Tag Archives: friendship

You are simply beautiful to some…

#712 小綠濛情

Today, as I was getting out of the tube, one person laid eyes on someone they knew and started waving. I could only see this person’s back, but the smile on the receiving end (the guy he was waving at) was so big it made me smile. And that’s life. It’s so beautiful when two people really appreciate one another – when they bring smiles to each other’s faces. When they share this world, so if only for a while.

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Gorgeous you and incredible me…

Cafe in Paris

Who will fill these seats next? Who will share their lives, if so only for a moment?

I was out having coffee with some friends last week. For some reason the meeting entered my mind today and suddenly a beautiful thought hit me: you meet people just to enjoy their company. Maybe that’s obvious, but isn’t it also beautiful? You go somewhere just to sit down and enjoy someone’s presence. To see them smile, to hear their laughter, to listen to their pain, to laugh at their jokes, to get entertained by their stories, to be intrigued by their minds, to share their life…to enjoy them and support them. To get happy for them and try to remove their sorrow from them. It may so be that I am corny, but I think this is absolutely amazing…just to sit there and indulge in someone’s presence…

 

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I said hello, you fool, I love you…come on and join the joyride…

Yeah, I’m quoting Roxette. It’s alright. I have an excuse: I’m Swedish. When walking around town the other day my best friend looked at me and did a little jump: “I love you,” she said and laughed. I told her I loved her too. It’s emotional discomfort month and I had forgotten to tell her I loved her thus far that day. She has taken such a joy in this habit she now reminds me if I forget to say it.

People change with love. Their features soften. Their smiles shine brighter. Their hearts grow warmer. They look cozy, comfortable and inviting.

A Thing About You

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When you see beauty…..a smile, a look, a touch of that thing……….when you see something you love, do you share that? Do you tell the person what beauty you just caught a glimpse of? Do you invite them to open the door to their inner gorgeousness just a tad more? Do you open that door yourself? Do you allow yourself to feel happy about who you are? Do you invite others to see the beauty that is you?

I don’t know darlings, but this emotional discomfort month is changing my life…and that of those around me. I feel…I feel more alive. More on fire. More like a light rather than a shadow. More intense. More awake. More pulsating and warm. More free. I’m not just sharing my opinions, I’m sharing my emotions, my love and my heartfelt desires with the world. The jail I always felt captured me is now crumbling to dust. I am free.

By complimenting someone you are setting them free from their worst demons: their own disbelief in themselves. Their own negative thoughts are being conquered. They think you are their mirror. If you display joy, they will believe they are joy. If you display love, they will believe they are love. If you smile, they will think they are the reason for your smile.

Maybe your love alone will not transform the entire world…yet it will because everything you touch, that is capable of feeling your touch, will turn to gold. And that gold in turn will turn other things into gold. Your warmth will spread. Your light will brighten the night sky and you will be surrounded by your own light.

And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while…’cuz you are amazing just the way you are…

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Knock baby, knock, knock…

You know the feeling right? When you hear that knock on the door…your heart stops for a while to listen…then beats a tad faster as you are wondering “Who could it be?” You throw a glance in the mirror and try to untangle your hair and get the chocolate off your upper lip… Then you stand up a bit taller and pull the door open.

When I was a kid I remember my new school teacher telling me that a few houses away lived another girl who was one year older. So at the age of six, I happily walked over, knocked on the door and asked if we could play. In the summers the kids on the other boats we were sailing with would come knock on the boat. In the winters my friends would come knock on our door… A knock meant play time. A knock meant good times. A knock meant a friend.

Someone knocked on our door last week. I opened to find a friend outside and was happily surprised. He had said he was gonna come round that week. I don’t know if it was because my best friend invariably fails to keep her cell phone on, or because he didn’t think it necessary, but we didn’t know he was coming just then. I liked it. I liked the surprise element and the familiarity of “just dropping by.”

I missed our Greek popstar/Buddhist monk like mad when he went back to Greece as I was so used of having him run in the door, pull my hair and get me to run up the Canyon cursing through closed lips that I had decided to join him up hill in the blazing sunshine. Not that I had a choice. In fact I was used to having him run into our house at any given hour…I once awoke confused by having someone jumping up and down in my bed. The other day he came back and I was thanking my lucky star if so only for a few weeks we get to have someone running into our house and dragging us out the door at unexpected hours.

I still remember once last year, my best friend dragged home our other best friend after class and we sat talking to the small hours. It’s those unexpected get-togethers…the ones where you search the fridge and freezer for something to serve, you pull out the left overs, you sip the last drops of wine…the ones where you end up talking till dawn about the small things in life that make a difference. It’s then that secrets are shared and laughs to be heard echoing down the street…

There’s of course a difference between gate crashing and knocking. You gotta knock for someone to answer…

I love that knock on the door. I love the extra beat my heart makes. I love having a good friend over. I love putting a kettle on the stove as they sit down in the sofa and space out as they get hypnotized by the view.

