Category Archives: Life

Tender loving care and frustrating thoughts…

There was one day last year when I felt a little bit embarrassed and all I wanted to do was go hide in my best friend’s kitchen. Only she was in Greece. And I was frustrated.

I wanted my best friend. I wanted to cook with her and laugh with her and host dinner parties with her. Like it’s supposed to be. Only it hasn’t been like that for years because we live in different countries. We don’t share a house anymore and our friends no longer come marching over saying we’re “the hostesses that are the mostestes”. And it sucks.

That particular day it sucked even more because I felt humiliated as something had happened that touched upon an old wound. So I wanted to be with someone who made me feel loved for who I am and who would laugh together with me at the ridiculous thoughts we have surrounding old wounds. I wanted someone who made me forget my pain, in short. Because I really didn’t want to face it.

Today I woke up exhausted – my boy is scared of ghosts and he won’t sleep unless he sleeps next to me, or his sister. He was raised in a township and he never had a bed of his own till he came to stay with me and he still hates it. We’re working through this issue, but in the meantime to save myself from horrid tantrums at bedtime he either falls asleep in the couch in my bedroom and then wakes up and sleeps in my bed, or he sleeps next to me or his sister all night. Last night he slept next to me, so I couldn’t sleep properly and woke up exhausted with a headache.

I was irritable and I felt horrible. All I could think was that I wanted someone to hug me and look after me so I could relax. I didn’t want to clean up the mess after the kids, work and attend meetings. I wanted to be pampered. And given I’d never sink so low as to admit to wanting a man that’s like not cool. According to my ego, it’s so not cool.

What’s more, I was irritated with myself because I’ve been so happy lately and I wasn’t prepared to face a day of being a grumpy old fart. After three years of battling problems the size of Mount Everest I’ve finally turned a leaf and then…I’m grumpy? As someone with a history of depression I do not like gray days. I do not like them one bit.

So I clearly wanted TLC, which I didn’t want to admit to, but it would be a quick fix for my intolerable mood. And I wasn’t going to get it. Which was frustrating as hell. It was like wanting to go to see my best friend and knowing that it would take months before it happened (though now it’s just TWO weeks!!!!!!). I might be decent at magicking up men, but the same day? Besides, I’ve promised myself not to do it like that anymore because like The mousetrap… will clarify, when I magick up men…

With no snuggle party in sight and me wanting to hit myself in the head with an iron skillet for wanting one in the first place, I decided to do the next best thing: use my intuition (OK so that’s like the first thing to do, not the second, but hey…).

Intuition fucking rocks. Whilst it might not immediately relieve you of your headache or sexual frustration (take your pick) it does help you see the obvious solutions you couldn’t see when focusing on all the illogical logic brought to you by an overwhelming stream of thoughts and emotions.

Today I realized I can still create magic, even when I’m tired and have a headache. I’m not “bad” because I run out of energy. I’m still a magic pixie who can throw about my fairy dust when I look upon the world like poetry. I can choose my focus and instead of focusing on my frustration at being tired, I can look upon the same mountain I looked upon yesterday feeling inspired. I can still write poetry and marvel at the beauty of life. There are also ways to recharge that will truly recharge me – I realized that I need to relax in nature, which I fully intend to do this weekend.

I want my best friend to spend more time with me, even when I’m in the best of all possible moods. I genuinely miss her like crazy and I know we have to take responsibility for spending more time together instead of bitching about being apart. She’s one of the people who make me feel free because she allows me to be me, as described in Painting the sky with stars… However, she’s not an excuse to hide from my pain and thereby avoid dealing with it.

And whilst I need to face up to the fact that we all need TLC and open myself up to that, no matter how humiliating I think it feels, I can’t run myself to the ground and then expect someone else to pick up the pieces.

We all need to take responsibility for our own lives and emotions, whilst simultaneously accept that no matter where we are along the way, we’re worthy hugs. Big juicy hugs. And I would really love some.

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Image Source: https://za.pinterest.com/pin/507780926719627960/

 

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Filed under Life, Love, Thoughts, Uncategorized

The possible dream…

Today I came across a lighthouse, beneath which you find a lookout spot named Sueño Posible. I would like to go there one day and look out across the map of stars, as the waves caress the beach, knowing that what is possible is so much more than we could ever dream of in any one moment. I would like to think about how lucky I am to have another day to explore. Another day where I forget worries, the should haves and the have nots. I would like to stand there content, knowing I am where I’m happy to be. Knowing that I made my dreams possible. 

