Tag Archives: relationships

How to melt a woman’s heart…seriously….

Bryan Adams

Sing it out loud...

Two men throughout history have managed to sum it up in their lyrics….at least that I’ve come across. And it’s so damn simple. It’s almost scary. So men, listen carefully and women…tell me if I’m right???…

To really love a woman
To understand her – you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought – see every dream
N’ give her wings – if she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin’ helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman then tell her
that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman then tell her that she’s the one
’cause she needs somebody to tell her
that it’s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
– really really ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
Let her hold you –
till you know how she needs to be touched
You’ve gotta breathe her – really taste her
Till you can feel her in your blood
N’ when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
then tell her that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman then tell her that she’s the one
’cause she needs somebody to tell her
that you’ll always be together
So tell me have you ever really –
really really ever loved a woman?

You got to give her some faith – hold her tight
A little tenderness – you gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin’ good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman…

Then when you find yourself lyin’ helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman
When you love a woman you tell her
that she’s really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she’s the one
she needs somebody to tell her
that it’s gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
– really really ever loved a woman?

Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman? You got to tell me
Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman?

– Bryan Adams –

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they’re not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She’s so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don’t see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she’d let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She’s so beautiful

– Bruno Mars –

Of course, I’d be happy just to get breakfast in bed and Lay, Lady Lay…

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Dating…as juicy as it gets…ahem…

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (film)

No more fuck-wits, alcoholics, workoholics, shopoholics, couchoholics, sexoholics (too much of the good stuff..)...fruitcakes or other freaks...

You went on a first date. You thought he was hot. You’re not sure what he thought, but he talked for a loooong time. So you wait for that magical text to figure out whether he liked you or not. See if you can get a second date and maybe even a kiss??? Ohhhuuuhhooohhohoho… *blush* Of course he told you he’d love to see you again, but they always do, even the ones that you don’t want to see and whom you know don’t want to see you. You have a feeling that…well, maybe, but he didn’t have that look in his eye…he just seemed curious. So now you’re curious…

First night, right after the date. “He doesn’t want to seem eager, so he won’t thank me today. Naturally. Would potentially be freaky if he did. OTT. Might lead to me running away screaming. I was never one for the lovey dovey type. Yikes.”

Second night: “He’s playing hard to get, or he’s busy, or not interested. Wouldn’t it be easier to just find out on the spot? Whoever invented this daft dating game anyway?”

Third night: “This is it. 48 hours. The magic hour has arrived. Either he texts, or calls me, or he doesn’t care. Unless, his mother is dying, his office is on fire, he had to travel to Alaska, or his dog got kidnapped. All very unlikely.”

Fourth nigh: “Damn it, I actually liked him. Normally don’t. Even his damn perfume was tantalizing. Then again, he could turn out to be wacko. Wouldn’t be the first. Maybe I’m protected by higher powers? Or maybe he just didn’t like me? How sad. Then again, I’m not your average cup of tea. Exotic spice. Makes all the difference. Some people prefer plain Lipton though. Booooooooring. #justsaying I can’t even justify that he’d be a dork though, ‘cuz I have no fucking clue. He just seemed damn nice. Oh, well. I want to think, of course, that he’ll call during the weekend. But he won’t. Because sending a #thankyouitwasnicemeetingyou txt only takes a minute or two. He didn’t have problems writing before the date. Probably not after either. He might have lost a finger, but unlikely. He’s so not into me. Maybe it was the bit “I have no car (but I use the neighbor’s), no house (but I live in a gorgeous house with a goat, a talking parrot and an emu…no I’m not freaky), no stable job (but I’m applying for extra work as I’d prefer that to be an executive PA again…yes, I’m sane. I just don’t like paperwork.), no cash and uh…obviously no husband….I’m saving all of that for my thirties, in my twenties I’m meant to be playing. Oh yes, I have three start-up ventures that take up all my spare time and yeah, I’d squeeze you in between 12 am and 4 am…deal?” Never mind. Let’s paaaaaaaaarty. Where did I put that dress???”

(Afterthought: “If he calls me now I will have to delete this post before he gets wind of my blog and reads this.”)

(Second afterthought: “I better not show this to the date I have tomorrow either. God it’s complicated being single. One has to be so secretive of things. Then there are no more dates lined up though. Yes, let’s paaaaaarty. Does anyone have some caffeine? I think I’m falling asleep. I need to write that thing and research that and…yawn…what did I think about that marketing strategy???…uhm…let’s…yawn…party. Let’s just work a little bit more first…yawn. Maybe a nap?”)

