There are things that turn you on right?! I mean you know what they are, don’t you? Do you actually do those things though?
Years ago I learned that there are certain principles that work when creating a life you love, yet I don’t necessarily use them. It’s like knowing what turns you on and never doing it. You know the base principle, but you don’t get around to applying it. It’s a waste of the perfect opportunity for a great sex life.
Now the stuff I learned was:
- Focus creates reality.
- Structure has integrity.
- Thoughts and feelings aren’t real.
- Act from the heart/intution.
- What would I love to create?
- Hang with the tension.
Do you ever act out of fear for what might happen if you don’t? I do. All the time. Only that’s not quite right is it? Because my focus is on what I fear. So what am I truly looking to create?
What I should be doing is finding out what I want to create and act to achieve that. Now my focus is on what I want. Now I can create what I desire instead of avoiding what I don’t want and all along thinking about what I don’t want and most likely therefore creating that.
Still, things can go wrong.
For example, I could start to manipulate people to get what I want, instead of acting from the heart when creating it. In which case things can go really wrong, because you’re creating things that don’t ring true to other people’s hearts. Think of it this way: you know you want a great CEO for your company. That’s true to your heart. Then you realize one of your friends is looking for a job and they happen to be an amazing CEO with no passion for your business. You need a CEO and suddenly you aren’t checking in with your heart anymore — you just see this great CEO friend of yours and as you really need a CEO and need one now you’re set on getting them on board. Especially as they were really successful in their last venture so your ego is singing hallelujah.
So you try to convince them. Then you beg. You might use tactics like provoking their guilt, or increasing the pay check. You might even make yourself sick with worry and ask them to please stand in for you while you are sick. And how could they refuse now?
That kind of behavior can create a landslide of trouble as no one is acting from their heart so you have a dispassionate CEO who is likely resentful having to do what they don’t want to do.
Similar things happen in dating all the time — instead of speaking from the heart people try all sorts of tactics to get people interested in them. It ranges from sexual manipulation, to being needy. Sexual exploration isn’t wrong, asking for someone’s help isn’t wrong, but using it to get a person involved with you without clear communication is wrong.
So once you know what you want, you need to focus on that. Because the more you focus on it, the more energy you will give it and the more likely you are to create it. Sit thinking about how hopeless life feels and chances are you won’t have any energy to create.
Then you have to go after what you want with integrity — always acting from the heart, using your intuition as a guide.
Along the way things will probably get pretty uncomfortable. To get what you never had you have to do what you never did. Most of us have wounds and scars and avoid certain things like the plague. Personally I have a strong dislike of speaking about emotions and standing up for myself. To avoid it I’ve used plenty of manipulation and aloofness in the past. Those were faulty mechanisms to try to protect myself from what I felt was uncomfortable.
This is where you need to hang with the tension. Your thoughts and feelings aren’t real — they are projections based on your past, or simply interpretations of life. You can choose to see things differently and therefore feel something different.
As for structure, everything in life has some sort of structure. If you want to create a certain result, you need a structure that supports it. For example, if when dating people you usually start having a lot of thoughts that it will never work out around week three, or month five, or whatever, then you will always break it up then, unless you create another structure. Say, you hire a coach that asks you if those thoughts and feelings are actually real and coming from your heart, or you’re acting from your wound.
If you keep acting from your wound, instead of putting a new structure in place, you’ll keep getting the same results.
Likewise, if you want to change your finances, or your work results, you need structures in place that help you do so. If you want to get fit, but was never motivated to do so, then you need a new structure. Such as a personal trainer who makes sure you go to the gym, an app that tracks your progress, a friend that keeps your accountable, or a new activity that you are actually excited about.
In the last year I’ve also heard my coach say over and over again that the person with the biggest hard on wins (yes, that’s a metaphor) and I believe this is another principle I should be applying in my life. If you are constantly manipulated by other people’s energy, if your focus shifts from the results you wish to create to whatever energy is around you (be it a flat tyre, or an irritated boss), you will never achieve your results. Your energy needs to be strong enough to carry you through (see yesterday’s blog for more on this topic). It will help to have the right structures in place to support you, but you also have to keep your focus on things that inspire you enough to move forward. Focus creates reality.
That’s it folks. I’m clearly obsessing about what’s turning me on right now, being in the end result of creating it. With, you know, some dude who gets me.
Dizzy blonde, over and out.
Image Source: https://za.pinterest.com/pin/507780926729381962/