Yet, today I look upon my life and the worries, the should haves and the have nots and I feel eternally blessed, because it is but one day of many. The beach is around the corner and the mountains look powerful when they stand out as silhouettes in the night sky. The moon lights up the various paths and the stars twinkle with delight. There is no Sueño Posible here. This is not all there is to my dream. This is but a part of my dream, but around every corner of the road possibilities glistens in the night. I own the most precious dream of all: life.

These were my musings yesterday after coming across a lookout named Sueño Posible when writing an article about Puerto Escondido and contemplating my friend Tony’s bravery in fighting death. He was very sick this weekend. What we have, even if we are not content with everything in our lives is possibility. A tomorrow. And possibilities are so magical. That’s why we can never dream up all that exists in one moment, because as we grow, so do our dreams. As we walk on our path, new paths open up to us.

I had a weekend where I was tired of fighting visas, adoption rules and working for no money. I felt like I’d achieved so little, even though I’ve come so far. I felt unsatisfied. I wanted a pay check for Magique and the movies. I wanted permission granted to get the visas I need to adopt and travel. I wanted time off to enjoy the weekend, but mainly I felt my own insecurities telling me I’d achieved so little. The inspiration I normally feel for my projects was gone. And I was furious because I’d been looking forward to working on them. I longed for my friends in London, I was homesick for L.A. and wanted to go to Paris and Marrakesh, whilst having an urge to travel in general as I was writing travel articles. I remembered childhood moments when we’d go to Tenerife and such places and I always felt like I’d come home somehow. Like I could relax in the sun and soak up another way of life, that felt much more ‘homey’ to me. For me travel is a way of meditating. Of finding myself. And when I get tired I think the solution is a backpack and a ticket to anywhere. Yet, even gypsies dream of a certain level of stability – the knowledge you are making money living your dreams and when you’ve fought long enough without sufficient resources you get tired.

Then Monday morning I got an email confirming the last of the suppliers who I really wanted to work with for Magique said yes (given terms and conditions are set up) and I felt like I was flying. I see this dream of mine becoming reality. No, I don’t know if our products will sell, but when I use the products myself…man, it’s what I love! I have created something I love. I love our design, our website, our products…and it took me years to put it all together, to really fuse my vision before I made it come alive, but man it’s so nice! It’s truly what I wanted, because I finally managed to put everything I love into the brand.

My life today is filled with beauty and whilst there are hurdles, I’m so happy I have the power to create my dreams. Maybe one day I’ll get to see the Latin America I always dreamt of. But for now, I’m creating epic things right in this moment. Sueño Posible.

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Puerto Escondido. Image Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/507780926716441379/ 

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Filed under adventures in life, Death, dreams, Life, living our dreams, travel, Uncategorized

The turned on life…

Last night I went to this event. On a rooftop. Music playing. Tropical winds blowing. Stars twinkling. The silhouette of mountains as our backdrop. It was beautiful. I was happy. I was happy because I felt free. Like there were no thoughts hampering me, or holding me back. I wasn’t shy, nor trying on any attitudes to hide my fear, I was just there taking in life. I was alive. Truly alive.

And as I stood there chatting to a group of people this man goes: “You know you are a very pretty woman. A very, very pretty woman. You really are pretty you know.” A few minutes later he repeated this and when he said goodbye he said so again.

When you meet someone you don’t know what they’ve been through. You’ll likely make some assumptions. To me hearing those words last night was like a breeze of kindness sweeping over me. Not because I think I’m ugly and needed to hear I’m pretty, but because someone cared enough to compliment me.

I grew up being bullied both at home and at school. As a kid I could live off a compliment for months, because I didn’t get that many. They were like a hope – a beacon of light – promising me that maybe, maybe I was worth something after all. Most of the time I got to hear I was a geek and I should shut up, or at home that my step-sisters were fabulous and I was not. It took me many, many years to build up my confidence and heal my wounds. It took me many years to be happy just being me and trusting that there truly are kind people around.

A compliment I often receive these days is hearing I’m the most interesting person someone’s ever met and that I live the most astounding life. I feel both proud and like a bit of a fake when they tell me that though. I may have done interesting things and learnt a lot along the way, but that doesn’t mean I was happy all along, or that my day-to-day life was much more than being married to my Mac (work) or working my ass off to help some children.