(Third afterthought: “If any potential date reads this I’ll be single forever. Yawn.”)

“Hey, still not married yet, eh, Bridge? How’s your love life?”

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I said hello, you fool, I love you…come on and join the joyride…

Yeah, I’m quoting Roxette. It’s alright. I have an excuse: I’m Swedish. When walking around town the other day my best friend looked at me and did a little jump: “I love you,” she said and laughed. I told her I loved her too. It’s emotional discomfort month and I had forgotten to tell her I loved her thus far that day. She has taken such a joy in this habit she now reminds me if I forget to say it.

People change with love. Their features soften. Their smiles shine brighter. Their hearts grow warmer. They look cozy, comfortable and inviting.

A Thing About You

Image via Wikipedia

When you see beauty…..a smile, a look, a touch of that thing……….when you see something you love, do you share that? Do you tell the person what beauty you just caught a glimpse of? Do you invite them to open the door to their inner gorgeousness just a tad more? Do you open that door yourself? Do you allow yourself to feel happy about who you are? Do you invite others to see the beauty that is you?

I don’t know darlings, but this emotional discomfort month is changing my life…and that of those around me. I feel…I feel more alive. More on fire. More like a light rather than a shadow. More intense. More awake. More pulsating and warm. More free. I’m not just sharing my opinions, I’m sharing my emotions, my love and my heartfelt desires with the world. The jail I always felt captured me is now crumbling to dust. I am free.

By complimenting someone you are setting them free from their worst demons: their own disbelief in themselves. Their own negative thoughts are being conquered. They think you are their mirror. If you display joy, they will believe they are joy. If you display love, they will believe they are love. If you smile, they will think they are the reason for your smile.

Maybe your love alone will not transform the entire world…yet it will because everything you touch, that is capable of feeling your touch, will turn to gold. And that gold in turn will turn other things into gold. Your warmth will spread. Your light will brighten the night sky and you will be surrounded by your own light.

And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while…’cuz you are amazing just the way you are…

Wanna join me for more dizzy blonde journeys? Click here

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To all the gorgeous people in my life…

The only way to allow someone to come home is to set them free. When I was younger I didn’t realize that. I thought that you had to have promises, or guarantees that if someone went for a walk they’d come back. And if I was in a relationship I wanted to know that they’d focus one hundred percent on making it work. I guess I was frightened of what would happen if they didn’t. Today I see it differently. If someone wasn’t one hundred percent focused on making it work I would be the one to leave. I also think promises are valid only up to a point. Life keeps changing.

A friend of mine was dating someone for a while. Every day when they met they would look each other in the eye to see if the other person was still there and seek out who they truly were. I thought that was beautiful.

It’s easy to get stagnant in life, or in relationships. A friend’s friend invented a game filled with questions, just because he wanted to remind himself that whenever he thought he knew his partner, he was wrong. He wanted to always keep searching her mind, body and soul for what he didn’t know. That too, to me, is beautiful.

This year I have met so many different people, old and new, that I have connected with in so many different ways. There are people whom intrigue me, there are people whom I always know when they will contact me, there are people whom I have discovered in ways I never thought I’d discover, there are people whom I miss dearly…there are just so many different connections. One thing I learnt this year is that there is indeed a “type” of men I have been known to fall for. Six pack, outgoing, charismatic, charming, cheeky, life of the party type of guy. Yet, I was talking to a friend the other night and suddenly realized although there have been flings and love interests in the last few years there’s only one guy I actually cared for, the rest I was attracted to. A true connection with someone is very different from pure attraction. And true connections aren’t necessarily flawless stereotypes. Love is an interesting thing.

To all my wonderful friends and family out there – thank you for an interesting journey, you make my life in so many ways!!!

People are like a box of secrets…yummy delights…

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P.S. I really do love you…

Ever lost someone you loved? I have. Most of us have. And with them a part of the world went missing. You can’t have it back. You really can’t. It’s scary as all hell and it hurts like hell.

When I lost my mom I was six years old. I can’t remember much of what she was like. I still remember the pain of losing her though. If I think about it I get tears in my eyes. I panic. I get the impression of leaning against a wall that disappears suddenly and you are left falling onto the ground with a big bang.

