Being a frightened little bunny and a brave bear…

In Sweden there is a cartoon about the world strongest bear, Bamse, and one of his friends is Lille Skutt (Little Jump), who is a rabbit. Often shaking with fear as he is a frightened little bunny, he always does what he knows he must, even if it scares him. This  makes him very brave, because he conquers his own fears. To others what he does may not seem brave, but because he is so scared of it, it is very brave.

To others our fears often seem irrational, because we all come from different backgrounds – some people are brought up walking on tight ropes, whereas others are taught that high heights are really dangerous. To the tight rope walker who knows that the security net will catch them if they fall, the fear of heights seem irrational. The person scared of heights, yet forced to walk a tight-rope won’t think of security nets, their mind will just simply have such a strong association between heights and fear that no matter what they won’t really grasp that they are safe.

Sometimes we just have to realize that our fear of relationships, work tasks, places, people…what have you, are simply negative associations which have nothing to do with reality and truly, if we can just see it, there is a safety net!

I guess we all just have to allow ourself to be frightened bunnies at times, it’s OK…we are still brave bears if we conquer…

Lille Skutt and his loved one…

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Gorgeous you and incredible me…

Cafe in Paris

Who will fill these seats next? Who will share their lives, if so only for a moment?

I was out having coffee with some friends last week. For some reason the meeting entered my mind today and suddenly a beautiful thought hit me: you meet people just to enjoy their company. Maybe that’s obvious, but isn’t it also beautiful? You go somewhere just to sit down and enjoy someone’s presence. To see them smile, to hear their laughter, to listen to their pain, to laugh at their jokes, to get entertained by their stories, to be intrigued by their minds, to share their life…to enjoy them and support them. To get happy for them and try to remove their sorrow from them. It may so be that I am corny, but I think this is absolutely amazing…just to sit there and indulge in someone’s presence…

 

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Thou shalt not sin…only make love…

Miss Texas Polestar Championship

Poledancing...no sin at all, right?!!

As we were driving to Vegas yesterday we passed signs with the ten commandments – one sign for each commandment, finishing off with a sign for a church. I thought this quite funny as, after all, it was en route to sin city. What is a sin though, really? I would say it’s being nasty to yourself, or other people. It’s quite hard not to actually. “I’m an idiot, the neighbor is crazy, I really don’t like that person, etc…” Have you ever tried a month without putting anyone down? Have you ever tried a month only saying good things about your life in general? About what is to come and what was? About your body? About yourself?

Maybe we should all try a month of saintliness? And hey, lovemaking gotta be the highest praise you can ever give someone…maybe we should practice that too?….

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A little song from my heart…

Two candles in love. The flame is inverted hea...

When one flame meets another flame...they will connect...

There’s no sexy headline guys, it’s just straight from my heart today…: You have to let it go. Everything. If it is yours it will always be there for you, if it is not, it is time to go in search for what is truly yours. I’m talking about your career, your loved ones, your possessions…there is nothing you can own, but if it belongs to you, it will be there for you, or come back to you forever, even if it sometimes needs to part.

Of course we want to keep what we love close at heart, whether that be a business, or a person, but if we love it, it’s always in our heart and if it is what we are destined to do, it will happen, or the person we care for will stay close by.

As soon as we get caught up in outcomes we suffer. We have to work towards achieving things, but we must let them go at the same time. Happiness is not the outcome, but the moment. This is where you live, right now. And that grabbing onto mentality is not the same as the go getter mentality. The go getter knows they’ll get something, one way or another. The holder onto wants one thing and only one thing and has tremendous fear of not getting it/losing it.

If there is love in your heart you will find love. If there is success in your heart you will find success. If there is peace in your heart you will find peace. The trick is to stay with the feeling, not the outcome.

When I love I know it will all be OK. When I just love. When I start wanting this person or that person it goes tits up. I can love this or that person, that’s fine, but when I want to possess them…I suffer. Love is free. You just love. Lovers will be drawn to each other, like plus attracts minus. And so will everything else that belongs, connects, resonate…after all you want things that are in harmony with you, not the discordant stuff. Believe that whatever is within will be without.