I always focused on my career, because I was less scared of that. I had confidence in my abilities, but not in myself. And I love what I do, so I kept thinking I’d be happy the day I have artistic freedom – when I can run whatever projects I want. I was so frustrated having to do other things to make a living I invested all my free time in trying to build a career for myself running my own business, working on charity and making my own movies. Yet, it was always my excuse – you guys go have fun, I’ll go and work. And somewhere along the line I had enough – I want to live, not just try to make it.

I will always work double hours, I have no doubt, because I really do love the projects I run, but I will take time to live too; not just through my projects but through myself. I want to dance till the small hours, drink wine with interesting people in cozy wine bars, go hiking in sun burnt hills, sip coffee and talk about artistry and discuss ideas and projects that set my heart on fire. I want to run away on impulsive trips filled with adventure and discover the scents, spices, foods and impressions of different cities and people around the globe. I want to make love till the morning, go skinny dipping in foreign seas and love freely with every inch of my being. I want friends that make my heart come alive. I want to live. In every area of my life.

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Image Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/507780926714255703/ 

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Filed under dreams, Inspiration, Inspirational, Life, Uncategorized

The naked gypsy…

It’s a new year. It’s time to get raw. Honest. Naked. Very naked.

I’m writing travel articles for a client and having random flashbacks. You know that one time nine years ago at a bus station in Gran Canaria. Or that other time having McDonalds in the harbor in Malta when I was sixteen. Visiting the Catedral de Mallorca. Some old town built into the rocks in Rhodes, which always stuck out in my memory as I loved the town. I like it natural. And then there was that time skinny dipping in Scotland, which my best friend will never let me forget. Mainly because every time I date a guy she likes, she start telling stories that are supposed to make him like me better. And for some reason she’s gotten stuck on showing men I can dance and skinny dipping in Scotland. Had it not been for all the biting midges it would have been a lot better than that one time in Hawaii…

I haven’t had the best start to the New Year, on the other hand it’s been a great start. There are some things I’m truly excited about. I’m excited about launching Magique this year – I’m currently sourcing the various components of the products here in Cape Town and it makes me smile. Soon I’ll hold our first products in my hand. Ethical. Pesticide free. Eco-friendly. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time. A very long time. Will they fly? Who knows. At least I’ll get to try it, be it in my backyard, or at Macy’s. It’s an idea that will never leave me as it’s the make-up of who I am. Whether I do it grand scale or for a select few isn’t as important to me as it is to make it. It would help if I was paid for it though – it’s been a long hard journey with a learning curve the size of Kilimanjaro getting to where I am today.

I’m thrilled about us building at Little Angels (the first phase of building that is – need a lot of investment to do it all) and have read up a lot about sustainable architecture, which is a topic which excites me a lot. I always dreamt of building a city which actually serves its function (some da Vinci quote turned me on to this when I was in my teens – he refused to work on the design for a city, or he started and quit, as they wanted to do something that meant trying to make it bigger than it had capacity for at the time. For some reason that always stuck with me. As did an obsession with da Vinci – the first proper portrait I ever drew was of him when I was like twelve). And just imagine – electricity in winter. A proper roof. No raining in. Actually being able to have classes in the evenings. No more Liezl with pneumonia. A center that serves its purpose. It’s kind of epic.

I finished one feature film script and am halfway through another. Now that makes me excited too. You have no idea. I’ve got a seven scripts in one month goal. When I write, I write. It’s just I haven’t done much writing for myself in the past few years. When I do I feel like I’m flying. Like I’m alive. Like I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing – telling stories. I have a similar feel working on the Magique brand – it’s the stories come alive. The movie and fairy tale magic in real life.

On the other hand the twins’ family have their moments – from murderers to drug addicts. And one of their moments included giving the kids away to other relatives without consulting me, or even letting said relatives know I exist. I heard it through the grapevine through someone who thought this was not the way to go about things. I had a tentative talk to their guardian about it today, so we will see how things go. Miss T has been away the entire holiday and I’ve had Mr T for the most part. I had a smaller meltdown having to hand him back on New Year’s Day for two days and he looked miserable. I picked him up today and the idea of never picking them up again… I start crying if I think about it, so I don’t. I just move forward.

