‘Tis the season…

’Tis the season…to be of service to others. 

I know many have had what we in South Africa would call “a hectic year.” Many are furious with the world…and with governments. All round, people have been struggling to “do the right thing.” Sometimes it’s worked, sometimes it hasn’t. And I’ve seen people lose their heads because they disagree on how to best tackle a pandemic that’s affected almost everyone alive today. Quite a few felt separated because of the US elections, too. People have been taking sides. 

Sometimes, it’s nice to shift your focus to what’s working and how you can build bridges with others instead of burning them. How you can stand together to help one another—even if you disagree on things. 

A lot of people are struggling, so let’s help them and ourselves by being of service—by going out of our way to do a nice thing. It’s easy to be kind, it’s harder to drive the long way around to do a nice thing. Being of service means you go out of your way to help others. 

However, it does not mean you hurt yourself in the process. I (and many people I know), have gone out of their way to help others at their own expense. That’s self destruction, not being of service. 

Point being, the coaching group I’m part of created a challenge for us to be of service—commit five acts of service in the coming month. It’s an open challenge, so I invite anyone who wants to spread the Christmas cheer to join. 

You don’t have to be rich, or be in the right circumstances, or have had an epic year to be an extraordinary person. So let’s challenge ourselves to be just that (even if we sometimes want to scream and kick and shout about travel bans, and the fear of being coughed at, or everyone’s opposing opinion). 

Merry ho ho y’all! 

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Filed under Inspiration, Inspirational, Motivation, Yule

The lucky draw…

I just read a message in a group I’m part of. They were talking about a boy in South Africa who was attacked with a hammer by a group of boys said boy knows. They didn’t know why he was attacked. Maybe because he does sport instead of gangsterism?

A few weeks back an acquaintance of mine’s maid’s son was killed by gangsters. Stoned in front of the family. A case of mistaken identity, most probably.

These things happen here. All the time. And I was thinking today, it’s not about helping that one kid. That one family. It’s about putting systems in place to help communities at large.

Of course, we all fall in love with that one kid. That one family. And we all get personally affected when they’re affected. To think about the bigger picture at such times is not always easy. What’s more, individuals need attention too. We all stumble. We all fall. We all need people who pick us up and dust us off.

It also crossed my mind that in other places, these things would be big news. Here it’s so common that chances are it won’t make the papers.

I know a lot of people in the US have been angry recently. The elections stirred up a lot of emotions. But how about thinking about how well off we all are if we have quite a few systems in place that serve us instead? Yes, there are inequalities. Yes, things can improve. But if you don’t live in fear of gangsters breaking into your house and stoning your family, you’re still ahead of some places. If you have an educational system, even if not perfect, you’re still ahead of some places. And if you have opportunities for help when unwell, you’re ahead of many places. I know people here who have waited for an ambulance for about 12 hours. Lastly, if you’re allowed to express your opinion without anyone threatening you, you’re ahead of some places.

Random things will happen anywhere. But if you live in a fairly functional society, where there are several systems in place to support you, you’ve struck gold.

You can bicker about what you don’t agree with. You can create separation from friends and family because of politics. Or you can, together, cherish what you have that is working. Try to figure out how you can grow even better together. Agree to disagree on other factors.

Just some thoughts on a sunny afternoon.

Yours truly,

Dizzy Blonde

Image Source: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/507780926740987472/

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Filed under Inspiration, Inspirational, Musings, Politics, Uncategorized

Turn it up and turn it on…

I wrote “turned on like a light switch” in a sentence today, which made me chuckle as I found the metaphor terribly cheesy. It got me thinking though.

We’re either turned on, or turned off. The lights are either on, or they’re off.

What’s the difference?

Your thoughts. Your thoughts are the difference between being turned on and turned off.

Taking that a bit further, you could say your focus determines whether you’re turned on, or turned off.

It is the same thing that determines if you’re happy, or not.

I’m not saying external factors don’t contribute, they do. But there’s still your choice where you put your focus. And that, in turn, will help determine external factors as it will determine what you create next.

The current pandemic is an interesting example of looking at how people choose to focus. I’m not talking about the people who’ve lost it all, but people who may have been affected, but haven’t suffered a blow from hell.

For example, I saw someone complain that the World Health Organization called for a lockdown first, then showed stats of how the economy has been affected badly and saying maybe to stop lockdowns due to increased poverty.