Sometimes it’s not a knock on the door, it’s a beeping phone, or an email, a Facebook message, a tweet, a blog comment…it’s 21st century madness…but it’s still a knock. A knock on the door to someone’s heart. And if it’s to mine, I will invariably smile!

Come over. Tell me where your heart is hurting, where it needs healing and where it is jumping for joy, where it is loving like never before…share a bit of who you are…what makes you tick…share a bit of the beauty of your soul.

Maybe don’t just pull…knock first…then you have the chance of someone opening their heart, their soul…what could be a better gift???

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To all the gorgeous people in my life…

The only way to allow someone to come home is to set them free. When I was younger I didn’t realize that. I thought that you had to have promises, or guarantees that if someone went for a walk they’d come back. And if I was in a relationship I wanted to know that they’d focus one hundred percent on making it work. I guess I was frightened of what would happen if they didn’t. Today I see it differently. If someone wasn’t one hundred percent focused on making it work I would be the one to leave. I also think promises are valid only up to a point. Life keeps changing.

A friend of mine was dating someone for a while. Every day when they met they would look each other in the eye to see if the other person was still there and seek out who they truly were. I thought that was beautiful.

It’s easy to get stagnant in life, or in relationships. A friend’s friend invented a game filled with questions, just because he wanted to remind himself that whenever he thought he knew his partner, he was wrong. He wanted to always keep searching her mind, body and soul for what he didn’t know. That too, to me, is beautiful.

This year I have met so many different people, old and new, that I have connected with in so many different ways. There are people whom intrigue me, there are people whom I always know when they will contact me, there are people whom I have discovered in ways I never thought I’d discover, there are people whom I miss dearly…there are just so many different connections. One thing I learnt this year is that there is indeed a “type” of men I have been known to fall for. Six pack, outgoing, charismatic, charming, cheeky, life of the party type of guy. Yet, I was talking to a friend the other night and suddenly realized although there have been flings and love interests in the last few years there’s only one guy I actually cared for, the rest I was attracted to. A true connection with someone is very different from pure attraction. And true connections aren’t necessarily flawless stereotypes. Love is an interesting thing.

To all my wonderful friends and family out there – thank you for an interesting journey, you make my life in so many ways!!!

People are like a box of secrets…yummy delights…

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Karma is one sexy beast…

The problem with knowledge is that you realize how damn stupid you were before you had it. There is an old saying that youth is lost on youth, I assume because when you are young you have all the benefits of youth, but only the knowledge of youth. When you get older you get wiser, but you lose the benefits of youth. Then again, I believe that maybe youth needs its stupidity so as to passionately go after the impossible (read: that which will take them through a million battles before they reach their goal), as those that succeed make it ever so little more possible for the rest. (It’s fascinating how new world records are set all the time – somehow every year we seem to get a little bit faster.)

Do you believe in karma? I’d like to believe in it, as I’d like to believe that we have some sort of way of controlling our own fate. I’d like to believe we reap the seeds we sow. I don’t, however, believe that just because you may have committed a crime in this or a past life time you should feel ashamed of yourself. In general I think being ashamed of oneself should only be a trigger to sort something out, not an excuse to sit and wither away in one’s own misery.

I started thinking about karma the other day as I came to think about a guy I was madly in love with way before I understood anything about love. I was just in love, full stop. Looking back it’s a rather funny story about ego, but at the time it was a very painful story. We never dated, but somehow I was madly in love with him and I gave him my heart to break in a million pieces. I was so in love with him that for me he became the symbol of love – for ten years I’d dream of him when I wanted love. Because the emotions I had for this guy were so strong I wondered if I had been with him in a past life and if I had hurt him greatly?

If you look back on my present life you can easily say that love has been the greatest confusion and source of pain. It’s only in the last year that I have gotten my head round the whole thing and I’m still learning. Through all this learning I have come to appreciate love. I also decided the other day, as I came to think of this guy, that I was going to take karma seriously. Whether it exists or not, I have something to learn from everything that goes wrong in my life.

If I was truly a heart breaker in a past life, I clearly did not understand what I was doing to people. In this life I have learnt what it feels like to be on the other side of the equation. If I caused people to feel like I have felt in this lifetime from family issues, men and bullies, I was a nutcase and I am truly sorry. I can only be sorry because I now understand the pain you can cause others by playing with them in ways they don’t necessarily understand, so they fall foul for the game due to their lack of knowledge. I also think that the people who have caused me pain, often, were not aware of it, or pretty much unable to stop themselves from doing it because of how life shaped them. If I think of the things I have done by mistake to hurt others, or because I didn’t know better, or couldn’t control my own behavior, it makes it easier to forgive them. Basically, by looking at the situation from their point of view I can finally forgive them.

