Category Archives: Women

Hot, naughty nights…let’s steam it up… (…from handcuffs to truth or dare…)

Mike gave me this Valentine gift 45/365

Unlock someone's desires...

There’s a storm brewing…ohhh…light the fire, get the hot chocolate on the stove (and don’t forget the chili!!!)…or maybe popcorn and a movie??? In either case I love the wild wind blowing, the wind chimes singing along and the general sense of…freedom it brings. Fly with the wind…let it bring spice and magic from around the world…you know, how you can get a taste of adventure just by standing in the middle of the storm, knowing it’s traveled very, very far…

Now this whole stormy affair reminds me of a friend asking me what he could do for his girl on Valentine’s (fire, chocolate, hiding under blankets during a storm…classic date night). Here are some ideas…just bear in mind: everyone has different needs and wants (ask and you usually get an answer) and there’s a time and place for everything (but you can always be prepared!). To try to sweep your partner off their feet for a dream date when they have had a lousy day at work and want to sleep…not so good. Above and beyond all: for anything to work your energies have to match. Most of these ideas are maybe not for first, second or third dates…you have to be comfortable with one another and you have to be in love, or willing to fall in love…or at least in bed…with each other!

1) Kidnap someone in a loving way. Blindfold them (well, at least for the last bit of the ride…), tie up their hands with a silk wrap and transport them to a secret love-cation spot. Would be a pro if the spot is very private, sexy and wild. If it is your apartment, please make it lovecation like (clean it up, have the candles ready, the massage oil, the dinner you will cook including desert, the sexy or romantic movies, whatever sexy lingerie you/your date should wear, potential naughty presents, rose petals in bed or handcuffs/toys, or both, depending on what you like…and, oh, the whipped cream!)

2) Have a silent date. Take your loved one to a sacred place in nature somewhere, a cottage, a camping place, or maybe just a long walk. Spend time together communicating without using words. Maybe play with blindfolding too, building trust between the two of you (classic drama school exercise!!).

3) The naughty student/school teacher date. It’s time to explore the subjects of love and sex… Get that polished schoolboy/school girl look and indulge in your favorite topics… Whether you get some interesting books/DVDs to watch together, share what you truly want, or attend seminars/courses (from love languages to tantra), this is a way to expand your knowledge to build a closer relationship…and to grow!!! Besides, secret desires sounds like a pretty yummy subject to me!…

4) Genie in a bottle…you simply promise to do whatever your partner wants you to do…within reason… (They may need a few days to think this through…)

5) Simplicity…a picnic basket…walking barefoot along the beach…watching the sunset…magical.

6) Spoilicious…your partner comes home, the bath is ready, the kettle is on the stove, soon the wine will be corked open, dinner served, a long massage offered…and then…maybe…you should go to bed… (Of course, you can do it all naked, should you wish, or in a flowy summer’s dress, or in leather…whatever tickles your taste buds….)

7) Tickling tastebuds….feed someone dinner in bed, maybe blindfold them, maybe don’t…food orgie…or something…

8.s.) The photography/drawing session…(yes, I stole this from Titanic…Leo makes lasting impressions…) You could go to a professional photographer to get romantic, or erotic photos of the two of you, or you can take photos of each other. Or do nude/half-dressed paintings of one another. I dabble in photography all the time, so I love catching people on film, or drawing their portraits, because it is an intimate affair – you get to know someone through their face and body, but of course, not everyone like this… (And uh, lock up the negatives…just in case…)

9) Together plan the most erotic trip you could ever imagine…I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure you do…

10) Have a box where you both put notes of what dates you’d love…and then pick one ever so often.

11) Buy someone a parcel filled with naughty goodies…and put it to good use!

12) There is, in a sense, nothing more romantic than getting to know someone…to have a day where you spend the whole day asking each other questions about life, about your dreams, desires, fears, inhibitions…where you bond mentally is amazing. Even if you think you know someone: think again. Pick up a game that is all about asking questions, if you can’t think of any. Or google it…lol! And then maybe continue to explore each others bodies…do dancing together, whether alone or in a class…and of course, kiss, or touch every square millimeter of each other…

13) The letter date…for a week avoid seeing your partner and instead send him/her letters, or emails, about all your innermost thoughts, what you love about them (yes, truly, we all want to hear it) and what you would love to do together with them (and I mean naughty…real naughty…or romantic…)… (And if you really hate writing, leave voice mails.)

