Daily Archives: October 30, 2019

Trick or treat…

Today people in many places will be handing out treats…or they’ll get tricked, probably ending up with toilet paper wrapped around the trees in their garden… 

I was thinking about this: how many people do you trick or treat on a daily basis? If you give me a treat, I’ll be happy. If not, I’ll do x, y, z. The best part? Most people don’t even ask for what they want, they just assume they’ll get it, or hint at wanting it, and then get angry if they don’t receive it. 

It really helps asking for what you want. In plain English. 

On the flip side of the coin, have you ever tried handing out treats just for fun? Like, say, compliments? I always write about it, but ever since I did a challenge with my best friend where I had to compliment someone daily, I became a big fan of this. 

You see, I used to be really shy, so as a kid I almost never complimented people. I was too scared they wouldn’t want to be complimented by me. The thought of uttering the compliment was so scary I just kept my mouth shut. Sometimes I still do, out of habit. That old fear flares up like a ghost, or I simply don’t think to say what I’m thinking as it was such an ingrained habit to avoid talking to people when I was little. 

Tim Ferriss (yes, we’re back to him), in the 4-Hour Work Week talks about how he challenged himself to do something until it no longer scared him. Such as walking up to a new woman every day asking for her number. Whether he scored or got rejected, he got so used to doing it, it no longer bothered him. It became circumstance instead of a big deal. Once you overcome the fear, you become free. You’re no longer a slave to your own fears. You can choose your actions freely.

The other reason I’m a big fan of this, is because I know what a compliment can mean. I used to be that shy kid right, and I was so shocked whenever someone said something nice to me, I’d hold onto it for an eternity. Replay the moment. Over and over again. It gave me some sort of hope that maybe, just maybe, some people could actually like me. Not just pity me because my mom had died, put up with me for some other reason, or talk to me because I was smart and talented, but like me for me. 

I came to think about this as I was asking myself what I’d love to experience right now? Like, I’m happy. I’m starting to feel fulfilled in a way I haven’t before. Yet, I long for certain things. Like compliments. Sometimes I just want someone I can cook for so that I can have them share in the experience I’ve created. Someone who appreciates it. An adult. Kids love my food. I get to hear that all the time. But an adult. Someone who appreciates me in a different way and shares experiences with me in a different way. Plays with me in a different way. Enjoys different kinds of adventures. That’d be nice. Sharing time and being appreciated. I think that’s what I’d want, if I could have a treat. And I get that treat sometimes. I have beautiful people in my life. It’s just that I’d like to create more of that. More adventures, more play time, more appreciation. Because people — the right ones — in and of themselves are a treat.

Meaning you are a treat.

Happy Halloween my darlings!

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Filed under Behavior, diary, Fear, fears, Inspiration, Inspirational, Motivation, Musings, overcoming fears, Uncategorized