Tag Archives: fear

Being a frightened little bunny and a brave bear…

In Sweden there is a cartoon about the world strongest bear, Bamse, and one of his friends is Lille Skutt (Little Jump), who is a rabbit. Often shaking with fear as he is a frightened little bunny, he always does what he knows he must, even if it scares him. This  makes him very brave, because he conquers his own fears. To others what he does may not seem brave, but because he is so scared of it, it is very brave.

To others our fears often seem irrational, because we all come from different backgrounds – some people are brought up walking on tight ropes, whereas others are taught that high heights are really dangerous. To the tight rope walker who knows that the security net will catch them if they fall, the fear of heights seem irrational. The person scared of heights, yet forced to walk a tight-rope won’t think of security nets, their mind will just simply have such a strong association between heights and fear that no matter what they won’t really grasp that they are safe.

Sometimes we just have to realize that our fear of relationships, work tasks, places, people…what have you, are simply negative associations which have nothing to do with reality and truly, if we can just see it, there is a safety net!

I guess we all just have to allow ourself to be frightened bunnies at times, it’s OK…we are still brave bears if we conquer…

Lille Skutt and his loved one…

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Brave heart…

this is my heart

It’s easy to be wise – it’s harder to convince your emotions just how wise you are. It takes years of practice not to run with every ridiculous impulse you have and yet years to learn to run with the true impulses, those that come from your spirit, your heart. It take year of practice to learn to listen to your thoughts; to really hear what’s going on within and be able to disregard the thoughts that count not and listen to the ones that do. To make a decision to act from the place you truly want to act from, rather than acting from a place of fear, of over the top excitement, of disappointment, or grief. It takes pratice to be true to you.

It takes bravery to follow your passions – to dare to lose that which you desire the most. To dare to give up what you do not desire at all and some things you really like, so as to reach what you truly love. We can’t have it all, but we can have this moment. It is within it we need to live and choose, choose every step of our journey now. It is in the now we practice to be whom we must to reach to where we want and at the same time be here, be now. Live. Breathe. Fully explore our hearts. Listen. Feel. Really be present to who we are; what we need. Fully enjoy the miracle of life in all its pain and pleasure.

And may I ask you this: if you had no fear, what would you do now? If you relaxed and instead of trying to do something, just did it, how would life feel? If you followed your heart, where would you end up? Those are the questions I ask myself and patiently await an answer…

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Beautiful you…

I love flowers

Dare to stick your neck out...into the flower field...

Knock, knock, who’s in there? Will you come out? Will you show me the beautiful you? Will you share your love and laughter with the world today? Hiding in the shadows doesn’t bring much light to your eyes. Walking in the sunshine makes your skin sparkle and your eyes twinkle with delight.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been a master at hiding. Since age nine, or so, I remember walking in roundabout ways to avoid people I thought would rather not see me. I remember locking myself into my room to avoid my step family. I remember looking down when a cute guy passed my path in fear of rejection. I remember feeling like a burden; an unwanted piece of something, that was better off hiding so as not to disturb others.

To this day I sometimes still retract; hide in a corner. Frightened that my company is unwanted; a burden on someone else. I don’t dare to open up and show the beauty that is me. I don’t dare to give.

If you aren’t sharing the light that is truly you. If you aren’t showing off your talents, your smile, your gorgeous, gorgeous laughter, you are doing the world, not to mention yourself, a disfavor.

The world is not here to judge you – the world is here to love you.  The world is not here to put you down – the world is here to enjoy you. The world is not here to punch you in the face – the world is here to fall in love with you. You see though, the tricky thing is for the world to enjoy you, they have to see you. For the world to receive your gifts, you have to give them. For the world to laugh at your jokes, you have to tell them. For the world to hear your stories, you have to share them. For the world to fall in love with you, you have to fall in love with the world.

And if you want for someone else to open, you have to love them open. Like a flower opens to the sun, humans open to love. That doesn’t mean there can’t be boundaries and discipline and telling someone right from wrong, that too is love, but without love all is empty. Without love we all close up. And so, you also have to love yourself open, so that you can see the beautiful you. So that the world gets a chance to enjoy you and you get a chance to enjoy the world.

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A very good year…

Cover of

We are standing on the doorstep of a new year. A new year. As always I remember the year that passed. It’s been a good year. It’s been a very good year. Filled with hurdles, as always, but I enjoyed myself very much. I will decide my new year’s resolutions. I will contemplate my learnings. That’s nice. Yet, I got scared the other day thinking about leaving this year behind.

I am at a place in my life where I don’t know what will happen next with pretty much anything. I have plan A, B, C…but still I don’t know. There are no secure visas, work, cash flow, or boyfriends. Life is in limbo. As I felt a surge of fear the other day thinking about the unknown I decided to find out what the fear was all about. I realized I was scared, but why? Sure I had good times last year and maybe I’m scared that this year will be crazy, but if anything I have grown up a bit more and hopefully can navigate a bit better, even if of course when you think you know something, you are likely to be taught a lesson… Life is ever-changing.

So I sat down, or walked around, and faced my fear. I asked myself what was so scary about the unknown? Nothing. What did frighten me was all the illusions, that’s to say dreams, I kept in my mind. My whole mind was literally crowded with “stuff.” Stuff I was holding onto. One or two things I was scared of, but mainly hopes that this that or the other would happen and imaginary ideas about it. I had a lot of attachments to my own imagination. I was scared that my fears would come real and my dreams wouldn’t come real. Once I faced my greatest fears, thinking through what it would be like to face them and also thought through what it would be like to not get what I wanted, my fear went away. When I just thought about not knowing and enjoying life in the here and now, I was not afraid.