14) Explore areas of life together, or build something together…developing together is one of the most rewarding things one can do as friends, or lovers. Whether you attend yoga, or ceramics class together, start a company or go on a spiritual journey, rebuild a house in the French countryside (ahem) or cook a meal, go back-packing or on a road trip (if the man wants to visit all the famous football arenas and the woman the famous theaters…well, do a deal)…life is yours to create together. It is when we lose track of each other that we grow apart. To evolve and feel like you grow is important. To build something is amazing. To do it together divine. (Remember to share as you go along as well: to have an open heart and tell each other what you learnt, what you find difficult, what you enjoy, etc. To really share leads to feeling more bonded, more close to one another. And to have the freedom to say what you want, knowing you will be heard and understood is often vital. So is telling your partner that today you really have nothing to say, or want to spend time alone.)

15) The laughter date. Comedy night, comedy movie, paintball, mud fights, buying clothes for each other at a second-hand shop (found the second-hand idea online, simply brilliant!!!)…any silly thing that springs to mind…so long as it’s funny…and you can always end it with a pillow/shaving foam/bubble bath/flour/chocolate fight…you could even do it naked!…

16) The simple things in life…have a bottle of vino and make love in front of the fireplace, go to the outlook post like teenagers and make out in the car, sit in the hot tub and tell dirty stories, read out loud…poetry or erotica…your pick, show up with lunch at someone’s work…naked underneath the coat…or just for a romantic moment fully clothed, have a picnic in the garden, take the car and drive to a cheap motel, wander the streets of Venice under the full moon, go on sexcation in Paris, sneak a romantic note to someone at breakfast telling them what you will do for dinner, do the classic dinner and movies night, get dressed up to your teeth to go out at a fancy bar, whisper naughty things in someone’s ear during the very stuck up date/party you are on, take a bottle of wine to the beach, surprise someone with their favorite meal, dance naked under the moon, whisper secrets in each others’ ears as you watch the stars twinkle at night……

17) Someone brings the ingredients, you cook it together….you can always add some extra…saucy ingredients in the mix, which have nothing to do with cooking…and you have the added benefit of being able to do it in your underwear…

18) The horror movie night…says it all: gasp, scream and jump into his arms…only I would refuse any such childish behavior…he better take me to the woods for that…

19) Watch a game. Come on…every girl must like at least one game…at least once??? Confession: I would really love that cheesy: go see a basketball game and eat a veggie dog date…cuz I grew up on American movies…

20) The Burlesque/Striptease…doesn’t require description really…make it funny, or naughty, or nice…or just attend a burlesque night, or stripclub together…

21) Breakfast in bed…classic…whether served with roses, feathers, or simply love!

22) For Easter, fill their egg with something…interesting…and a lot of aphrodisiacs too…then at dawn, the magic hour of Easter, you can open it together…or simply make up your own Easter game…

23) Skinny dipping… (steams and saunas rank pretty hot too)

24) Invent a game…then play it…the rules are up to you…and so are the tools…

25) Visit a ranch…then get on a horse together and ride off into the sunset…

26) Hot tub…no further comments…

27) Build a sand castle together…and share all your childhood dreams…

28) Volunteer together for a day…

29) Spend the evening telling your special someone you love them, in a way they would understand…

30) Show someone all your fav spots in the city, or take them to their’s…have a surprise ready at each one, or just enjoy them for what they are…

31) Striptease card games…whenever your partner wins a point s/he gets to take off a piece of your clothing…or complimenting you…or telling you their secret desires…and you may just have to fulfill them…

32) The Booty Call…or text naughtiness…in either way: you leave a message saying what you will do when they get home (whether that be naughty, or nice)…then you wait…

33) How would you like to be pampered today? Sometimes a good question gets the best answers…

34) Get a box of chocolates…wrap each individual chocolate in a note saying something romantic, or naughty, or be like a game of dares, questions, confessions, romantic treats…what have you…

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Filed under Creating, Creation, Creativity, Dancing, Dating, Inspiration, Joy, Life, Love, Men, Motivation, People, Relationship, relationships, sex, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Women

How to melt a woman’s heart…seriously….

Bryan Adams

Sing it out loud...