The thing is, no one had the answers up front. Did some people try to make money? Yes. They’d be stupid not to. Did some people do immoral things? No doubt. Should they have made money out of it? No. Are there big pharma and governments that are corrupt? Hell to the yes. Did the world try its best to come together to fight the pandemic? Did people step up and reach out to one another? Did health workers risk their lives? Yes.

I can’t personally understand why people protest against wearing a mask as it PROTECTS OTHERS. Protest the lockdowns all you like, but use common sense in preventing others from getting a virus you might carry without realizing it. You don’t have to wear a mask among friends, so you can still keep your immune system happy with fighting germs. But not wearing one in public where you don’t know who you interact with, might spread the virus to someone vulnerable and might spread the virus too fast for healthcare facilities to cope. If you don’t want a lockdown because the hospitals are overflowing–like in Italy where people were sitting outside hospitals unable to breathe–wear a mask and wash your fucking hands. Spray down your groceries. Do you part in stopping the spread of the virus. If you don’t, don’t complain when you sit outside a hospital and can’t get the help you need.

Sweden got lots of shit for not doing a lockdown, as lots of people died. Then other countries got lots of shit for doing a lockdown, as lots of people lost their jobs.

Forcing people to work during a pandemic seems wrong. Forcing them to stay home might be wrong too. Overflowing the hospitals so not everyone can get care, also seems wrong.

Many people feel helpless because it’s damn hard figuring out the right thing to do–should you isolate? Should you keep your children at home? Should you be angry with the government for lockdowns, or support them? Should you take a vaccine when they just come out, or will that make you sick instead?

Nobody knows all the answers. Nobody knows if a lab fucked up and spread the virus, or if China deliberately did so. For sure not all governments were in on this though, because people and governments are losing money like hell. Will big pharma milk the situation? Yes. Are all scientists and doctors bad? No.

The best we can do? Focus on what we can do. Create business opportunities, instead of bemoaning the ones that have been lost. Look after your health by eating well, sleeping well, exercising well, breathing well, spending time in nature and doing our part in socializing–even if it’s online or two meters apart (and yes, socializing and spending time in nature, as well as getting enough sleep on regular hours have all proven to improve our health). Likewise, take a multivitamin a couple of times a week, and take your herbal supplements, or drink your herbal teas, if you can afford it. Support yourself. Don’t wanna take the vaccine, don’t take it, but don’t bemoan the people who do and by doing so keep you safe.

Also, focus on what’s working. This is not the plague in the 1500s. Thank you modern medicine. Thank you for opportunities to stay safe. Thank you for people who get together in innovative ways to build community in times where you have to social distance. Thank you for those who create joy in times of upheaval. Thanks for still being alive. Thanks for still being able to eat. Thank you world wide web for giving us the opportunity to learn about health resources and enabling us to connect with others. Thank you nice dress that I can wear to feel sexy, even during a pandemic.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You may not agree with me on all the above, but please do your best to think thoughts that serve you. Focus on what’s working and if something isn’t working, focus on the solution. Stop hating on people who see things differently, and instead work to create something that shows the benefits of what you believe in. Test your theories instead of hating those who have different ones. As the story goes, you don’t change someone’s behavior by telling them what’s wrong, but by showing them what’s right.

And remember, you can still laugh. Just focus on something funny.

Dizzy Blonde, over and out.

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Filed under COVID, Happiness, Inspiration, Inspirational, Joy, Personal Development, personal growth, Personal Journeys, self help

Let’s get excited!!!

When was the last time you went wild when seeing someone?

I get it. That sentence can be interpreted in more ways than one.

Let’s try again.

When was the last time you got excited when someone you know walked through the door? Someone you see on a daily basis?

I was looking out the window earlier and saw the dogs going wild as the neighbors returned. They’d been away for an hour, or two.

When I walk out my room, the little one gets excited. We’ve been isolating since COVID started and he sees me all the time. But I need time to work, so I’m locked up in my bedroom for most of the day. When I walk out, it’s hugs and kisses and happiness all round.

He also likes to knock on my door to ask if I’d like to come play horse, or go to the forest. I do. Sometimes. Right now, I’m about to finish this blog and head to the forest.

I remember being a kid and waiting for my dad to come home by the end of the day. Especially when I was sick, which was often. I’d get so happy when I heard his car arrive, or his voice in the hallway.

It was so good to see someone I cared about. Someone who would bring something to my day. He’d smell like fresh air and the outside world–adventure.

When we get older, as our partner, or friend whom we see often, walk in the door, we continue working, or cooking, or doing the laundry. How often do we stop what we are doing and run to see them, flinging ourselves into their arms?

