Category Archives: Gifts

You are simply beautiful to some…

#712 小綠濛情

Today, as I was getting out of the tube, one person laid eyes on someone they knew and started waving. I could only see this person’s back, but the smile on the receiving end (the guy he was waving at) was so big it made me smile. And that’s life. It’s so beautiful when two people really appreciate one another – when they bring smiles to each other’s faces. When they share this world, so if only for a while.

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Beautiful you…

I love flowers

Dare to stick your neck out...into the flower field...

Knock, knock, who’s in there? Will you come out? Will you show me the beautiful you? Will you share your love and laughter with the world today? Hiding in the shadows doesn’t bring much light to your eyes. Walking in the sunshine makes your skin sparkle and your eyes twinkle with delight.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been a master at hiding. Since age nine, or so, I remember walking in roundabout ways to avoid people I thought would rather not see me. I remember locking myself into my room to avoid my step family. I remember looking down when a cute guy passed my path in fear of rejection. I remember feeling like a burden; an unwanted piece of something, that was better off hiding so as not to disturb others.

To this day I sometimes still retract; hide in a corner. Frightened that my company is unwanted; a burden on someone else. I don’t dare to open up and show the beauty that is me. I don’t dare to give.

If you aren’t sharing the light that is truly you. If you aren’t showing off your talents, your smile, your gorgeous, gorgeous laughter, you are doing the world, not to mention yourself, a disfavor.

The world is not here to judge you – the world is here to love you.  The world is not here to put you down – the world is here to enjoy you. The world is not here to punch you in the face – the world is here to fall in love with you. You see though, the tricky thing is for the world to enjoy you, they have to see you. For the world to receive your gifts, you have to give them. For the world to laugh at your jokes, you have to tell them. For the world to hear your stories, you have to share them. For the world to fall in love with you, you have to fall in love with the world.

And if you want for someone else to open, you have to love them open. Like a flower opens to the sun, humans open to love. That doesn’t mean there can’t be boundaries and discipline and telling someone right from wrong, that too is love, but without love all is empty. Without love we all close up. And so, you also have to love yourself open, so that you can see the beautiful you. So that the world gets a chance to enjoy you and you get a chance to enjoy the world.

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If you ever…this is for you… (to the unsung heroes of bad first time sex…)

Congressional Gold Medal awarded to Navajo Cod...

Congrats!!

Did you ever have bad first time sex? Or spilled a drink on the first date? Did you ever fail an exam? Or got fired? Did you ever screw up? Then this one is for you…

I think we deserve gold medals for the disasters we have endured. Everyone who makes it to the top gets praise, but isn’t it when we are at the bottom that we need some motivation? Someone telling us that we are gold worthy? The fact that we managed to survive whatever trauma (like spilling coffee all over the potential to-be boss’ Armani suit) makes us gold worthy in an instant. Last time I went for an interview, someone complimented my high heels just as I got caught up in them. I literally stumbled whilst saying “Thank you.” Not to mention first time sex…ever tried getting stuck in mousetraps? And that was probably the best first time sex I ever had…I’m a natural disaster. If first impressions last I’m doomed to becomming a spinister unless I start preaching no sex before marriage.

It’s so easy to praise people who do well and they sure as hell deserve the praise, but so do all of us that are trying to sort out one area, or other, of our lives. Maybe you need to hear that you shouldn’t make that same mistake again (do not walk into a dark room when there are mousetraps lying around), but what you need is faith that next time you will do better and that you have the capacity to do just that. That you are a shining star. To hear that you are an idiot, whom should have known better and that these patterns of not thinking before you act really are so harming your life and shouldn’t you have learnt by now…well, that just crushes your spirits.

Sometimes I want to escape some areas of my life. Like my love life. I don’t have a smashing past. But as soon as I think about that, it reinforces it. To change my present, I need to change my thoughts around it. I am not addicted to players…I am addicted to loving, caring men, who truly love me and show up for me. I have a great heart, that will know when the right men arrive. I have faith in my innate knowledge to know whom to trust.

They say a tiger doesn’t change its stripes, but I have changed mine a hundred times, or more, only because I started believing I was someone else and acting from that place. I had a belief I was that person. I had a belief I deserved to be that person.

You have to find that place inside of you, that healthy place, where you are whom you want to be and act from that place. Not from a place of lack, or fear, but from a place of abundance. Of joy. Of love. Of faith.

The best gift you can give someone is faith in themselves. An ability to love themselves. So go on then: sprinkle some praise on the peeps in your life. It doesn’t cost a dime, but it breeds miracles.

