Tag Archives: dates

Hot, naughty nights…let’s steam it up… (…from handcuffs to truth or dare…)

Mike gave me this Valentine gift 45/365

Unlock someone's desires...

There’s a storm brewing…ohhh…light the fire, get the hot chocolate on the stove (and don’t forget the chili!!!)…or maybe popcorn and a movie??? In either case I love the wild wind blowing, the wind chimes singing along and the general sense of…freedom it brings. Fly with the wind…let it bring spice and magic from around the world…you know, how you can get a taste of adventure just by standing in the middle of the storm, knowing it’s traveled very, very far…

Now this whole stormy affair reminds me of a friend asking me what he could do for his girl on Valentine’s (fire, chocolate, hiding under blankets during a storm…classic date night). Here are some ideas…just bear in mind: everyone has different needs and wants (ask and you usually get an answer) and there’s a time and place for everything (but you can always be prepared!). To try to sweep your partner off their feet for a dream date when they have had a lousy day at work and want to sleep…not so good. Above and beyond all: for anything to work your energies have to match. Most of these ideas are maybe not for first, second or third dates…you have to be comfortable with one another and you have to be in love, or willing to fall in love…or at least in bed…with each other!

1) Kidnap someone in a loving way. Blindfold them (well, at least for the last bit of the ride…), tie up their hands with a silk wrap and transport them to a secret love-cation spot. Would be a pro if the spot is very private, sexy and wild. If it is your apartment, please make it lovecation like (clean it up, have the candles ready, the massage oil, the dinner you will cook including desert, the sexy or romantic movies, whatever sexy lingerie you/your date should wear, potential naughty presents, rose petals in bed or handcuffs/toys, or both, depending on what you like…and, oh, the whipped cream!)

2) Have a silent date. Take your loved one to a sacred place in nature somewhere, a cottage, a camping place, or maybe just a long walk. Spend time together communicating without using words. Maybe play with blindfolding too, building trust between the two of you (classic drama school exercise!!).

3) The naughty student/school teacher date. It’s time to explore the subjects of love and sex… Get that polished schoolboy/school girl look and indulge in your favorite topics… Whether you get some interesting books/DVDs to watch together, share what you truly want, or attend seminars/courses (from love languages to tantra), this is a way to expand your knowledge to build a closer relationship…and to grow!!! Besides, secret desires sounds like a pretty yummy subject to me!…

4) Genie in a bottle…you simply promise to do whatever your partner wants you to do…within reason… (They may need a few days to think this through…)

5) Simplicity…a picnic basket…walking barefoot along the beach…watching the sunset…magical.

6) Spoilicious…your partner comes home, the bath is ready, the kettle is on the stove, soon the wine will be corked open, dinner served, a long massage offered…and then…maybe…you should go to bed… (Of course, you can do it all naked, should you wish, or in a flowy summer’s dress, or in leather…whatever tickles your taste buds….)

7) Tickling tastebuds….feed someone dinner in bed, maybe blindfold them, maybe don’t…food orgie…or something…

8.s.) The photography/drawing session…(yes, I stole this from Titanic…Leo makes lasting impressions…) You could go to a professional photographer to get romantic, or erotic photos of the two of you, or you can take photos of each other. Or do nude/half-dressed paintings of one another. I dabble in photography all the time, so I love catching people on film, or drawing their portraits, because it is an intimate affair – you get to know someone through their face and body, but of course, not everyone like this… (And uh, lock up the negatives…just in case…)

9) Together plan the most erotic trip you could ever imagine…I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure you do…

10) Have a box where you both put notes of what dates you’d love…and then pick one ever so often.

11) Buy someone a parcel filled with naughty goodies…and put it to good use!

12) There is, in a sense, nothing more romantic than getting to know someone…to have a day where you spend the whole day asking each other questions about life, about your dreams, desires, fears, inhibitions…where you bond mentally is amazing. Even if you think you know someone: think again. Pick up a game that is all about asking questions, if you can’t think of any. Or google it…lol! And then maybe continue to explore each others bodies…do dancing together, whether alone or in a class…and of course, kiss, or touch every square millimeter of each other…

13) The letter date…for a week avoid seeing your partner and instead send him/her letters, or emails, about all your innermost thoughts, what you love about them (yes, truly, we all want to hear it) and what you would love to do together with them (and I mean naughty…real naughty…or romantic…)… (And if you really hate writing, leave voice mails.)