Two men throughout history have managed to sum it up in their lyrics….at least that I’ve come across. And it’s so damn simple. It’s almost scary. So men, listen carefully and women…tell me if I’m right???…

To really love a woman
To understand her – you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought – see every dream
N’ give her wings – if she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin’ helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman then tell her
that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman then tell her that she’s the one
’cause she needs somebody to tell her
that it’s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
– really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you –
till you know how she needs to be touched
You’ve gotta breathe her – really taste her
Till you can feel her in your blood
N’ when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
then tell her that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman then tell her that she’s the one
’cause she needs somebody to tell her
that you’ll always be together
So tell me have you ever really –
really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith – hold her tight
A little tenderness – you gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin’ good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman…

Then when you find yourself lyin’ helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman
When you love a woman you tell her
that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she’s the one
she needs somebody to tell her
that it’s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
– really really ever loved a woman?

Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman? You got to tell me
Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman?

– Bryan Adams –

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they’re not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She’s so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don’t see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she’d let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She’s so beautiful

– Bruno Mars –

Of course, I’d be happy just to get breakfast in bed and Lay, Lady Lay…

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I said hello, you fool, I love you…come on and join the joyride…

Yeah, I’m quoting Roxette. It’s alright. I have an excuse: I’m Swedish. When walking around town the other day my best friend looked at me and did a little jump: “I love you,” she said and laughed. I told her I loved her too. It’s emotional discomfort month and I had forgotten to tell her I loved her thus far that day. She has taken such a joy in this habit she now reminds me if I forget to say it.

People change with love. Their features soften. Their smiles shine brighter. Their hearts grow warmer. They look cozy, comfortable and inviting.

A Thing About You

Image via Wikipedia

When you see beauty…..a smile, a look, a touch of that thing……….when you see something you love, do you share that? Do you tell the person what beauty you just caught a glimpse of? Do you invite them to open the door to their inner gorgeousness just a tad more? Do you open that door yourself? Do you allow yourself to feel happy about who you are? Do you invite others to see the beauty that is you?

I don’t know darlings, but this emotional discomfort month is changing my life…and that of those around me. I feel…I feel more alive. More on fire. More like a light rather than a shadow. More intense. More awake. More pulsating and warm. More free. I’m not just sharing my opinions, I’m sharing my emotions, my love and my heartfelt desires with the world. The jail I always felt captured me is now crumbling to dust. I am free.

By complimenting someone you are setting them free from their worst demons: their own disbelief in themselves. Their own negative thoughts are being conquered. They think you are their mirror. If you display joy, they will believe they are joy. If you display love, they will believe they are love. If you smile, they will think they are the reason for your smile.

Maybe your love alone will not transform the entire world…yet it will because everything you touch, that is capable of feeling your touch, will turn to gold. And that gold in turn will turn other things into gold. Your warmth will spread. Your light will brighten the night sky and you will be surrounded by your own light.

And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while…’cuz you are amazing just the way you are…

Wanna join me for more dizzy blonde journeys? Click here

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I want to have sex with Tim Ferriss…

Timothy Ferriss (The 4-hour Workweek) @ etech

Tim Ferriss...

You know who I am talking about right? The man behind The 4-Hour Work Week and The 4-Hour Body. The guy’s a genius (or else the man…or woman…hiding in the bushes writing his books is) – he invented a system for working 4 hrs a week and living like a king. He also became a world champion in wrestling and speaks God knows how many languages. Maybe that’s not all that hard (right…), but he has a knack for saying things I agree with and that classifies him as a genius. Naturally.

I came across The 4-Hour Body today and it’s basically all about how to get the best body, which apparently includes sex. I didn’t have a chance to read the whole book yet, but will do as soon as possible. I did read part of the sex chapter though (what else?). Apparently female orgasms start with…well, the female. The male stimulation is only part of the equation and there are certain tricks of the trade that Mr Ferriss shares (boys, it’s time to run to the store and pick up a copy…just saying). It all starts with self-exploration. You have to know you and you have to own your own orgasm, just as you have to own everything else in your life. It all starts with you. Your life is about you.