Life is filled with struggles, obstacles…juicy little problems that tickle our curiosity and grow our strength…they will always be there. You can’t give up because of struggles, but go with the flow though – set the compass in your heart and follow it. Don’t hold onto a thing; hold onto your own heart and know that whatever resonates will get along with you when it meets you – whether that be an idea, a person, a job…

Live, love, let go…fly…soar…

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I would like you to tell me I’m awesome…or at least that you are…. :)

So I just finished a month of complimenting my best friend every day and vice versa. Apparently what my best friend loves about me: I’m brave, courageous, always striving to do what I’m afraid of, I’m creative, I do nice drawings, I can’t lie, I’m a true friend, I attract nice people into my life, I want to create a nice community around me, I take nice photos, I strive for the best for the future, I have positive outlook…, I write well and have stories going round in my head…hmmm…, I look great in my white trousers, I have nice hands and nails, I’m honest, I make a nice roast chicken…to mention a few things. Felt really nice to hear that. I was preening all along, lol!

So who are you gonna make all warm and fuzzy today by telling them they are awesome in some way or another? Maybe start with telling you why you rock…then move onto telling someone else just how amazing they are….

I’m super awesome….

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Broken souls and dreamers…

Dream All Day

Oftentimes it is those with the most darkness inside that are searching for the light. Those that feel pain that are searching for beauty. Those that feel emptiness that are searching for fulfillment. And if they want it bad enough and they work hard enough oftentimes they also get it.

It is sad sometimes when you meet “broken souls” that have created some of the most amazing things – the biggest corporations, the most wonderful art, the largest non-profits – yet their spirit is still deprived… They keep creating, because on the inside they still feel a lack, a need. You would think that along the way they would have found inner fulfillment, but it’s not always the case, because the beauty they sought was on the outside. The outside has managed, in some cases, to heal the worst part of their wound, but they are still confused, wondering why money didn’t stop them from feeling poor, or beauty didn’t hide all the ugliness of the world that they had seen.

Sometimes those that have the most fulfillment within don’t always search for change, for improvement, for revolutions…because they simply don’t feel a need. They are already OK. When they do search to change things for the sake of others though, they create amazing things.

Wherever we are at on our path to outer and inner fulfilment it’s important to remember why you do the things you do – find inner peace so you aren’t hunting empty dreams that will still leave your inner in turmoil and find your purpose, what really turns you on and propels your forward. Without it you won’t find a will to create; nothing will have meaning. That’s why lost soul’s sometimes create the most beauty – they have a purpose, a will to change, or to heal what’s broken. It’s just nicer to be healed and work for joy. It’s nicer to earn money when you already have food on the table, even though having no food on the table will probably make you work harder unless you have a really good purpose. And a good purpose is a blissful thing – it makes you feel like you are living the dream no matter where in the journey you are at… As Helen Keller said: Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.

Fight for your dreams already living the dream…

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This doesn’t need a sexy headline…

Jules Cheret, Moulin Rouge, 1890 Art Nouveau p...

Spectacle magnifique...

So here’s a real confession and maybe I shouldn’t blog about this because it feels way too personal and real and painful and embarassing…but the truth is that I swore to share how I feel, so that others could stop being afraid of how they feel and dare to be themselves. So here’s me, being myself. And maybe I’ve said it all before in different ways, but sometimes things hit you straight in the face and…feels more real, more tangible than before…and much, much more silly…