People get angry when plans don’t come through, but sometimes life has a better plan…and even if it sucks…whatever it is that’s your life. It’s your life. Live it. Dance with it, or sing karaoke with it…laugh. Bleed. Love.

Sip the wine…taste the coffee, smile at the sunset, rise with the sun, dance under the stars, fly with the mind, race with the raindrops, fumble with the kiss when your lips are frozen, tingle with laughter, smile at the children, dare…dare to dream and do, but live, fully live in every moment!!!

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One nagging fantasy…

We all have fantasies right? Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you didn’t fantasize about that…..uh…..that new house you want. Or wearing that………..dress. Fantasies can be quite good – make us imagine things so we can act on them so as to achieve them. They allow us to pack a bag because we imagine what we will need to use during our trip. (That’s clearly why I didn’t bring an umbrella to San Fransisco…….I imagine I can buy one here…). You can also imagine the sum total of what you like and avoid people and things that don’t match up (instead of getting emotionally attached to douchebags because they are so charming…ahem..). What’s more, you can imagine where you want to go and if you see the road you are on isn’t taking you there, you can change paths. You can even imagine whom you want to be. The reality you create in your mind is the reality you will act from. If you believe you are unafraid of heights you will be happy to climb mountains. If you believe you are scared of heights, you will be unhappy climbing mountains. Maybe it’s subconscious, but it’s actually a choice. It’s not a defined reality. Pretty, cool, eh??!!!

Always remember whom you want to be and act from that place, instead of pondering on whom you’ve sometimes been and how much you dislike it. Move towards what you like instead of away from what you don’t like. So simple. Yet, we are so friggin brainwashed into thinking we are our pasts. Because of what we did then it makes us xyz. Because of what people told us we were, or how they reacted to us, it makes us abc. It makes us no one. The past is merely a fantasy in our minds.

I keep saying this, I keep forgetting it. I guess I need post-it notes all around the house saying: I am the now. I am whom I choose to be. I am the most comfortable corner within my soul. I am friggin marvelous!!!!!!!!

Have a wonderful Friday everyone – giggle at almost anything, tickle someone, watch the sunset, or the cloud formations, eat something you love, dive into endless possibilities and above all play with life, laugh out loud and love endlessly.

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Lay lady, lay…

Civil Rights March on Washington, D.C. closeup...

Bob & Joan

Maybe my life is like an old Bob Dylan song – gnawing, scorching, yet beautifully etched into a vinyl record. The book of life.

As thoughts get mingled together, in some sort of recipe I don’t always understand, I seek for meaning, for answers, for completion. Yet, this dance has carried me so far away from home, far away from both my physical home and the home inside my heart. The home where beauty lives. Where all what I treasure lives. I forget who I am. I live like a machine. A programmed machine. I eat, I sleep and I work. I stress. I still can’t manage it. I am trying to learn to value myself. To actually live, not just speak about it. It’s hard, it’s harder than I ever thought. Yet, as soon as I remember who I am, in my heart, it becomes easy. It becomes a dance again. A proper dance. One that makes me fly; soar like an eagle. I like that. I like flying.

The last few weeks haven’t been easy. Maybe because I have faced some of my most prominent fears. My fear of failure. My fear of loneliness. My fear of trust. My fear of illness. The fears I’ve lived with for so long. The fears that aren’t real, I’d just like to think that they are. The medicine is simple: get out. Get out of my own mind and into the real world. The physical world. The world I can actually touch. A world where I get an insight into other people’s lives, where I see them, feel them, interact with them. A world in which I am happy.

It’s so simple – it’s just to do what you know you must. Why I stick with old patterns baffles me. Now more than ever I see the futility of it all. How it can harm me in ways that are bad. Severely bad. Maybe that’s what I needed? A wake-up call? A call back from my heart, to my heart.

You have to value yourself. You have to put yourself first, or you will slip. You will slip down a long muddy hill which at first seems not too bad, but once you get further along, once you pick up speed, you will fall faster than you thought and the climb back up again will be that much longer. Therefore, catch yourself before you fall. Put yourself first. Give yourself what you would like for others to give to you. Now, in this moment. Just do it. Or you will be forever falling.

Stop and breathe. Breathe in the new day, the new possibilities. Feel yourself awakening, opening up to the sun, like a flower bud in June. Feel life. Feel yourself getting high on the force of life, the life force. Feel your own strength, your own tenderness. Slowly, step-by-step allow yourself to walk the path in wonder. Marvel. Marvel at the sights you see and the sounds and smells surrounding you. Feel. Feel life.

My favorite song of all time…

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Little chicken…

They say that our lives are determined by the questions we ask. Often I find myself stuck in a rut. I act and react habitually. Sometimes I want to act differently, but I am overcome by fear. What hit me today was that if I ask myself what my heroes would have done in my shoes, I would find an answer that would propel me into action. Why? I have faith in them, as well as a belief that “If they can do it, so can I.” Sometimes it’s really small things that make me chicken out, or I simply find myself acting in a way that won’t produce very helpful results, but I get confused as I don’t know how to change it. Now I do.

I guess it’s time to hatch – get out of the shell and live life to the full – as a hen…

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