Also, if I ask for forgiveness, I learn what it feels like to be on the other side of where I am at right now. It allows the mind to travel. I am not what happened to me and I have to learn to detach myself from it. And by genuinely apologizing you learn some humility – I’m sure I’ve broken a few hearts in this lifetime too and I know for sure that my ego enjoys when I know I can have a guy, even though I don’t want him. However, I don’t encourage guys I don’t want. I may be friends with them, but that’s that. It’s harder with guys that you feel that you have some sort of connection, but you know you don’t want to be with. Attraction is a complex thing.

If I look back on my heart-breaks in this life (which may be the only one I’ve ever had, or will have, I don’t know) I have learnt a lot from that. I guess there are two ways of learning about love: getting it right from the start and experiencing what it should be like so you know what you want, or failing in all ways until you figure out what it isn’t and therefore what it should be. Some of my main learnings are that for certain a guy can be “your type” but that’s not love. For certain there are a few people in this life that have achieved the level that you would like to achieve and that you admire, but that’s not love. For certain there are people in this life that mirror you in more ways than one, but that’s not love. For certain a guy can tell you the most amazing things till your ego feels like it’s flying to the moon and back, but that’s not love. Love, to me, is an understanding, a connection if you so like, a dose of attraction and a willingness to create life together. I have discussed that under the page titled Love here, so I won’t go into it again, but it’s very different from when I was a teenager and hopelessly in love with a person who was no good for me at all, so if I admired him and we mirrored each other in some ways.

Another of my beliefs is that if you ask for something and you are prepared to do what it takes, including apologizing for your karma, you will get it. However, most people probably don’t try to learn from every event life throws at them. Most people don’t want to take hit after hit so as to reach a certain destination. Most people blame others for their failure, or are jealous of others for their success. If someone was to ask me if I was willing to climb one of the hardest climbs there are and fall a few times along the way, so as to reach one of the greatest mountain tops there are, I would have said yes. I know myself well enough to know that. I had to slip and fall on the head a few times for me to realize that life isn’t about success – that I can be happy in the here and now. I’ve had to fall maybe even harder to let go of some of my ego. And I’ve definitively fallen a few times when it comes to love. Why did I have to fall so many times? Because I simply didn’t get it the first time! That’s not necessarily my fault – I didn’t know better. Am I happy I got to where I am now though? Yes. Yes, I am.

It’s hard to forgive those that inflicted pain on you. It’s hard to forgive them unless you become them. If you imagine what they went through to become whom they are. If you see life through their eyes. And if you imagine, just for a minute or two, that you are them, trapped in that very set of circumstances and thoughts and you see you doing what they did, only now it’s to them…maybe then you can forgive yourself and by doing so, forgiving them. And maybe, just maybe, do you learn the lesson that life was trying to tell you so desperately with signs as big as elephants, that you, of course, did not see. From what I’ve learnt, I can only thank the people who ruined me for being so kind to do so.

I have to say, in my life, karma, if it exists, has been a big sexy beast…I mean all those men were just so friggin yummy!!!

Am I a fool, being played by a fool, or simply acting foolishly???…

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You’re ugly, but I’d shag you anyway…

OK, so this is not a PC (politically correct) headline, but life is not PC. Have you ever met anyone who complains they are shy? Ugly? Feel inferior? Don’t like their body? Well, welcome to the world – that probably goes for 99.9% of the population. That is to say – anyone who is not a guru.

Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game. – Voltaire

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. – George Bernard Shaw

Excuses. Blame. I am. I can’t. Let me ask you, are you something? Or do you have tendencies? Now, most people think that they are something. I can’t predict myself. Therefore, I can’t be something. I have certain tendencies. I also have choice. Most people walk around all day long saying that they “are” their past. Please. I was my past. Today, I am me. Is that “me” a sum total of all the experiences I have had so far, so that when something new happens my reaction will be as a result of all these experiences? Probably. I have a theory though and it’s hardly unique: I believe, or at least I hope, that anyone who is told that s/he has a choice to be whom they choose to be and believes that to be true, will make a decision that they are going to educate themselves to become the person they want to be. In other words: they won’t think that they are the events that happened to them, but rather, they will search for the knowledge they need to be able to make new choices – form new behaviors. It is true that we can only make decisions from that which we know, that’s why education, if experience is lacking, is essential. If you wanna get somewhere: ask the people who got there. No, I’m not saying you can copy them exactly – you are unique, but you can only see as far as you look. Most people don’t look very far.