With COVID, we might have come to appreciate human relationships more, but maybe it’s time to learn a thing, or two, from dogs and kids.

Our time on Earth is limited. At least in this incarnation. When you see someone you love, stop what you’re doing and fling yourself at them with all the enthusiasm of a puppy seeing their human.

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When shit hits the fan, buy toilet paper…and have a giggle…

This year’s trending words so far:

  • social distancing
  • masks
  • hand sanitizer
  • toilet paper
  • panic shopping

As a human, this doesn’t exactly make me smile. As a writer, I find it hilarious. It’s like living in a science fiction comedy where panic has turned humans into anti-bac spraying, mask wearing, toilet paper obsessed morons.

It is the year when toilet paper trumps roses as birthday gifts. Not that I ever found roses particularly interesting, unless they come delivered as a bush. You know, so you can plant them, grow them, harvest the petals and use them in cooking, baking and teas. Then, roses make sense.

Not that I object a beautiful bouquet of flowers–they’re a symbol. A beautiful symbol at that. It’s just, they don’t make my heart race, or my imagination take flight. For that, more innovative and thoughtful gifts are required.

Toilet paper, unlike a bouquet of roses, you can use. And if someone writes cute poetry on it, you may even enjoy your visits to the bathroom a little bit more.

In fact, I’d totally get behind the idea of receiving loo roll with poetry on it.

The thing is, when something like COVID comes along that has the potential of flooding hospitals with patients and kill off a small percentage of the population, not least because hospitals are struggling with resources, it’s scary.

But just as when terrorism and immigration were seen as the scariest things in the world, it’s not the scariest thing in the world.

If you Google the stats, you’ll soon figure out that cancer is a lot more frightening. However, you can protect yourself from COVID in ways you can’t from cancer. Then again, certain cancers, are caused by toxins, HPV (a sexually transmitted disease), and lifestyle choices. And those cancers you can protect yourself from, but are you?

Are you living a healthy lifestyle devoid of toxins? Do you refrain from sex with a lot of different people? Are you building up your immune system?

Even with COVID, working on your immune system is a great idea. From what I’ve learned when penning health and wellness articles, that means good sleep, time in nature, exercise, healthy meals and a life with as little negative stress as possible. Certain herbs and spices may also help you build up your immune system.

What people believe to be the scariest thing in the world, often isn’t the scariest thing in the world. But that doesn’t mean it won’t kill some people. Take precaution. But also take precaution for things that aren’t perceived as immediate dangers. Such as having a heart attack due to poor lifestyle choices. I bet overdosing on fat and sugar doesn’t scare you half as much as COVID, but it should. Statistically speaking.

Personally, with COVID, I’d rather be safe than sorry. If I can socialize two meters apart, in nature and spray everything with anti-bac, I’m quite happy with that. For now.

That, however, does not mean I’ll focus on COVID. I don’t need to listen to COVID stories all day long. I don’t need to think about toilet paper. Hey, if we run out there are magazines and leafs and this thing called washing using water.

This year has been a rollercoaster for most of us. And some have lost near and dear ones to COVID. That’s horrible. But rollercoaster rides aren’t just horrible, they’re also a thrill and can give you the giggles. If nothing else, because everything’s upside down. So let’s focus on the good stuff, not on hand sanitizer.

You can choose your own trending words for the year. Such as art, creativity, nature, family, achievement, and happiness.

When things change, you have to find opportunities in things that present themselves in the now. Such as opening a bidet business, or manufacturing your own toilet paper. Or why not create a new exercise routine at home, launch the online business of your dreams, learn to grow your own vegetables, or finally meditate daily?

You’re your own boss. Now more so than ever.

No, you might not be able to travel to the other side of the world. But there is so much to be thankful for. This isn’t the plague and we aren’t living in the 1500s. That’s a starting point.

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Turn them on…

Have you ever seen someone’s eyes light up? 

I bet you have. 

They see someone they love. 

They do something they love. 

And bam—there it is. The light. As if there are stars twinkling in their soul; the light shining through their eyes. 

It’s beautiful. And wonderful. And just totally amazing. 

Love. It’s what lights our way. Love.

When you next meet someone. Take a moment to see if you can find their light switch. And turn them on. 

Image Source: https://www.pinterest.se/pin/507780926739558786/

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Sailing bravely into the unknown…

A problem many of us face is that we are sailing away from one harbor, instead of toward another harbor.

What’s the difference you ask?