This is for the unsung heroes of everyday life. Those of us who fight, but don’t always win. Those of us that need a hug, a cuddle, a sprinkle of love and a sincere belief that we can do what we most wish to do. That we have the capability to be whom we choose. Let’s face it: if you survived all that, you are destined for greatness, because you are already a hero, a survivor of the fight.

P.S. Hey, by the way, I like you for all the smiles you’ve shared and all the joy you’ve brought to this world.

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People look better covered in chocolate…

A chocolate bar and melted chocolate. Chocolat...

Mmmmmm....

Feels like my heart has melted like chocolate on a hot sunny day…I like the feeling…it’s all warm and cozy and sweet and…indulgent. It’s an indulgent feeling to love. Love the world, others and yourself. Live in passion. Be on a mission to add a smile to someone’s day, a hug, a pat on the back and a compliment. Why, even roses to that certain someone!

I have been so self-conscious my whole life about who I am and what people think of me. I have never before just relaxed, enjoyed myself and enjoyed others. I have never set about my day to just give, rather than worry about what I get. As a result I have often felt frightened, sad and lonely. Now, opening up to the world, I feel like every day is…well an indulgent pleasure! It’s like I can let go of all the sadness. Sure there are moments when I get grumpy – awakening from a dream this morning I was not in a glorious mood. Then I smiled and let it drop. I went with the sunshine of the day, instead of holding onto an old cloud!

It’s the same when I miss people, or feel drawn to someone who isn’t necessarily drawn to me – I feel it’s OK. It’s OK because with an open heart I know I will feel my way forward. It’s OK to love freely because I don’t have to get stuck up on things. I have to take initiative to move forward, I have to be open to the people in my life, but that’s it. No holding on for dear life, or forcing things to happen. I was talking to a guy last week and as he walked off (after I had turned a nice shade of red and smiled brighter than the sunshine) I thought to myself “Damn, maybe I should have hinted a bit more there…” And I had a certain pang of disappointment as I meet guys I find that hot maybe once every six months. However, the setting wasn’t conducive for me to start flirting with him madly and I got enough smiles out of him to know that at least, we had a good chat.

I was never one to leave things to chance…what I want I pursue. However, pursuing something with fear in your heart is no fun. There is little room for playfulness, even if what you are pursuing is your favorite playmate, or your favorite game (business). Fear, worry…scarcity thinking is painful…and daft. When you let go, go with the flow, still pursuing, but without fear, without forcing things to happen…that’s when the magic happens. It’s the calmness in your heart knowing that whatever comes, it’s OK. It’s fine because you are following your heart. Sooner or later things will fall into place (…and maybe not the place you had imagined at first…), if not in this instant.

So yeah, here I am – a piece of chocolate melting in the sunshine…feeling all gooey, soft and nice. Smiles to you all and lots of chocolate madness coming your way ;0)

 

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I said hello, you fool, I love you…come on and join the joyride…

Yeah, I’m quoting Roxette. It’s alright. I have an excuse: I’m Swedish. When walking around town the other day my best friend looked at me and did a little jump: “I love you,” she said and laughed. I told her I loved her too. It’s emotional discomfort month and I had forgotten to tell her I loved her thus far that day. She has taken such a joy in this habit she now reminds me if I forget to say it.

People change with love. Their features soften. Their smiles shine brighter. Their hearts grow warmer. They look cozy, comfortable and inviting.

A Thing About You

Image via Wikipedia

When you see beauty…..a smile, a look, a touch of that thing……….when you see something you love, do you share that? Do you tell the person what beauty you just caught a glimpse of? Do you invite them to open the door to their inner gorgeousness just a tad more? Do you open that door yourself? Do you allow yourself to feel happy about who you are? Do you invite others to see the beauty that is you?

I don’t know darlings, but this emotional discomfort month is changing my life…and that of those around me. I feel…I feel more alive. More on fire. More like a light rather than a shadow. More intense. More awake. More pulsating and warm. More free. I’m not just sharing my opinions, I’m sharing my emotions, my love and my heartfelt desires with the world. The jail I always felt captured me is now crumbling to dust. I am free.

By complimenting someone you are setting them free from their worst demons: their own disbelief in themselves. Their own negative thoughts are being conquered. They think you are their mirror. If you display joy, they will believe they are joy. If you display love, they will believe they are love. If you smile, they will think they are the reason for your smile.