When I lost my granddad (mom’s dad) I was 24. Grandpa was like my surrogate dad. All my grandparents have been like my parents since mom died. I found out a month before he died that he was going to die. We were on the Canary Island for Christmas – I had come home from London to be with the family and as we came back to the airport there was this awful voice calling us on the speakers saying we should contact the office. My gran had called to say granddad was in the operation room. My sister cried hysterically all night. I think her world fell apart then. She was only a year old when mom died and she loved grandpa above and beyond.

We found out he was dying the next day and I sat down to write him a letter, saying all I ever wanted to say about how much he meant to me. I had to go back to London, but flew back to see him a week or so before he died. It’s the only time I’ve seen grandpa in a bad mood. He was my pillar of strength. He was like a ray of sunshine – always happy. He got angry with me fair and square (and without menace) when he thought I was rude, or wasn’t on time (that’s nine times out of ten), or broke some rule or other, but he was never sulky, or down. He’d do anything for the family. I see their old Volvo coming driving to the rescue whenever something happened. I used to live with them quite a lot during high school and coming home to him and gran was the most secure thing in the world. They were simple, straight forward and easy to be around. When he finally died I cried a little, but I was ready for it. I’d said what I wanted to say and I felt like I was in a good place. I was still studying, I was enjoying my life and I had a boyfriend to help me through it all.

Last year my gran on dad’s side became senile and even though she’s still alive, to reach her properly is impossible. I thought I’d handle it well and maybe I did, as I guess I was the one who still managed to talk to her (showing her pictures in old books I’d given her, magazines, etc….basically just trying to give her a chance of participating in the moment, not in a fantasy), but I still feel like my heart is breaking. I heard her voice on the phone for my birthday and I burst out crying like a baby. Maybe because I never had that final chat with her. Maybe because I wasn’t at a stabile point in my life. Maybe because I don’t have a boyfriend to lean on. Maybe because I can’t visit her all the time. I don’t know, but losing her has been rough. I just think she should be there when anything happens in my life. Like, how can I get married without gran? And whenever I need support, there’s no one to call that will give me the same loving understanding.

Having these people in my life has been one of the best things ever. People make up my life. They make me smile. They hug me. They make me laugh. They share the good times and the bad times with me. They are the security net insurance can’t buy. Without people my life would be dead. When one person leaves that hurts. The great thing is that there are so many people out there just waiting to be discovered by you – people who you will share your life with. People who will be a joyous part of your life. Don’t be scared to love, because there will always be love. Always. It changes shape like everything else, but it never leaves you.

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I don’t wanna talk…

…about the things we’ve been through. Yeah, yeah, I’m quoting Abba…I know, I know…blonde Swede by the wheel. So let’s talk about sex baby…or not. Let’s have sex. No, let’s talk about it. No, let’s have it. No let’s talk about it…no…yes…no…fuck you. What? Yes, fuck me. No. Yes………

I’m going to do something very forbidden right now – I’m going to generalize (why do I suddenly see a bunch of angry people marching against me shouting tasteless blonde jokes???…).

Women are accusing men of being sex driven and men are accusing women for being baby (and, therefore, relationship) driven. Now if you are a man, imagine that women see babies the way you see sex…and can’t help it. Women, imagine seeing sex the way you see babies (and relationships) on the worst days. Of course, women only have baby drive for certain days per month/periods of their lives, but it leads to some women hunting guys like…well, like men hunt women. They are both “drives” that we can learn to control, because let’s face it – babies aren’t always a good idea and sometimes sex isn’t either. By the end of the day both drives lead to the same end result – a life. Only we don’t always realize this when we are hormone high and just following instinct (and have a condom at hand)…on the other hand, it’s pretty damn good sex with two people who are letting their desires lose…

Women are accusing men of being cold and only care for sex and men are accusing women of being needy. Men were made to spread their sperm, women were made to raise babies and to do so, having a man around to hunt for some food is useful as babies take up time. Of course, it’s a very practical thing to have a rational man around and a woman to bring care. It’s harmony, but when it goes tits up it’s…not so harmonious… (“Why were you flirting with the woman at the petrol station?” “Why do you need to sit at home nesting and being all lovey-dovey?”)