You know when you feel small and insignificant and silly and stupid? Like when the guy you thought was Mr Right starts flirting with the girl to your left? Mhm. And you want to cry. You feel trampled upon, angry, sad, furious…but if you are anything like me, you choose a pair of heels that are one inch higher, a skirt that is one inch shorter, you nail the business deal, you walk with swagger and you make sure you outdo yourself in just about everything. Suddenly you are confidence itself: your voice is louder, your jokes funnier and you look better than you did age 16. You seek attention and you get it. You lap it up like a cat laps up cream. You are licking your wounds, trying to stop them from bleeding and the praise from others sort of cover the worst of it. Works as some sort of band-aid, but the wound is still there. So you make your shell a bit tougher to protect it. And through it all you may gain some more confidence, because your skills grow. You become more comfortable being you, because you are determined to kick ass – to create something for yourself. You may even move beyond that to realize that you are fine no matter what – so if the world falls on your head and you amount to nothing in this life, you will survive and you will laugh. You are happy. You let go of everything and suddenly, as if by magic, you make great friends, business blossoms and it all seems to come together effortlessly, but your heart, when it comes to love, is closed. You date people who either aren’t interested, or aren’t interesting to you, or have their hearts as closed as yours. You have blossomed into the person you always wanted to be, but your heart…your heart is crying for your attention. As soon as it senses love, feelings for someone, you tell it to shut up and you get ready to fight; to prove something… The area around the heart has grown tough and hard, rather than warm and open. When you date you try to prove your worth instead of your love. Your love you do not wish to show to anyone, because what if? What if they won’t like you? What if your love is like this sticky nasty thing that they just feel suffocated by? What if you can’t be loved? What if you are just like doomed not to be loved? Maybe you can be sexy and gorgeous and hot and great to everyone, but the ones you love? Maybe you totally lose confidence when it comes to love? Like you were fine up until that moment. You really felt you lived a magical, wonderful life, as the happiest most confident cat in the block no matter what and then…one look and you lose it all. Or one feeling, should I say. One intense, true feeling and you are reduced to a heap on the floor. An unsexy doormat. A shivering piece of jelly. And of course you picked a guy who wasn’t interested in supporting you, loving you till you recover and walk with swagger. He wanted the confident cocky little thing he met on the first date. And to cover up the jelly like doormat feeling inside you put on the whole charade, the whole show all over again…and the show would be REAL and true to you, if it wasn’t for the fact that it was fueled by fear…because it really is you and you really do love it all, it’s just your intentions behind it aren’t free…clean, fueled by love, what have you. You aren’t doing it with an open heart. You use little tricks to impress instead of sharing your joy, your heart. And what if those people you date only want that A-list something instead of your heart? That vulnerable soft thing inside that really aches? What if they knew all your fears and paranoias and your bad moments and your bad breath and the fact that you aren’t always the hottest, smartest, funniest person on the planet? What then? Would they still love you? Or did you maybe attract the ones that only wanted what you showed off as that was what they were looking for and not that soft spot inside that actually is very warm and loving and caring and extremely…gooey? Like lovey dovey romantic silly? Maybe that Agent Provocateur thing was just a cover and the real you is more like a crazy burlesque show at the Moulin Rouge, with an added twist of magic? Maybe you aren’t a sharp business woman, but rather a dreamy artist who loves business? Maybe you are just you and that you is aching to come out? And maybe instead of wanting a nicer dress, a higher paying job, a fitter body and a new sex trick, you’d want to open the doors to your heart and just dare to be? As you are…loving…open…soft…

Truth is: I am what I am and no matter what skills I acquire  and how good I get at something, I will always be me. Either you love me as much when I’m lying in bed and shaking from fever as you do when I stand on stage in a mini-skirt, cracking jokes, or you don’t love me at all.

My heart is gonna get to run free from now on. I’ve treated it bad enough through the years. From now on it will be allowed to love as much as it pleases. It will be allowed to sing for joy for no reason. To shiver from sorrow and break when it gets hammered upon. It will be fine, because as long as I allow it to love, it will always heal. It will always feel good by the end of the day when there is love flowing freely, even when it’s aching.

Hearts were made to love. To make love. To give love. To love endlessly and forever. It really is that simple and frightening…and liberating and healing and joyous and wonderful…and loving… Here’s to our hearts!!!

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