14) Explore areas of life together, or build something together…developing together is one of the most rewarding things one can do as friends, or lovers. Whether you attend yoga, or ceramics class together, start a company or go on a spiritual journey, rebuild a house in the French countryside (ahem) or cook a meal, go back-packing or on a road trip (if the man wants to visit all the famous football arenas and the woman the famous theaters…well, do a deal)…life is yours to create together. It is when we lose track of each other that we grow apart. To evolve and feel like you grow is important. To build something is amazing. To do it together divine. (Remember to share as you go along as well: to have an open heart and tell each other what you learnt, what you find difficult, what you enjoy, etc. To really share leads to feeling more bonded, more close to one another. And to have the freedom to say what you want, knowing you will be heard and understood is often vital. So is telling your partner that today you really have nothing to say, or want to spend time alone.)

15) The laughter date. Comedy night, comedy movie, paintball, mud fights, buying clothes for each other at a second-hand shop (found the second-hand idea online, simply brilliant!!!)…any silly thing that springs to mind…so long as it’s funny…and you can always end it with a pillow/shaving foam/bubble bath/flour/chocolate fight…you could even do it naked!…

16) The simple things in life…have a bottle of vino and make love in front of the fireplace, go to the outlook post like teenagers and make out in the car, sit in the hot tub and tell dirty stories, read out loud…poetry or erotica…your pick, show up with lunch at someone’s work…naked underneath the coat…or just for a romantic moment fully clothed, have a picnic in the garden, take the car and drive to a cheap motel, wander the streets of Venice under the full moon, go on sexcation in Paris, sneak a romantic note to someone at breakfast telling them what you will do for dinner, do the classic dinner and movies night, get dressed up to your teeth to go out at a fancy bar, whisper naughty things in someone’s ear during the very stuck up date/party you are on, take a bottle of wine to the beach, surprise someone with their favorite meal, dance naked under the moon, whisper secrets in each others’ ears as you watch the stars twinkle at night……

17) Someone brings the ingredients, you cook it together….you can always add some extra…saucy ingredients in the mix, which have nothing to do with cooking…and you have the added benefit of being able to do it in your underwear…

18) The horror movie night…says it all: gasp, scream and jump into his arms…only I would refuse any such childish behavior…he better take me to the woods for that…

19) Watch a game. Come on…every girl must like at least one game…at least once??? Confession: I would really love that cheesy: go see a basketball game and eat a veggie dog date…cuz I grew up on American movies…

20) The Burlesque/Striptease…doesn’t require description really…make it funny, or naughty, or nice…or just attend a burlesque night, or stripclub together…

21) Breakfast in bed…classic…whether served with roses, feathers, or simply love!

22) For Easter, fill their egg with something…interesting…and a lot of aphrodisiacs too…then at dawn, the magic hour of Easter, you can open it together…or simply make up your own Easter game…

23) Skinny dipping… (steams and saunas rank pretty hot too)

24) Invent a game…then play it…the rules are up to you…and so are the tools…

25) Visit a ranch…then get on a horse together and ride off into the sunset…

26) Hot tub…no further comments…

27) Build a sand castle together…and share all your childhood dreams…

28) Volunteer together for a day…

29) Spend the evening telling your special someone you love them, in a way they would understand…

30) Show someone all your fav spots in the city, or take them to their’s…have a surprise ready at each one, or just enjoy them for what they are…

31) Striptease card games…whenever your partner wins a point s/he gets to take off a piece of your clothing…or complimenting you…or telling you their secret desires…and you may just have to fulfill them…

32) The Booty Call…or text naughtiness…in either way: you leave a message saying what you will do when they get home (whether that be naughty, or nice)…then you wait…

33) How would you like to be pampered today? Sometimes a good question gets the best answers…