Too many times a day I switch to auto pilot – I do and say things that aren’t necessarily serving me, but that I’m used to doing and saying. Inside my head, round and round goes the same old small talk that REALLY isn’t helping me. The worst part is that for most of it I’m not even aware of it. I’m so used to myself I don’t even notice myself. And in some ways I have “settled.” I may not be doing my best with something, or expanding my field of vision, but rather be alright with what I already have. The sex is good, so I’m sort of satisfied, right?! But what if it could be GREAT??!! What are the questions I’m not asking myself? Even if I am asking myself a lot of questions, what are the areas I’m not asking questions about? What are the imaginary limits of my mind?

I like Tim Ferriss because he questions things and he seeks to get the best results out of what he does. He does not settle for less. He isn’t run by an auto pilot (or, if so, it’s on a good setting!) and nor should you be. Start paying attention to yourself. Start getting to know who you are and what you want. Start expanding your horizon. Start finding out what the best solutions are. What have the people that are happiest in the area of life you want to get results in managed to achieve and how did they do it? Check out life from a different perspective. Try being silent for a day, or going to a new place to get a different point of view.

When Mr Ferriss wrote the chapter on sex he did extensive research. He even found a woman to volunteer to try out the new techniques he had studied on how to make women come. How cool is that? “Hey darling, I just figured out the ultimate technique for giving a woman pleasure, mind if I try it on you?” What a man.

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I know you really want to…do just that…

logo i love rock & sex

Have sex every day. That’s it. I know you want that. But what I intended to say you want is to “Do something uncomfortable every day.” That’s what Tim Ferriss says. Live on the border. Push beyond your limits. It sounds about right, it feels about…difficult. I wanna scream “But I did cold baths for five years and I have worked so many times past midnight and I have embarrassed myself enough, don’t you remember when I danced with my skirt stuck in my knickers? Isn’t it time I got a break?!!” Yet, every time I conquered a fear (random acts of stupidity like by mistake tucking your skirt into your knickers before a massive dance performance don’t count…), like telling someone I love them, I felt freer. The fear went away, because I faced it. I freed myself by doing what I wanted to do. I could then go through life not feeling restricted anymore. It’s the thing that you push into the furthest corner in bottom drawer of the most secret chamber of your heart that there’s a problem with, because…it’s stuck.

Sometimes we focus on our physical fears in this world. Few of us decide on a whim though that rather than going bungee jumping we are going to conquer all our emotional fears by telling the truth about our feelings to ourselves and others. Nor do we conquer our fear of being unloved/loved, but rather we just strive to be “better people” so that one day we will be certain to be loved AND no longer feel like we don’t deserve the love we are getting. There is also something called vulnerability that has given people a scare or two…a little bit of heart palpitations…can you feel them???

So I found this video and what I wanted to tell you all is that…uhm…you matter. You matter to every single person in your life, just like every person in my life matters to me. I have emotions (scaaaary). I love the people in my life and I love connecting with new people. Sooo…I have set myself a challenge of doing something emotionally uncomfortable every day for the next 30 days. Wanna join? I’d love to have your support on this very frightening journey…which is actually very liberating…I blogged about it last year and this is the journey I’m once again committed to. To love. Love, love, love…

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To all the gorgeous people in my life…

The only way to allow someone to come home is to set them free. When I was younger I didn’t realize that. I thought that you had to have promises, or guarantees that if someone went for a walk they’d come back. And if I was in a relationship I wanted to know that they’d focus one hundred percent on making it work. I guess I was frightened of what would happen if they didn’t. Today I see it differently. If someone wasn’t one hundred percent focused on making it work I would be the one to leave. I also think promises are valid only up to a point. Life keeps changing.

A friend of mine was dating someone for a while. Every day when they met they would look each other in the eye to see if the other person was still there and seek out who they truly were. I thought that was beautiful.

It’s easy to get stagnant in life, or in relationships. A friend’s friend invented a game filled with questions, just because he wanted to remind himself that whenever he thought he knew his partner, he was wrong. He wanted to always keep searching her mind, body and soul for what he didn’t know. That too, to me, is beautiful.

This year I have met so many different people, old and new, that I have connected with in so many different ways. There are people whom intrigue me, there are people whom I always know when they will contact me, there are people whom I have discovered in ways I never thought I’d discover, there are people whom I miss dearly…there are just so many different connections. One thing I learnt this year is that there is indeed a “type” of men I have been known to fall for. Six pack, outgoing, charismatic, charming, cheeky, life of the party type of guy. Yet, I was talking to a friend the other night and suddenly realized although there have been flings and love interests in the last few years there’s only one guy I actually cared for, the rest I was attracted to. A true connection with someone is very different from pure attraction. And true connections aren’t necessarily flawless stereotypes. Love is an interesting thing.