One is propelling you forward with negativity and, possibly, sadness.

The other is propelling you forward with want, need, love, desire…

Whenever there’s progress, we leave something behind.

We say goodbye to one job to find another.

We say goodbye to one partner to find another.

We say goodbye to one place to find another.

We do that because we want to upgrade our life, or because we are forced to by circumstance. But even when we know we are leaving for something better, there are usually good things we will miss.

You know why people stay in bad relationships? Even abusive relationships?

Because part of it is good. And possibly they can’t imagine something better due to their previous life experiences/thoughts about self/others.

It’s the same reason they stay in a place, in a job, or even in a relationship with drugs. They can’t imagine something better. They don’t believe. They don’t have faith.

To grow you have to leave the harbor. But more than anything, you have to sail toward a new harbor. Toward something better. Because it’s possible. Even if it hurts.

Image Source: https://www.pinterest.se/pin/507780926739522107/

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Filed under confessions, diary, Inspiration, Inspirational, Motivation, Musings

Let’s get naughty…

COVID. I haven’t blogged since COVID turned life upside down.

I’ve had a lot of good come out of COVID. I’m not ungrateful. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve grown. I’ve changed a lot of shit around and gotten rid of some shit, too.

I’ve even managed to create some epic experiences.

From time to time though, I get bored. I start climbing the walls and want to run around screaming. I feel confined. By four walls and some rather stunning mountains.

That’s when it’s time to get naughty. Indulge your imagination. Go on a tour of your mind. A mind blowing tour. Let yourself get excited again. Remember what you love. What stirs your soul. What makes your heart beat faster. What makes smiles appear as if out of nowhere and caress your lips.

Make yourself scream from excitement.

Remember. There is passion. Even if you’re currently staring at four walls.

Image Source: https://www.pinterest.se/pin/507780926738626169/

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Filed under diary, Happiness, Inspiration, Personal Development, personal growth, Personal Journeys, personal stories, Uncategorized

You’re fucking A…

You have a beautiful soul. No matter what filthy mess you’ve gotten yourself into. No matter what financial mess you’ve created. No matter how much you fucked up with your spouse, the kids, the parents…you have a beautiful soul. It’s still in there. So stop beating yourself up and start living from that space instead.

No matter how many hours, days, weeks, or years, you’ve wasted messing yourself and/or your life and/or the people around you up, you can live a good life. Great life. Because you’re fucking A. Your soul is brilliantly beautiful and bloody marvelous. And you know it, don’t you?

We all know it.

Our own self-perception is weird, isn’t it? I keep thinking about what a mess my life is. It doesn’t matter how high up the ladder I climb, how kind people tell me I am, how many people I’ve helped…I keep looking at certain things thinking I’m an effing mess because I should be further along, or so I tell myself. Mess is my word of choice. I’m sure you have your own.

You can just live. This moment is all you have. And it’s your gift from up yonder. Yet, most of us have a measuring stick we are looking to, to check if we’re using this moment as we should. But what we really should is see it as a gift and live it as we want.

Maybe it’s just the other perfectionists and I who have that measuring stick. It’s natural that you know what’s good for your life and bad for your life. If you’re spending this moment robbing someone…well, it’s not going to serve you, or them. But if you are simply sitting there wondering if you achieved enough today, was good enough today, created enough today…then it’s time to shut up and start living instead of worrying. Enjoy yourself for F’s sake. Make use of this godly gift called life.

You know that one person who truly cares for your–the friend who loves you, the lover who treasured you, the child who adores you, the person who can’t wait to work with you again–maybe you should start seeing yourself through their eyes. Instead of thinking you aren’t worthy of their love and appreciation, act as a person who are. Accept that they see greatness in you, start seeing greatness in yourself and start acting as a person who is great.

And now I’m going to stop sulking about feeling behind in schedule and have a dose of I-love-myself-coffee. And possibly an Oreo cookie.

Yours truly,

Dizzy Blonde

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Filed under achievement, confidence, diary, Musings, perfectionism, self help, Self-confidence, Self-esteem, Self-help, Thoughts

Come hell or high water: poetic musings on life…

Here’s something that made me laugh. Out loud.

Are you someone who snorts horse tranquilizers? Didn’t think so. But if you’re trying to quit smoking, you may tell yourself that just one drag is OK. But you are not a smoker, just as you’re not someone who snorts horse tranquilizers. And someone who doesn’t snorts horse tranquilizers doesn’t sometimes have a whiff.  