34) Get a box of chocolates…wrap each individual chocolate in a note saying something romantic, or naughty, or be like a game of dares, questions, confessions, romantic treats…what have you…

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Knights v.s. investment bankers…

We’ve all heard the fairy tales – since we were kids time and time again we have been told the story of a Knight in shining armor riding to fetch his Princess. Sounds a hell of a lot more romantic than the Investment Banker (who had gotten tired of one-night-stands) sat down in the bar after a long day, laid eyes on a Journalist (who was tired of emotional fuckwitages, fuck buddies and fucking lousy lovers), bought her a drink and that was that. Boring plot.

Now, in reality, I guess it doesn’t matter where and when you lay eyes on your darling to be, but I have contemplated this knight’s tale for a while and I think there is some truth to it. Let me explain:

Us women live with the idea of one day this bloke will come riding into our lives and we will recognize him easily as he will be standing underneath our window fighting dragons (and if not, at least defy our father and climb up to our balcony to declare his never-ending love for us). The thing is, usually we are not sitting stuck in some tower guarded by dragons. No, we tend to stumble upon him in all other weird kind of settings – from match.com to the local pub. So how the heck do we know it is him? He’s come to save us of course! No, truly he has come to save us from singledom, but for us to give up this nice secure tower where we have locked our heart up, he better well save us with some sort of glorious deed. How else will we know that it is he? Why else would we trust him with our heart? No clue. Therefore, he has to fight. Basically, he has to climb the tower and fight the dragons (I’m sad to say I don’t own any dragons to let loose on him, although between my sister and my best friend, he better watch out) so instead he will have to fight for us in other ways. That is to say: he can’t take no for an answer, he’s gotta be prepared to move mountains to be with us (whether that be to defy his mother’s opinion of us, or drive 50 miles a day to see us), he has to believe he can outdo all the other suitors out there and he better be doing his chase in style – from text messages to surprises, he’s gotta be a good warrior – if he does not stand out from the crowd, we won’t recognize him, nor trust him. We will not give a Knight our heart unless he puts up a fight.

Men, on the other hand, have been told that they will have to fight for their fair maiden. In other words – they will not go after a woman who does not expect them to fight for her. Unless they get to fight, how will they know that it is she? They won’t. They need to feel like they fought a war to win her heart – whether that was to be a master in coming up with clever dates, defy her best friend’s wishes (in my case: forget it – if she doesn’t like you, you are out the door in a heartbeat), save her life, outdo a gazillion other suitors, or move Heaven and Earth to be with her. Besides, she needs to be skilled enough in winning his trust, so that once they have fought bravely and climbed all the way up to her chamber in the tower, she is able to remove their armor, piece by piece, until she finds the man underneath it. No man will allow this unless he feels sure he has won her heart.

Of course, after the fighting has taken place the Knight and the Princess need to prove their abilities by making each other feel like King and Queen, as once you have been given a heart, your duty is to look after it and make it beat stronger and stronger by the hour. Else it is likely that the heart will take flight.

What say you dear readers? Is there any truth to this? I guess sometimes it’s reverse roles and the woman does the fighting and the man gets rescued, but it seems to me that many women sit in towers and many men hide under armor, and until a fight takes places, both are stuck in their hiding places. Love is, after all, to understand someone; to truly see them and feel for them and most of us don’t let anyone see our heart unless we think they deserves it – either because they are good at fighting, or they are good at disarming us. It’s very easy to have a crush on someone you know you will never get; the imaginary Knight or Princess, but to actually commit in the real world takes quite something. Or well, at least it takes someone walking straight into one’s life and claiming one’s heart, fully confident that they will get it, only most people don’t do that, as they are unsure of whether they want it or not. Hence, a fight is in place to make it all that more exciting and give us the feeling that the trophy is all that more valuable. There’s a truth to the saying “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” It may also be that you don’t know what you’ve got till you’ve had to fight for it.

There’s gotta be some reason why armor and amour are such similar words…so now with your amour, disarm someone of their armor…the cheese factor just reached 10,000 on a scale of 1 to 100….

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