To all my wonderful friends and family out there – thank you for an interesting journey, you make my life in so many ways!!!

People are like a box of secrets…yummy delights…

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The wind is blowing…

They come like whirlwinds, or breezes at night. They sneak in, or they arrive with a storm. Some twirl around for a while, creating patterns, or disruptions. Others gently stroke one’s skin with tenderness. It happens they stay for an hour, a day, a year, or a lifetime. Whatever their role, you find out as you go along…twirl along.

With the years I’ve come to expect the disruptions, the tenderness, the patterns and the storms…when the wind blows and the bell chimes I know that there will be change, I just don’t know which kind.

When I was younger I always thought that the change would be the best ever. That this time it was “It.” The wind would stay, it wouldn’t suddenly move away, or cause havoc. Now I only expect change. One kind, or another.

I’ve learnt that some winds just don’t move in the same direction. You have to follow your heart, they have to follow theirs. When the hearts speak the same language, that’s when you can actually talk…fly together in a dance.

I’ve never been able to predict the winds, yet they have been very predictable because of the ways I’m blowing myself…always moving, always changing, always craving more, better, higher… Only when I’m constantly striving do I feel satisfied. Constantly moving along.

The most surprising thing is that it’s not the winds one think one will, that one ends up remembering. It’s the most unlikely of winds that actually made you change direction…change course and left an imprint on your heart…

It takes a lot of courage to fully engage with a wind, because you never know where it will take you…in which direction it will blow you…but when you let yourself go entirely you are swept off your feet in the most marvelous adventure. You experience yourself through them, with them, and you see life in a different way. You get a new pair of eyes to lend you their sights.

I love it when they sort of whistle your name, because they are so you…the pure sight of them makes you dance and twirl and…fly. Fly so high and so fast and so wonderfully deliriously exhilaratingly crazy. They are the rough, unexpected winds that leave you smiling for a long time after…or forever dancing…

Ride like the Wind

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A hero…

Black Knight #1 (May 1955). Cover art by Maneely

Image via Wikipedia

We all wanna have heroes in our life right? At least I do. Wild men riding big black horses and all that…(a motorbike will suffice). I never realized though how deeply in the unconscious the hero theme actually run in men (…or, well, in some men…). A friend of mine told me today that she awoke one night to find her boyfriend leaning over her and in a very heroic manner saying: “It’s OK baby, I’ll save you.” A hero. Well, at least in his dreams…

I wish someone came to my rescue…actually someone did today. I was going in a cab to a friend’s and I brought a bag with me. As I got there I realized I didn’t have a phone and didn’t know the code to dial the flat. So I stood by the iron gate looking confused. The cab driver immediately thought that I was “in need” and refused to take the tip I gave him – he even charged me less than the fare and offered to help me out if I was “in trouble.” Sure I was stressed, but that was a bit too much – I wondered if I looked like I was homeless? (Or just another blonde out-of-luck actress?) Five hours sleep, too much stress and caffeine? God knows.

After trying to access the internet and failing, I had no option but to climb the damn gate, which was all well, but once I got onto the wall next to it I realized that it was too far to jump down on the other side, so I had to climb back. I was saved by a gay guy with two cute dogs who finally let me in. No horse. No love at first sight. But a hero nonetheless…

There are so many everyday heroes that we forget about – from the neighbor who saved your cat (last time I tried to save a cat I climbed a very tall ladder in my best friend’s family’s garden, with a hose in my hand. I didn’t hit the cat with the water, rather my best friend’s dad… The cat later decided to come down. On its own accord. I didn’t get to play hero at all…just dizzy blonde!), to the person in the supermarket that actually managed to get you to smile. Someone who loves is a hero. Someone who gives is a hero. Someone who is willing to do something for others is a hero. Someone who even dares being alive is a hero. I like reminding myself that we all have the strength of a hero and that we should all be thankful for the heroes we do have in our lives. They deserve some praise and so do we.