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many—not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. – Charles Dickens

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why am I so passionate about this subject? Because I see people all the time that have a ton of excuses as to why they are not living the life of their dreams. Also, at the age of 13 I hardly spoke unless spoken too; I was called geek, ugly and, obviously, shy. I know what it is like to feel like a pieces of worthless shit. Excuse my language, but that’s how I felt as a kid. I made a decision though – I saw people who had what I wanted to have and behaved like I wanted to behave and I set out to become like that. Today people think I am lying when I speak about my past. I’m not. That kid really was me and it really is possible to change. Was it easy? No, because I believed I was my experiences. It took some time to figure out I was just a human – I wasn’t shy, I wasn’t ugly and I wasn’t a geek. I was just a person. Did it take some time to figure out how not to be shy, ugly and geeky? Yes. I wasn’t a master socializer and oozing self-confidence when I first set out, let’s put it that way, but through trial and error I learnt to be a fairly outgoing, confident person. Sure I still slip back into old patterns sometimes, but I realize that’s not me. I am whom I choose to be, minus a few genes.

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. – Seneca

It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, “Always do what you are afraid to do. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you think people become popular because of their genes, or because they have a certain kind of behavior? Do you think people succeed because they are intelligent beyond belief, or because they have a certain kind of behavior? If it is because of behavior, would it maybe be wise to check what they do and start applying that? I have spent a lot of time amongst sales people and life coaches and read a ton about mentalism and hypnosis – believe me when I say that there are ways to deal with people and there are ways not to deal with people. It has nothing to do with having to change who you are, it’s just how you deal with things.

If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it. – Jonathan Winters

If I could give you one gift, I would give you the ability to see yourself as I see you, so you could see how truly special you are. – Author Unknown

Did you ever meet someone who is excusing themselves all the time for their existence? They show up at your b-day party with a gift: “Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t know whether to bring a gift or not, but I did get you one. I’m sorry if it’s not what you really want, or if it’s too stupid and I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have brought you a gift in the first place.” Then someone else walks in and says “Hello gorgeous, I brought you a gift. I am the worst gift buyer in the world, but it’s the thought that counts, isn’t it?!! Happy b-day hun.” Of course there is a person behind each of these behaviors. Of course they mean equally well. I’m just wondering, who do you think has the most luck in love of the two? The most luck with their career? It can also be said, that both of them will probably become luckier and better at most everything if there is someone next to them who believes in them and feeds them enough love to give them wings, so if that person is themselves. No, it’s not easy to find that energy to love yourself sometimes, but it is the key to flying without wings.

I am so glad that you are here… It helps me realize how beautiful my world is. – Goethe

Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

My dad always taught me that you can eat a brick if you really want to. He also used to say that second place is no place. He made me highly motivated, which I am sure he regrets by now – he didn’t realize exactly what I’d go after in life when he made these statements. Sufficient to say though, I was taught to fight. Had I not been I’d still be a shy, inferior little thing that believed she was worthless. I’m not worthless – no one is. You just have to stand up for yourself. And don’t tell me you are ugly. So is Jaquin Phoenix, in my opinion, and I swear he is the hottest thing since chili in Walk The Line. It’s character, not looks that shape a face and makes you wanna shag someone 90% of the time. Fitness and thinking you are a great shag helps too and all that takes is exercise.

Perseverance is failing nineteen times and succeeding the twentieth. – Julie Andrews (if it would only be that ratio…I believe I have failed a lot more often than that!!)

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi

Also, a lot of women apparently think that because they have small boobs they can’t get men. In that case I would NEVER get a guy and I have absolutely no lack of men wanting to shag me. I don’t think Kate Hudson does either.

If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. – Glenn Clark

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know that so it goes on flying anyway. – Mary Kay Ash

I believe it’s only when you see yourself as inferior to someone else that you make excuses for whom you are. No one is better than you. They may have practiced their skills for longer, or learnt earlier where they wanted to go, but they are NOT better than you.

We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you love me because I’m beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me? – Oscar Hammerstein

YOU deserve LOVE. Especially your own love. And when that happens, you will stop being an excuse and start being the person whom you truly are. At least, that was the case for me. Of course most of our lives would be easier if we were surrounded by people who loved us and infused us with strength (for one it we would stop us from seeking love from inappropriate places, such as douche bags, diva queens and emotional fuckwits) – so here’s to you: warm big loooong hugs, hot cups of tea, tons of laughter and lovely smiles.

RT @guy_finley D truth is that real success, ultimately the only success, is determined by how much we are in actual possession of ourselves

More from this guy here: www.attitudeisaltitude.com

You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die, or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live now. – Joan Baez

Love makes the world a hell of a lot brighter =)

That would be me!!! =)

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