Another amusing aspect of this is that men always freak out about women bonding (no not bondage…but they wish…) with them too early, they are too emotional, etc. Women are built like that – for the sake of the baby, we need to love you men. Happens every time. Even with the jerk we dated before you and the Prince we will date after you, should you dump us or we have enough of you. That’s why women need to be careful with whom they shag, because hormones go flying. We are built to get addicted to men (ouch, I hate this shit…yep…I’M INDEPENDENT FOR FUCK’S SAKE…yeah, yeah..). Women on the other hand find men cold at first, because they were built to being addicted to sex. The weird thing is that apparently, once a guy falls for a gal, it can take him three to five years to get over her. YEARS! Women have to act faster as they have a biological clock. We only waste a month or two in mourning. Doesn’t mean we don’t remember and (don’t…because we don’t…lol) compare everyone to that one guy that won our heart for some weirdo (or not so weirdo) reason…and that we wouldn’t shag him did we have a chance…but we don’t get stuck on one guy to the point of not allowing others in. We move on. We have to.

Women for some reason need to explain everything and have everything explained to them. Men only need to decide (in a quiet place, alone, strong and independent) and then they act. Women feel disrespected as they aren’t explained why the actions happened. Men get irritated as women are so complicated, needy and irritatingly close, trying to get them to actually SPEAK to them. Biologically I can’t figure this one out, but when action meets emotion, when hot meets cold…wahowahwooom…explosion…could be good….).

Another thing is, as a woman, I believe we contemplate having sex with everything that moves just as much as a man…but if we are talking biology – maybe a woman thinks beforehand as she will have to raise the kid and needs a dependable father. A man can always leave, but before contraception and abortion existed, a woman was stuck with the baby. Therefore we think relationship before we think sex. We have learnt to control ourselves. Ahem. Sometimes.

A woman needs to be convinced to get involved in the first place. A man needs to be convinced to stay. A woman needs to feel safe. A man needs to know he got The Queen Of The World, or else, why would he not keep spreading his sperm?

I also think this is why babies change relationships. If she realizes she was in it due to her baby drive (which has now been satisfied) and he realizes he agreed without thinking she’s The Queen Of The World, he just got a bit…excited…there’s trouble ahead. On the other hand, if she picked Mr Fabulous and got a baby with Him…and he picked The Queen Of The World…a baby will bring a lot of pleasure to them both and bond them further.

I may be absolutely wrong about all the above, but yin and yang people…when we wear each others’ shoes, when we learn to understand…how much of our biology is actually about each other – that we were created for each other….maybe then relationships will start to get a bit more…sexy… I mean, we are all looking for each other, we just don’t seem to get it….and playing with fire is dangerous unless you know how to make it work….but don’t we all love fire? And men on motorbikes…or what was it again???

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Are Swedish people really best in bed???…

Someone googled the headline of this post and ended up on my blog, so I feel obliged to answer them: yes, naturally. We are Swedish. That says it all. Seriously speaking, I can’t believe someone would google this. I mean seriously?!!!! There is a Swedish saying: taste is like the butt – divided in two parts. Literally meaning that we all have different tastes and as far as I know there is no sex school in Sweden that’s giving extraordinary lessons, although I wish there was. How cool wouldn’t it be to be taught sex? Wouldn’t that remove a lot of the hysteria around the whole thing? Of course sex has everything to do with personal chemistry too, but nonetheless, the Indians and Taoists were teaching this like how many centuries ago? Have we digressed or something?

How many people have ever felt like they’d like to know exactly how to push someone’s buttons in bed? Hands up? OK, quite a few of you…. I know for one that I wish someone would have taught me what to do and not to do in bed before I tried it out. I mean saving oneself heart palpitations or what? Having said that, if you truly love someone, I’m sure you’ll figure it all out together anyway, it’s just most people end up in bed way before they love one another and instead of exploring they are both trying to prove what sex gods/goddesses they are, totally freaking out about the other person’s opinion of them. It’s of course different in different cultures, I have lived in the city for a long time and it truly is Sex And The City, if you get my point – I know very few people who wait to have sex until they know they love someone, or at least trust them. However, love and trust apart, no matter how much you explore, wouldn’t it just be handy to learn from the masters? I mean, even if I have danced since I was a kid, I wouldn’t say no to a lesson from Liza Minelli! And if there is as big a difference between being good in bed and being great in bed as there is between being a dancer and being a professional dancer…hey, give me some classes!!!

All of life is an art, sex included, I just wish we could all take the pressure off (including the Swedes with their ultra reputation to live up to…) and have fun, learn, practice (with whom you see fit)…and treat it as the art it should be. Now I’m off to read two books – one is called The Mastery of Love (re-read) and the other The Multi-Orgasmic Couple. I swear by the first one, the second one…I’ll let you know when I get a boyfriend…

No, Swedish, hello!!!!

You gotta see the humor in things…even in sex…

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