I found a new place to live just before the holidays, the first place I’ve enjoyed in years, only to find out that the landlords changed their minds and want to go back to AirBnB living. There was also an issue with the wifi, so I had to go into their house to use it, as it couldn’t be fixed over the holidays. As a result they felt I imposed on them, even if I’d made it very clear day one that I work from home and wifi has to work and they told me to sit in a room they said they rarely use. All in all I ended up feeling like I did in my teens when I had a step-mom who didn’t exactly like me – like my home is not my home. I’m a burden. Unwanted. Touched a bit of a wound. Amazing how you can carry them with you for so long. And I’m a bit tired. The idea of packing once again, disrupting work, spending money…it isn’t very appealing.

When this all happened part of me was like – fine. I’m a gypsy. Anything I do that holds me to one place goes tits up. Any time I try to settle, the things I hold dear seem to disappear. So let me travel then. I miss Paris and want to go back to Morocco and explore Latin America and certain parts of Asia (spiritual trip). Only, I want the kids with me at least for some of it. I want to make movies and I want the kids on the set of those movies. I want to direct the youth at Little Angels. And I will never leave Magique alone. It is part of who I am.

Travel alone feels pointless. It’s not a separate part of my life – it should tie into the rest of my life, or it loses its meaning. Travel for Magique. Travel to make movies. Travel for projects. That rings true. And sometimes, maybe, you know, vacation…sexcation, lovecation, spiritualcation…somethingcation.

On Christmas Eve a woman tried to give Liezl a baby for me to raise. Quite the Christmas present. It was always my dream to do that. To be that person that would happen to. Little Angels has brought me more joy than pretty much anything else I’ve done. There were times I felt inadequate, stressed and miserable, but in the end it’s still the one thing that makes me smile. On Christmas Eve I had a sleepover for three kids who got to wake up on Christmas Day to presents. That was my dream come true. Those kids mean the world to me. And one of them, on Christmas Eve when I was skyping my family grabbed my Mac and was like “Can I tell you what Maria does for us, can I?” He was literally jumping up and down from excitement explaining to my family I help them with reading, I take them out and I’m like a mother of sorts to them and his sister very decidedly chimed in on that.

Mr T a few days later had a fright over some imaginary ghosts and was screaming “mommy” on top of his lungs till I calmed him down. He’s my kid, even if I can’t be his full time mom due to laws I’ve fought for years now. I always said I couldn’t adopt till my life was sorted, but these past two years have, all the same, been a fight to do just that.

I love those kids, just as much as I love my gypsy self. At times I’ve loathed the fact that I couldn’t just be happy doing the one thing in the one place and felt a lot of guilt about it, but it’s not who I am. I need a home to come home to and places to travel to. I need balance. I need a steady income and an, erm, travel obsessed, intelligent, kind-hearted, creative lunatic of a boyfriend (I think that would mean we’d get along, don’t you?!). I need creative freedom and stability all in one go. But one thing I’ve decided, no matter what lands on my plate this year, I will look forward. Onward and upward. I will not let myself get distracted by the negative. You gotta enjoy what you can and right this moment I’m babysitting a farm with my boy. I was chasing a rooster before, we’ve been jumping on a trampoline and now I’m gonna make some popcorn.

It’s like Wilde said: “We all live in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” And, sometimes, I think the stars come down to join us, or maybe it’s us that sparkle like stars when we do what we love, in places we love, with the people we love.

The wind is blowing. Maybe change has arrived? And one of the biggest lessons you’ll ever learn is to flow with it, whilst simultaneously walking in the direction of your dreams.

Image sources: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/507780926711621557/ and https://www.pinterest.com/pin/507780926715587865/ 

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Filed under Goals, Life, Spirituality, Uncategorized

Let’s sexy it up…

When I started this blog I had this idea that life was better with sex and humor. I could write deep, meaningful thoughts about my life. Or I could write deep meaningful thoughts about my life sprinkled with humor and sex.

I still think it’s better with sex and humor.

I think life can and should be magical, cozy, cute, wonderful, beautiful, sexy, sassy, gorgeous, filled with laughter and hot tub moments.

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That would be me, having a little bit of fun at the latest Magique shoot.

For the past two years though I’ve witnessed a lot of sides of life that are not all that pretty. Working in a township and getting personally involved with many people in the township, I’ve experienced first hand what it can be like to face the cruelty of life.

I’ve had moments when I just couldn’t understand life at all. We can start with something as simple as animals eating animals. Why is that? Or why do diseases exist? Or why, oh why, does corruption exist?

I don’t know. It stinks that these things do exist.

Still, we were given this life. This life with all in it. And shit will happen. Hell will break lose. There will be sadness. But there’s also magic, music, laughter, friendship, hugs, sexiness and all that jazz (and Fosse. Let’s not forget Fosse).