Maybe your love alone will not transform the entire world…yet it will because everything you touch, that is capable of feeling your touch, will turn to gold. And that gold in turn will turn other things into gold. Your warmth will spread. Your light will brighten the night sky and you will be surrounded by your own light.

And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while…’cuz you are amazing just the way you are…

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Knock baby, knock, knock…

You know the feeling right? When you hear that knock on the door…your heart stops for a while to listen…then beats a tad faster as you are wondering “Who could it be?” You throw a glance in the mirror and try to untangle your hair and get the chocolate off your upper lip… Then you stand up a bit taller and pull the door open.

When I was a kid I remember my new school teacher telling me that a few houses away lived another girl who was one year older. So at the age of six, I happily walked over, knocked on the door and asked if we could play. In the summers the kids on the other boats we were sailing with would come knock on the boat. In the winters my friends would come knock on our door… A knock meant play time. A knock meant good times. A knock meant a friend.

Someone knocked on our door last week. I opened to find a friend outside and was happily surprised. He had said he was gonna come round that week. I don’t know if it was because my best friend invariably fails to keep her cell phone on, or because he didn’t think it necessary, but we didn’t know he was coming just then. I liked it. I liked the surprise element and the familiarity of “just dropping by.”

I missed our Greek popstar/Buddhist monk like mad when he went back to Greece as I was so used of having him run in the door, pull my hair and get me to run up the Canyon cursing through closed lips that I had decided to join him up hill in the blazing sunshine. Not that I had a choice. In fact I was used to having him run into our house at any given hour…I once awoke confused by having someone jumping up and down in my bed. The other day he came back and I was thanking my lucky star if so only for a few weeks we get to have someone running into our house and dragging us out the door at unexpected hours.

I still remember once last year, my best friend dragged home our other best friend after class and we sat talking to the small hours. It’s those unexpected get-togethers…the ones where you search the fridge and freezer for something to serve, you pull out the left overs, you sip the last drops of wine…the ones where you end up talking till dawn about the small things in life that make a difference. It’s then that secrets are shared and laughs to be heard echoing down the street…

There’s of course a difference between gate crashing and knocking. You gotta knock for someone to answer…

I love that knock on the door. I love the extra beat my heart makes. I love having a good friend over. I love putting a kettle on the stove as they sit down in the sofa and space out as they get hypnotized by the view.

Sometimes it’s not a knock on the door, it’s a beeping phone, or an email, a Facebook message, a tweet, a blog comment…it’s 21st century madness…but it’s still a knock. A knock on the door to someone’s heart. And if it’s to mine, I will invariably smile!

Come over. Tell me where your heart is hurting, where it needs healing and where it is jumping for joy, where it is loving like never before…share a bit of who you are…what makes you tick…share a bit of the beauty of your soul.

Maybe don’t just pull…knock first…then you have the chance of someone opening their heart, their soul…what could be a better gift???

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To all the gorgeous people in my life…

The only way to allow someone to come home is to set them free. When I was younger I didn’t realize that. I thought that you had to have promises, or guarantees that if someone went for a walk they’d come back. And if I was in a relationship I wanted to know that they’d focus one hundred percent on making it work. I guess I was frightened of what would happen if they didn’t. Today I see it differently. If someone wasn’t one hundred percent focused on making it work I would be the one to leave. I also think promises are valid only up to a point. Life keeps changing.

A friend of mine was dating someone for a while. Every day when they met they would look each other in the eye to see if the other person was still there and seek out who they truly were. I thought that was beautiful.

It’s easy to get stagnant in life, or in relationships. A friend’s friend invented a game filled with questions, just because he wanted to remind himself that whenever he thought he knew his partner, he was wrong. He wanted to always keep searching her mind, body and soul for what he didn’t know. That too, to me, is beautiful.

This year I have met so many different people, old and new, that I have connected with in so many different ways. There are people whom intrigue me, there are people whom I always know when they will contact me, there are people whom I have discovered in ways I never thought I’d discover, there are people whom I miss dearly…there are just so many different connections. One thing I learnt this year is that there is indeed a “type” of men I have been known to fall for. Six pack, outgoing, charismatic, charming, cheeky, life of the party type of guy. Yet, I was talking to a friend the other night and suddenly realized although there have been flings and love interests in the last few years there’s only one guy I actually cared for, the rest I was attracted to. A true connection with someone is very different from pure attraction. And true connections aren’t necessarily flawless stereotypes. Love is an interesting thing.

To all my wonderful friends and family out there – thank you for an interesting journey, you make my life in so many ways!!!

People are like a box of secrets…yummy delights…

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