. It rains for a week then it’s sunny again. It gets cooler, but it doesn’t get cold. Cafés understand they need heating lamps everywhere. If you want a sense of proper autumn and winter you just drive out of the city and into the mountains. Hell, you can even go snowboarding like two hours away from the city. And in L.A. you have another important thing, namely L.A.

As much as I love the nature in Cape Town and the work I do here I can’t stand winter. We’ve had two rainy days in a row and I feel like killing someone. Most likely myself. Possibly due to PMS, which would explain my thunderous headache. It’s like having fog in my brain. Life sucks, when the other day life was awesome.

To me, good Swedish summers in the south are heaven. Sunrise around 4am, sunset around 10pm and it never gets really dark. I am like an energy bolt and life is fabulous. I’m super charged and my creativity reaches new heights (which is impressive for someone who’s been described as “hyper creative,” trust me).

I have something called light addiction you see. Light makes me happy. I don’t even like blinds. I prefer to wake up with the sun playing on my face. I’m drawn to light like some are to hot men with chocolate sauce on them. (OK, I might be drawn to those too.) I just don’t function without it. I’m sleepwalking and no amount of coffee (and sugar – normally it’s xylitol, but when it rains? I need energy) can awaken me. I live in a house with a ton of natural daylight and it is still a time of year when it’s sunny for the most part and all it takes is two days of rain and I think life’s going to hell.

I’m actually petrified of winter. It makes me feel awful. Light aside, no matter how much I exercise, how many cups of hot tea I drink and how much chili I put on my food (I currently put it in my tea too), I’m still freezing. My skins start cracking, even if I apply body lotion three times a day, or more. And then to topple it off I have a blanket of depressing fog in my head. And trust me, I eat my vitamin D. In Cape Town I also get sick in winter. I am just recovering from two weeks of a cold and sinus infection, both that left me bedridden with a fever until antibiotics slowly brought me back to walking upright for longer than five minutes at a time. In fact, I’m still popping antibiotics.

So there you have it – I’m sulking. I have enough work to do to keep me busy for months, if not years, and my concentration is faltering as I feel miserable in this weather. I feel trapped. I wanna take the kids and head to somewhere where it’s spring. As it’s supposed to be. What keeps me going is the idea that in five weeks I am  indeed going to somewhere where it’s spring as I have to renew my visa. Ideally I also need to go to L.A. for business and I want to see my friends in London. Whilst I’m terrified of leaving the kids for six weeks, I do have to go. Till then I wish to lock myself up and make love to some hot man to keep me warm. Not that I have time for that, but still. Brr, fucking, brr.

Now I’m gonna go heat up more spicy Thai curry. Without coriander. And later I’m gonna drive to Cape Town, oh and ah about the fog rolling in over the mountains and the look of the waves as they crash against the shore, praise the Gods for this beautiful place, drink my favorite coffee at the V&A and chat to people in the iStore as I’m checking my Mac. Usually anything to do with the iStore perks me up by at least 50 degrees. It could be very necessary unless I bump into a hot man en route.

Frustrated blonde, over and out.


Image source: https://za.pinterest.com/pin/507780926714436901/


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Filed under Humor, Sarcasm, Uncategorized, Winter

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