We have to choose our focus time and time again. At one point this year I realized it was up to me – I could either act as a beacon of hope, joy and love for others, or I could get caught up in the emotional trauma of everyone else.

It was an obvious choice I had to make, but it wasn’t an easy choice. I still get upset. I still freak out about things emotionally. The difference is I let it go.

I choose to let it go. I believe it’s what the Buddhists call non-attachment. I call it keeping the mind out of the gutter. Like Wilde said – it’s better focusing on the stars. Or on the sex (which is a more glamorized version of the gutter…). Depending on how you see it.

Let’s not give of ourselves to causes, situations, or people, because it makes us sad, but rather because we know we can bring joy. Because we can bring something to someone else, the world and to ourselves.

Cry when shit hits the fan. Or have a go at the nearest pillow (just the other day some Excel to Numbers conversion had me do just that. Doesn’t take much to provoke me when it comes to Excel sheets…as much as I love the program for bringing order to many parts of my life and business, I much prefer wordy descriptions, images and the creative stuff. The alive stuff. The juicy bits. Keynote, in other words…). Don’t think there will be no pain and sidestep it when it comes – let it out. Then shift your focus.

The thing is, you can add magic, even to the most appalling of moments in many cases. You can give your love, joy, humor…your own personal sense of magic to a situation, or a person at any one time.

You can make every moment of your life count. I always say this, but it does take a bit of effort to bring magic to life. Want a kick ass date with someone? Well, then for the love of God come up with one! People hope life will be like the movies, without having any inclination to create the kind of magic they see on the big screen. Want magic? Create it. (Which is why I started Magique. Well, one of the reasons why.)

The truth is we have limited time with everyone. Just another phone call with someone, might be your last phone call with them. It might also be the last time you hug them, have sex with them, laugh with them, dine with them and so forth. So make it count.

Put your own personality out there too. Like Mae West said: “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” (Though this is not an excuse to post your naked pictures on every forum there is. Let’s just be clear.)

At one point I was really upset with my friend Tony having cancer. Then one day, through the tears, I saw a picture of his girls that I’d taken that day. It made me feel privileged. Privileged to be part of their life. To have those two, Tony and his girlfriend, in my life. To bring them something. So be it, it’s only a hug. But we all know that hugs matter, don’t we? At least the look on his daughter Nickla’s face the other day when seeing me for the first time after about two months away was priceless – the kid jumped up and ran into my arms. That, to me, is worth it all.

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One day I was talking to Tony, stressing about a trip to Joburg and another to LA. I was stressed about the amount of things I had to do, before I had to leave. Then it hit me that Tony might never get to see these places. And how privileged I was just to have that much choice. To be able to work. To be able to travel. To have hope. And to have people I care about.

If you want to help us add some joy to Tony’s life, please support out Indiegogo campaign here: https://www.generosity.com/fundraisers/your-old-bling-in-exchange-for-helping-a-family/share 

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Filed under Beating Cancer, Inspiration, Inspirational, Life, Life in the Township, Motivation, Uncategorized

When a door is closed, a window is opened…

Something I realised last week is that disappointment always stings like hell. And at first it’s easy to get angry, sad, frustrated, or heartbroken (depending on the situation). We’re seemingly wired to want quick solutions.

Like last week someone told me they couldn’t do some of my financial projections any longer due to some other client needing their time. They’d said yes to doing them two weeks earlier and I needed them asap. I got angry, because I’d slaved to get the numbers ready so I could get someone to edit them and spruce it up a bit as soon as possible. And there I was two weeks later with nothing. I knew I had to start all over again with finding someone new for the numbers and receiving them that week was no longer going to happen. Likewise, I spoke to someone about being the COO for flipping three months and it didn’t work out. Did I feel like I’d had my time wasted? You have no idea.

I was really frustrated last week because the sooner I have the numbers, the sooner I can do various things and I soon leave for the US and have meetings I wanted to get done before leaving. I had perceived pressure.

So my first impulse was anger fueled by disappointment.

Of course I realized straight away that anger was futile. I thought I might as well just crack on with finding someone new. I might end up with someone better. And I did find someone, of course. If they’re better I don’t know. What I do know is that business is about playing the cards you’re dealt. Business is filled with obstacles. All the time. The fun is partly finding solutions. I like that game, but when I really count on something to happen and I believe I will get a pay off from it, I too get frustrated. And right now I have pretty much my whole life invested in my business.