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Love and my gran’s clogs…

Chanel

Image via Wikipedia

Yeah, I know…the headline doesn’t start with “Let’s do the doggie, do, do, dah-dam tralalala…” or some other sexy thing. Give it a go though. You don’t always have to enter the backdoor to have a good time, or what do you think?

I went to see my gran a few weeks ago, she is in a ward for senile people. I was trying to read a book to her, a book that I once bought her, called “Home, Sweet Home.” In it there are quotes about home and pictures of cute animals to accompany them. It’s hard to have any kind of conversation with her, as her attention span is very, very short. The quotes were usually short enough to get her to listen though. Some she still struggled to understand, but as I said “Home is a place where you can say anything, as no one will listen anyway,” she shone up, laughed and said “That’s kinda true.” To see a reaction was beautiful – to find that a tiny bit of her is still there.

My gran said a few other things – usually relating to things that have nothing to do with her current life, constantly asking about my granddad, talking about the household chores she has done, or is yet to do, long dead relatives, etc. From time to time though, she would get something we said and reply as she would have when she was well. One thing she said was “We get along kinda well, you and I.” That, too, was such a “her” thing to say back in the day – stating the obvious with a dash of irony and a smile. One of her favorite things to tell me and my sister were: “You are like my daughters. Do you know how I know it? I can yell at you.” She had a great sense of humor, amongst other things.

My gran keep teaching me about love and life, even when she is in a state of oblivion. To cope with the fact that in front of you sits one of the people that mean the most to you, but she’s no longer fully there…is….well, it’s a journey from complete despair to understanding/acceptance. It’s also an interesting journey into questioning what a human being truly is? I loved my gran for her personality. Who I am today, is probably partly a mirror of whom my grandma once were, which I have never truly thought of that much before. I mean, sure I knew she inspired me and taught me things, but I never quite got how much like her I turned out to become – from my greatest traits to my insecurities. (Nor did I realize how much I became like my adopted TV mom…Dr Michaela Quinn, until I re-watched the series last summer. I was laughing and cringing at her, as she did well…what I would have done in her position.) Yet, whom my grandma is today is…a broken record player and one that can’t add any new tracks at all. It has made me question how much of us are a manifestation of our soul, our true center and how much is icing on the cake. I mentioned it the other day, but it seems to me most of us are record players, playing the tunes we have been taught, and very few of our own original tunes come out. It’s one thing to believe we have a soul when we are alive and well, but when someone’s whole personality falls apart, you wonder what happened to the soul? Is it trapped inside us, not being able to live fully?

I have talked before about how my gran’s disease taught me that what she always gave me and that I forgot to give myself, was unconditional love. Apart from baking pancakes and gingerbread cookies, doing my hair up and conjugating French verbs, cracking witty jokes and wearing mini-skirts, what she really taught me was just to love. She may have made me into a household Goddess with a taste for business and adventure, but above and beyond all she taught me what it means to have someone who always listen and supports you through it all. I believe we need that. When we have good love around us, when we are taught to love and respect ourselves, we won’t go running after all the other crazy things in this life that really don’t matter much.

As I sit here in NYC, I wonder partly if I’m crazy? I have set out on this journey to conquer the world with my businesses and movies, but what matters most to me is people. Of course, my everything is always about people, for people, but I keep traveling the world, being away from people. I don’t have a kitchen that is mine forever. A kitchen that is filled with spices, teas, crooked china, the smell of gingerbread and most importantly: people. As with everything else though: one without the other wouldn’t make me happy. I love America. I love France. I love business. I love movies. I love traveling. I love home life. I am what I am. A funny mix. What matters most to me now is to be all that I am in a way that honors it. That honors me.

The day after visiting my gran I was visiting my granddad. I put on my gran’s clogs and walked to the beach. For the first time I wasn’t sad. I knew I was OK. I knew she had taught me all I needed to know. I was wearing her clogs. It is time to wear them not just when I visit, but all the time. Wear the trust and love she felt for me.

Let’s conquer the world. In a pair of clogs and with gingerbread cookies. In a Chanel suit and with pancakes. In me and with love.