This example, from Jen Sincero, made stop in my tracks. And laugh out loud.

Ever decided to turn your phone off when driving? I have. Which means I no longer check texts at traffic lights. But do you know how many times I thought to check texts at traffic lights when I first made this decision? And do you know how frustrating it is to sit there with nothing to do? 

I’m not a person who willfully causes accidents. Therefore, I’m not a person who checks my texts at traffic lights. That’s it. A decision is a decision. 

What’s helped me breaking this particular habit is audiobooks. It gives me something to think about while waiting for the lights to change. And when not busy listening to audiobooks, I play a game of looking around me to see how many details I can notice. As most of us drive the same roads every day without having a clue of what we’re actually seeing, this is a good exercise in observation.

Have you ever contemplated that you don’t even notice most of your life?

But back to audiobooks.

In general, audiobooks are helping me break a lot of habits. By filling my head with personal development books, I don’t have time to walk around thinking negative thoughts. I seriously recommend it for anyone prone to depression, or thoughts that don’t serve them in general. You can’t be depressed if you fill your head with thoughts that aren’t depressing and you can’t get stuck in unhealthy habits if you fill your head with healthy thoughts. And by infusing my brain with things such as how to make decisions that stick, I am implementing processes for a whole other life. 

When you make a decision to break a habit/enforce a new habit, think of it as you would snorting horse tranquilizers. If you don’t snort horse tranquilizers, you don’t sometimes do it, because, well, you’re not a horse tranquilizer snorter. And if you decide you’re a gym goer, or entrepreneur, or generally awesome person, then you do what they would do. As a gym goer, you go to the gym. That’s it. There’s no room for negotiation.

Decide who you are. Then act as that person.

I decided I’m an entrepreneur and filmmaker.

That’s why, last week I launched Magique on Etsy. After seven years of running around the globe, trying to “figure it out” I decided it was time to put one product on the market. Not all the product types I wanted to, but one. I don’t even have all the digital products I want on the market. That won’t happen till, well, I’ve had the time to create them all. For now, it’s mainly poetry prints. And I’m freaking out about it. Because OMG it’s not all the things Magique stands for. It doesn’t feel like a full representation of the brand. And OMG I’ve been working till midnight every night and I’m not making money from it RIGHT NOW. But what do you think derailed me from launching for seven years? The idea of perfection and needing cash right now, amongst other things.

I developed an entire product line (a physical one) that got massive praise and that I spent, literally, hundreds of hours developing together with a brand I spent another couple of hundreds of hours sweating over as I couldn’t pay for graphic designers to do it all. And the website. Another hundred hours (then I forgot to pay the damn domain fees and lost it all and now have to start from scratch. I learned WordPress for that site and let me tell you it’s not as easy as it sounds).

But did I launch? No. Just before doing it I always stopped. I didn’t have money to produce the physical products. I didn’t know how to operate the company with all the moving parts. If I broke it down, I didn’t know what product to start with. I traveled too much as I didn’t have a visa. All the stuff with the kids got in the way. I needed to make money RIGHT NOW. There was always something. And they were very valid somethings at times. They sounded like the perfect excuses. Anyone can understand that while you’re raising a kid with autism who’s smashing the furniture and trying to support golly know how many kids from a township while applying for visas you don’t have time to figure your business out. But I got my act together enough to start an Instagram account where I posted poetry related to the brand, as all our products come enchanted by words. And then I had this idea for digital products. And eventually I got the fuck on the fuck and launched the company on a full moon on Friday the 13th 2019. With six products.

Then I kept working.

Now there are more products.

I launched my business. Because I’m an entrepreneur.

And this morning, when wanting to go to the Cheesecake Factory and thinking about how long it will take till I get ot America…I decided to go to the local coffeeshop and buy cheesecake. Because I’m not someone who lives for delayed gratification. I’m someone who enjoys life.

Decide who you are. Then act on it.

I highly recommend: You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. If you want to be a badass that is. If you want to sit on the couch/behind your office desk, bemoaning your life, then I highly recommend you do nothing.

In need of a last minute Christmas pressie? Or feel like buying one of my products and leave a review to support me on this journey of badassery? I’d appreciate it. I’d actually love it. So I’m giving everyone 65% off last minute Christmas gifts from Magique. As they’re digital downloads you can buy the download and print it at home, or at the local printers. If you buy something, send me a note so I can thank you for it.

This link will give you 65% off meaing some prints cost less than $3.50. https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheMagiqueBoutique?coupon=FRIENDS65

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