Life is ever changing. We want the guy, the job, the investment, the whatever to work out. We want it so that our dreams come true. So that we can live the life we dream of. But these things often take turns we never could have predicted. As a result we either enjoy the journey moving forward, or we get stuck in not so pleasant emotions surrounding events we perceive as negative in the current moment. And it’s not always that it’s something like one event, sometimes we are seemingly surrounded by things that don’t seem so nice. You need to learn to see that from a perspective too. If there is one thing working in a township and helping with the twins have taught me it’s that. If I’d allow myself to get caught up in what’s happening around me I’d be suffering constantly. I fell for that trap last year and have spent the past six months trying to see what I give, not what I can’t change.

It’s a real art to be able to move forward happily at all times. Especially when you feel pressure around something. But no matter how real that pressure is, there’s always something beyond it. You might lose your job because someone else fucked up. You might lose an investment. You might lose a guy because you screwed up. You might lose a lot of things. But there is something beyond that. Maybe something better. Maybe some struggle before you reach that something better. We don’t know. I’ve heard a lot of people say “there’s a meaning with it” when they fuck up their life in the same way they’ve been fucking it up for the past twenty years, living out the same patterns. We need to stop and evaluate. Sometimes we have to make changes. We also need to stop weaving negative meaning into things though. Bad things are not necessarily as bad as they seem. Tomorrow you might score platinum after losing gold today. It’s just you don’t feel that yet. So you’re not happy yet.

Something I learnt in my teens when some law was changed and I was refused entry to the high school program I wanted because of it, is that when a door closes a window is opened. I chose a different program. The laws were then changed again, but I stuck with the International Baccalaureate. And today I live the international life I chose back then. I loved the IB. They had way too little arts in my school, but it was the first time I felt I was in a place were I belonged. Amongst the international ones.

So remember, even when you lose what you hold dearest, there will be a tomorrow. Just like there was a yesterday when you hadn’t even met what you came to hold dearest. Love in all shapes and forms (jobs, people, situations) is everywhere. If you only open your window to it.

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Image Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/507780926714436912/ 

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Filed under Life, Personal Development, Spirituality, The Power of Now

The magic of sunrise…

There’s nothing quite like sunrise to me. The feeling of the world coming alive; refreshed and sparkling in morning light.

This morning there was a particularly nice sunrise as a thunderstorm was hovering in the horizon. I was up bright and early just after 5am (dawn is my favorite hour), having received a ton of emails from WordPress warning me about login attempts to Magique‘s site. Consequently I updated security configurations, changed the password, etc. I also updated some plugins. Then I set about fixing some work and needed something from Magique’s site, so went to the site…only to find that all the text configurations of the site had been overwritten. My site was purple. The text. And the font was awful, together with some other aesthetics. I did what one can only expect – I freaked. Had a plugin overwritten my entire site (because the settings said something different than what was displayed), or was it hacked?

I had to go to a meeting and simply decided to chill. Whether there was a mysterious error, or the site had been hacked…I changed the password (again) and left home. I did not look forward to the prospect of manually having to edit elements of the site if that was the case or hiring someone to do so, but I could either have a bad day or move forward with things.

I chose the latter.

When I started building Magique’s site I had no clue how to do it. I know how to blog on WordPress and do some simple edits and use some plugins/widgets. The rest? I couldn’t even make the buttons work to change some basic features. I clicked and nothing happened.

A few weeks later I had built the site. All. By. Myself.

I’m very visual so to have someone else design my site didn’t feel right. I also knew I would have to be able to edit it myself. So somehow, by doing a lot of clicking buttons, I taught myself to edit the site into what you see today.

And today you see a site without purple text because after contacting the guys at BeTheme I found out that Jetpack overwrites the site settings unless you update to the latest version of BeTheme.

I can breathe again. Potential investors will not find a site that looks like it’s been designed by a two year old.

Business and motherhood are alike – you encounter a lot of situations you find challenging, or that you aren’t familiar with (or maybe that’s because I help raise kids from the township), but there is no such thing as “I can’t do it.” Because you have to do it. And either you honor yourself and your life whilst doing it, disconnecting from emotions that don’t serve you, or you get caught up in a tornado. Which is something I blogged about today on LinkedIn – With Sunrise Possibilities Arise – a Look at the Thoughts That Run Your Business and Life. Read. Enjoy. Tell me what you think.

LinkedIn Maria Montgomery

By Maria Montgomery. CEO and Founder of Magique

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