My gran always gathered newspaper clippings of Jöback for me…he has the most beautiful voice! God knows how many times I listened to his songs dreaming about making musicals….dreaming about living life. Dreaming of America…



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I don’t wanna talk…

…about the things we’ve been through. Yeah, yeah, I’m quoting Abba…I know, I know…blonde Swede by the wheel. So let’s talk about sex baby…or not. Let’s have sex. No, let’s talk about it. No, let’s have it. No let’s talk about it…no…yes…no…fuck you. What? Yes, fuck me. No. Yes………

I’m going to do something very forbidden right now – I’m going to generalize (why do I suddenly see a bunch of angry people marching against me shouting tasteless blonde jokes???…).

Women are accusing men of being sex driven and men are accusing women for being baby (and, therefore, relationship) driven. Now if you are a man, imagine that women see babies the way you see sex…and can’t help it. Women, imagine seeing sex the way you see babies (and relationships) on the worst days. Of course, women only have baby drive for certain days per month/periods of their lives, but it leads to some women hunting guys like…well, like men hunt women. They are both “drives” that we can learn to control, because let’s face it – babies aren’t always a good idea and sometimes sex isn’t either. By the end of the day both drives lead to the same end result – a life. Only we don’t always realize this when we are hormone high and just following instinct (and have a condom at hand)…on the other hand, it’s pretty damn good sex with two people who are letting their desires lose…

Women are accusing men of being cold and only care for sex and men are accusing women of being needy. Men were made to spread their sperm, women were made to raise babies and to do so, having a man around to hunt for some food is useful as babies take up time. Of course, it’s a very practical thing to have a rational man around and a woman to bring care. It’s harmony, but when it goes tits up it’s…not so harmonious… (“Why were you flirting with the woman at the petrol station?” “Why do you need to sit at home nesting and being all lovey-dovey?”)

Another amusing aspect of this is that men always freak out about women bonding (no not bondage…but they wish…) with them too early, they are too emotional, etc. Women are built like that – for the sake of the baby, we need to love you men. Happens every time. Even with the jerk we dated before you and the Prince we will date after you, should you dump us or we have enough of you. That’s why women need to be careful with whom they shag, because hormones go flying. We are built to get addicted to men (ouch, I hate this shit…yep…I’M INDEPENDENT FOR FUCK’S SAKE…yeah, yeah..). Women on the other hand find men cold at first, because they were built to being addicted to sex. The weird thing is that apparently, once a guy falls for a gal, it can take him three to five years to get over her. YEARS! Women have to act faster as they have a biological clock. We only waste a month or two in mourning. Doesn’t mean we don’t remember and (don’t…because we don’t…lol) compare everyone to that one guy that won our heart for some weirdo (or not so weirdo) reason…and that we wouldn’t shag him did we have a chance…but we don’t get stuck on one guy to the point of not allowing others in. We move on. We have to.

Women for some reason need to explain everything and have everything explained to them. Men only need to decide (in a quiet place, alone, strong and independent) and then they act. Women feel disrespected as they aren’t explained why the actions happened. Men get irritated as women are so complicated, needy and irritatingly close, trying to get them to actually SPEAK to them. Biologically I can’t figure this one out, but when action meets emotion, when hot meets cold…wahowahwooom…explosion…could be good….).

Another thing is, as a woman, I believe we contemplate having sex with everything that moves just as much as a man…but if we are talking biology – maybe a woman thinks beforehand as she will have to raise the kid and needs a dependable father. A man can always leave, but before contraception and abortion existed, a woman was stuck with the baby. Therefore we think relationship before we think sex. We have learnt to control ourselves. Ahem. Sometimes.

A woman needs to be convinced to get involved in the first place. A man needs to be convinced to stay. A woman needs to feel safe. A man needs to know he got The Queen Of The World, or else, why would he not keep spreading his sperm?

I also think this is why babies change relationships. If she realizes she was in it due to her baby drive (which has now been satisfied) and he realizes he agreed without thinking she’s The Queen Of The World, he just got a bit…excited…there’s trouble ahead. On the other hand, if she picked Mr Fabulous and got a baby with Him…and he picked The Queen Of The World…a baby will bring a lot of pleasure to them both and bond them further.

I may be absolutely wrong about all the above, but yin and yang people…when we wear each others’ shoes, when we learn to understand…how much of our biology is actually about each other – that we were created for each other….maybe then relationships will start to get a bit more…sexy… I mean, we are all looking for each other, we just don’t seem to get it….and playing with fire is dangerous unless you know how to make it work….but don’t we all love fire? And men on motorbikes…or what was it again???

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